Simon leaving American Idol

Simon Cowell will be leaving American Idol to work on his shows Britain's Got Talent and X-Factor. We hear that they're looking for a replacement even though it will be difficult to replace him.

I would do it but i'm not bitter enough, yes i am a genius and i am honest but i am not brutally that brutally honest.

We know quite a few people who happen to be equally as intelligent and brutally honest as Simon - and most of them happen to be part of the evil genius district.

There's a reason Tyrone DeSoto is nicknamed Tyrone The Terrible - he's a professional supervillain. For those who have seen what his abode looks like - it is a very impressive evil hi tech fortress with all sorts of death traps in it. Tyrone is very good at playing villain type roles, and he does so in many of our productions. In fact two of his villain roles were kind of based on Simon - one of which was Dark Overlord Simon from our fantasy film The Portal (modelled on Simon and has his mannerisms, also inspired by a few well known Disney villains - mainly Scar, Jafar and Hades) and the role of record executive Alistair Banks (playing the Scrooge type role in our modern retelling of A Christmas Carol).

Not only that - Tyrone also is a friend of Darth Rangoon (who is a sith lord), and J.P Alvin Valkanheiser (the judge from the film Nothing But Trouble)

Tyrone's plans for what he wishes to add to the American Idol studio include a moat filled with crocodiles, a Mr Bonestripper rollercoaster, a shark tank, a torture chamber, and a pit with a big hungry monster in it. He hasn't decided what kind of monster to put in it though.

Darth Rangoon has suggested a rancor like in Return Of The Jedi. Dan McCloud suggested a Komodo dragon or a giant snake.

I think Tyrone would make a great Simon replacement. Plus with his evil genius brain and unlimited supplies of torture equipment - there would be zero perchant chance of the contestants ever complaining or having a grudge against him - and there's only 50% chance of said contestants coming back alive.

Tyrone knows a lot about the evil buisness, he's seen almost every Blackadder episode and can recite lines from all of those episodes pretty damm well, he's also dressed as the title character to reinassaunce faires. He is also good friends with Tim Curry (who by the way was excellent as the voice of Morlock in the Millitary koalas movie).

He is also a big fan of Tales From The Crypt - in fact he's seen all of the episodes (he's seen both the live action series and the animated one) - he's got a twisted sense of humour, and probably is the only one besides us who isn't creeped out by the Crypt Keeper. In fact the Tales From The Crypt haunted house tour attraction of the masters of horror wing of our museum/theme park was his idea. He can watch the endings of any of the episodes and NOT even cringe at the horrible gory demise of the main character.

One time he was asked to do an essay on his favourite movie ever - guess which movies he wrote about - he did his essays on Beetlejuice and Nothing But Trouble.

I kind of agree with him on Nothing But Trouble, it is a pretty funny film - sure it is a little creepy and weird but it's SUPPOSED to be like that - it's also a blast seeing Dan Akyroyd playing dual roles - he is great as both the creepy J.P Alvin Valkanheiser and Bobo (one of the two twins). John Candy is wonderful both as Dennis and as the mute yet lovely Eldona.

The Mr Bonestripper rollercoaster scene is amazing, the set design in general is pretty epic. That movie is severey underated.

I suggest you get out that movie sometime. You might like it.

Just don't ask what those hot dogs in the movie are made of.