Teachers from hell

Most of the teachers at our old school were either insane, idiotic or pure evil.

Teachers and staff-Old school:

Mrs Davis:
Mrs Davis had to be THE most creepy teacher ever in the whole school. She looked like Bette Midler and had a severe case of split personality disorder. That woman had some serious issues. One minute she would be all nice and sweet and and the next minute she would be all aggressive and mean. We always thought that she was possessed. One time during a parent teacher conference my father slapped her and shouted "SNAP OUT OF IT WOMAN!" when she went from being nice to angry. I hope that woman sees a therapist soon. My brother always refered to her as a female Dr Jekyll- and whenever she went from nice to angry my brother would always call her Bride Of The Hulk. Seriously that woman is creepy, so creepy she makes Marilyn Manson look sweet by comparision.

Mrs Dimwoodie:

This one had to be the stupidest one of them all, even her name sounded stupid. She was our geography teacher and let me tell you she didn't know a thing about geography, she got all the places on the map mixed up, she didn't even know the answers to the questions on the test she gave us, she was so dumb she often needed us to give HER instructions on what to do. My brother always refered to her as Mrs Dimwit.

Mrs Long:

Okay, there was this something seriously wrong with this teacher, she was the most paranoid of all the teachers. She looked like a female version of Carrot Top and was extremely paranoid. It was like she thought someone was out to kill her or something. She would be like this all the time: "W--W-W-What was that? Is they're something out to get me?". She frequently had panic attacks and freaked out at the sound of the school bell. She was also extremely cowardly. My brother always refered to her as The Cowardly Lioness.


Mrs Hardey:
Our Literature/Spanish teacher Mrs Harvei had to be the most irritating teacher ever. She was a total diva and was most of the time extremely catty. She was our Spanish teacher but she didn't even know a lick of it. She always used to dress in flamboyant dressess, one time for a special occassion she showed up in a hawaaii theme dress, my brother and I laughed and thought she looked like a fruit salad. And her accent was the worst Spanish accent ever. My brother always refered to her as Mrs Naggington.

Mrs Hurry:

Our gym teacher, boy she was a nightmare to deal with. If I had to choose between a horrible torture procedure or having to suffer through gym, I'd pick torture everytime. She was a female version of R.Lee Ermey's character in Full Metal Jacket, always barking out orders, always yelling and yet she could never stand still she was always running on the spot. My brother refered to her as Mrs Bossy Boots.

Mr Cable:

This guy was the loudest teacher ever, he would yell at us for no apparent reason. It's like he didn't know the meaning of the word inside voice. His voice was loud and bombastic and on numerous occassions whenever we said or did something wrong he would yell so loudly that everyone in the room would go deaf. My brother refered to him as Loud Mouth Billy Bass.

Mrs Hart:

This one was a total elist snob. She was our art teacher and she acted like an upperclass snob. Whenever we did a painting or drawing she would often rate it on how good it was, and most of the time it was "not good enough, try again" or something like that.

Mr Greensley and Mrs Carter:

Our music and drama teacher duo. These two had to be the hammiest teachers in the whole school. They would ALWAYS overreact to everything. Overacting was their speciality, they were always shouting and being so overdramatic. Mr Greensley was so hammy that he almost on the same level of hamminess as Tim Curry. You can bet that we would get Tim Curry to do the voice of him if we ever did a cartoon about our old school days. Mrs Carter was equally as hammy, she was like Joan Cusack in Addams Family Values. We would so get Joan Cusack to do the voice of her if we did a cartoon about our old school days. These two had enough ham to open their own butcher shop. My brother refered to them as Hamsley and Porkette.

Mr Cope:
Our school principal, he was hopeless. His name was Mr James Cope and let me tell you- he was the most idiotic person in the whole school, he couldn't even do his job right- he failed at it so much it's a wonder he didn't get fired. He's so stupid he makes George Bush look smart. And the worst thing about is that he talks A LOT, he never shuts up. During assemblies he goes on and on and on and there's end in sight, the guy never shuts up and he is so unbelivably pompous. I would rather hang myself than sit through one of HIS lectures. My brother refers to him as The Chataholic or sometimes Sir Yaps A Lot. His assistant was of no help either, she was a cold hearted wench by the name of Mrs Brooks, she looked like Cruella De Vil and acted like her too (and also had some similarities to Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty), she would always give us all the evil eye. My brother refered to her as The Cold-Hearted Snake Woman (he did a caricature of her as a snake-like creature for art class once).

Teachers and staff: The school after that.

Jan:
Jan was such a sweet, gentle soul she would never hurt a fly. But she had this inner turmoil that was always ready to blow. She was very nice and sweet, she was like Mrs Potts from Beauty And The Beast. My brother always refered to her as kindly Mother Hillhurst.

Myrtle:
This was one of the best helpers in the whole class, she was of Spanish descent and was very attractive and exotic. She was also a skilled artist. She could draw or paint anything. She was so kind and friendly too. My brother's nickname for her was Ms Mona Lisa.

Heather:
This one was our favourite. She was very funny and artistic, she loved everything to do with pop culture. She could draw like a pro and her skills in the makeup department weren't too bad either. She looked quite similar to Andria. She was the funniest woman ever. She's an expert on music too, she can tell you what song you're listening to just by hearing a few seconds of it- she can tell you who sings it, what genre it is and everything in between, she rules! My brother calls her The Genius Redhead.

Penny:

Penny was such a nice lady, so sweet and caring. She was always so unbelivabely funny. She could make you laugh just by walking up to you and saying "Hi!". Penny was so much fun to be around, she knew a lot about movies and tv. The nicest thing about her is that whenever we asked her to videotape a certain tv show for us she would then bring the tape in to school the next day. She was such a sweet woman, so funny too. My brother called her Ms Panda because she was so sweet- like a big cuddly panda bear. She was like a female John Candy. Not to mention she looked like John Goodman which just made her even more lovable.

Carol:
We hated this one. Carol was THE worst helper in the whole class, her name was Carol Selling. She was just so damm scary. She looked like The Crypt Keeper from Tales From The Crypt and talked like Fran Drescher. No one could trust her because of her snarky attitude. She was like Simon Cowell most of the time, she would criticise our work on a regular basis, often calling it "rubbish" and saying that it's "absolutely awful" or "dreadful". She was extremely hard to please and her appearance and mannerisms in general were enough to give us nightmares for a month. My brother refered to her as Creature From The Bleccch Lagoon.

Petita:
This teacher was nice, she was like an angel. She was ever so kind and generous, and had a great amount of talent. She rarely got mad at anyone, and she was extremely sweet and friendly. She would give the whole class presents on some occassions and let us do our own thing. My brother's nickname for her was Lady Sunshine because she always knew how to brighten people's lives up.

Heidi:

This one had serious issues. Her name was Heidi Coetzee and she had more than a few screws loose. She seemed nice at first, but she was an obstructionist, she wouldn't let us listen to certain music or go on certain websites because she thought it was all "negative". She thought everything we did was "negative" and often complained about it. She was always so down in the dumps and bat f*** insane. My brother refered to her as The Loon. I think she needs to see a shrink or something because she is off her rocker- she's nuts. If she doesn't change her ways sooner or later she'll end up in the Cuckoo's nest.

Mrs Zupsitch:

The school principal. Margret Zupsitch was her name and she had to be the most hatest staff member in the whole school. She was such a tyrant. She was like Adolf Hitler. The rules she and the members of the school board made us obey were so bogus and not only that she was an megalomaniac. My brother and are I refered to her as The Wicked B***h Of The West. She should have changed her name to Mrs Bee-aytch.