Toys Gone Bad

Ever seen the Child's Play movies? Well me and my brother have had more than a few experiences with toys that were just like that. We're going to tell you what they were:

• In 1989, some neighbourhood kid got a set of Fireman Sam dolls for xmas. Now believe it or not I was absolutely terrified of Fireman Sam when I was a kid- sure he was a friendly fire fighter but I swore that he was actually an arsonist or serial killer (same goes for Postman Pat and Bob the Builder too). Anyway my best friend's little cousin Tazmin got a set of dolls of the main characters as a xmas present from her mother. I freaked out when I first saw them- there was something creepy about that one doll of Sam- the way it kept looking at me with that blank look in it's eyes. It was like something that crawled out of the uncanny valley. It was one of the scariest things I had ever seen. I couldn't bear to look at it- it was so frighteningly. In my eyes Fireman Sam was an utter creep, he and his eeeevil show made me afraid of fire for life (Curse you Fireman Sam, Curse You!) . It was only made worse when a guy dressed in a Fireman Sam mascot costume showed up at the school my brother and I went to when we were 12- the real life version of Sam was even creepier than the one on tv. I mean, it was THE most disturbing thing ever, he was behaving in a strange, creepy way. I'm not making this up. So, when our friend came over once for Thanksgiving we threw his cousin's Fireman Sam doll set over the fench and into our neighbour's yard (we also burned the various Fireman Sam merchandise my friend's little cousin had)- where some of them were ripped to shreds by the neighbour's dog Monstro. The week later, my best friend's mother found the dismembered Fireman Sam doll in the trash, it had an eye missing, an arm that looked like it was falling off and a chewed up hat. That's the last we ever saw of those creepy dolls.
  
  
• I went to a cousin's house one day and my cousin had this doll of The Grinch. It looked like the one from the cartoon and it had that smile on it's face. And everytime I walked past it I swore that it was watching me. That doll creeped the hell out of me. I told my mom about it and she asked my cousin's mom if they could hide the Grinch doll someplace where it wouldn't bother me so she put it in the basement. A couple of hours later I turn around and I see the doll right in the place it was before she put it in the basement which was really spooky. They finally got rid of that doll in the end, they sold it on Ebay. I would have liked it more if it was the Jim Carrey version of the grinch instead of the cartoon one.
  
  
• My brother had a similar experience with a Barney the Dinosaur plush doll once, I can't remember it all but my brother will be more than happy to tell you what happened. The person who owned it decided to get rid of it by giving it away to some less fortunate sap. Good thing too because that thing creeped me out to the max, it kept singing "I love youuu, you looove me, we're a happy family" over and over again- and at random too, it was just so creepy.
  
• In late summer 1999 we got ourselves a Furbie, he was a black one- we called him Drake. The good things about him was that he was a cute as the dickens, the bad thing about him was that he kept driving us batty all day and night with the noises he kept making- he kept demanding attention twenty four seven. We got so fed up with him that we decided to put him in the garage. Now here comes the really scary part, a couple of weeks later when we went to the garage to get some tools and all of a sudden we heard this really scary sounding noise- it was kind of a growling sound and it was coming behind from one of the boxes and it went kind of like this.."Ooo wwaaa, urrrr". My brother then turned around and saw that Furby...now you've heard the stories of Furbies acting balisitic but our one Drake was absolutely animalistic and not too mention bat f***k insane, almost like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. It was a nightmare come true. So we tried numerous attempts to destroy it even taking out it's batteries but the thing just wouldn't die. Eventually we decide to send him to our arch nemesis Stefanie as revenge for the many times she turned some of our friends against us. We are currently on the search for the Gizmo Furby.
  

Our first toy inventions were a singing koala named Matilda, a sheep named Charlene and a black cat named Cleopatra. When you pressed Matilda's paws the tune of Waltzin Matilda would play, when you gave Bobby a squeeze he had let out a soft bleating sound and when you squeezed the cat she would let out a cute meowing sound. Those three were invented in 1991 and they worked just fine. We played with them for 5 years then forgot about them. Then in 2001 we decided to get them out again to see if they still worked, but when we did...the tune that came out of Matilda wasn't cheerie like it was in 1991, it sounded warped and kind of like a ironic nursery ryme like the ones who hear it films like Poultergeist, the sheep sounded like someone getting hacked to death, and the cat's meow was now deepened and quite demonic, almost like the growl of the wolf from American Werewolf In London. We didn't get rid of them though- we kept them despite their malfunctions.

We made copies of Matilda, Bobby and Cleo. You might be able to find them in second hand stores, they're quite valuable. Not only are they cute but they're good for scaring away intruders with- plus Cleo has light up eyes.