Recalled Toys

We are quite good at toymaking. However there are some toys of us which weren't quite right and here's what they are:

• Eric Cartman Mushabelly. A Mushabelly version of Eric Cartman from the popular cartoon South Park. Says such lines as "Screw you guys i'm going home" "I'm not fat i'm big boned!" and "Shut the hell up, hippie!". This one got recalled after it malfunctioned and went beserk.
• Audrey II Mushabelly. A Mushabelly version of the bloodsucking alien plant from Little Shop Of Horrors, says "Feeeed me" when you squeeze him. The problem with this one is that it kept demanding blood. It got recalled after numerous deaths were reported the day after.
• Chazzie The Chameleon Mushabelly. This mushabelly reptile changed colours and stuck out it's tongue like Gene Simmons of KISS fame. Something went wrong causing it to become intangible at random. Got recalled after it became almost impossible to find.
• The "Raise The Dead" Kit. This kit came with all the things needed to raise the dead. Worked great but got complaints from parents about their kids becoming future necromancers. Got recalled after a zombie epidemic was caused because of it.
• Full Mouth Ladybug. This was one of the Not-So-Nice Ladybug plush dolls. This one shouted out things like "Go to hell!" "Die motherf******r!" and "Kiss my a****!". Got recalled after people complained about it's overuse of profanity.
• Tasty the Mushabelly you could eat. An edible mushabelly made to look like the mushabelly ladybug and you could eat it- but the problem was that it had a really weird taste which was later revealed to be a combination of cough syrup, old cabbage, toothpaste and toilet water. Got recalled because of this. There was also a version of this one called Yum Yum which was made to taste like candy however this became problem as kids tried to crack it open like a pinata.
• Strip Tease Barbie. This barbie was modelled on Anna Nicole Smith. You could remove the clothes off this one. However this one caused a quite bit of controversy. Got recalled after the FCC complained about the nudity and overall sexual tones.
• The Lil Sadist kit. This kit contained various torture devices and other things you could use to cause pain to your enemies, also contained various deathraps and was inspired by the movie Nothing But Trouble starring Dan Akyroyd, Chevy Chase, Demi Moore and John Candy. Got recalled after someone got decaptitated thanks to one of the torture devies.
• The Let's-Talk-Friendly- Lady the Ladybug doll. This cute little ladybug toy worked great, it was supposed to say stuff like "Let's be pals!", "Shopping is fun!" and "Anyone for a makeover?'" but thanks to a mistake on my brother's half it's computer chip got swapped with the one from the Yapp-O-Matic Hitler Doll (another recalled toy) and the doll ended up saying "Hail Hitler!" while the Hitler ended up saying "I like to have tea parties, how about you?".
• Fatso Ladybug. This was another one of the Not-So-Nice Ladybug range, this was a morbiddly overweight ladybug made to resemble John Belushi's character from Animal House. It held a can of root beer in one hand and a bag of potato chips in the other. Said stuff like "fat is rad" and "i'm the big bug now!" and also danced to Milkshake by Kelis. Got recalled after several dads complained about it being too similar to the fat, bumbling dad character types you see on sitcoms.
• Backstabber Ladybug. This is the least popular one of the Not-So-Nice Ladybug range. This one would often pretend to act like it's your best friend in the whole world and said stuff like "You're my best pal in the whole world" but then plans to betray you when you're not looking and then eventually betrays you and says "I would like to say it was nice knowing you but it wasn't." Got recalled after it broke way too many hearts.
• Hero Gotchi/Villain Gotchi. These two tamagotchis if treated with enough care could turn into any superhero or supervillain. The problem with this that if the Hero one got treated badly it would turn into The Incredible Hulk, the villain one on the other hand turns into an evil criminal mastermind bent on world domination if treated badly. Got recalled after the Hero one turned into Spawn and the Villain one became Violator and there was a violent battle between the two of them.
• Monster Pals. These were similar to the Gremlins style toys we made a while back. These were basically electronic plush animals you were supposed to take care of and had the same basic set of rules the Gremlins had. Got recalled after an incident where they came to life in the middle of the night, raided the fridge, ate some food, turned into creepy, manic, snarling, drooling monsters and ran amuck.
• Sadist Ladybug. Another one of the Not-So Nice Ladybug range. When squeezed he would say things like "Do you want a knuckle sandwich?" "Pain is my middle name" , "Your anguish substains me" and "seeing you get hurt makes me smile". Got recalled after it convinced people to hurt eachother in a very brutal manner for it's own amusement.
• Manic Depressive Ladybug. This one was one of the more popular ones in the Not-So-Nice Ladybug range. When squeezed it would say things like "Why are people so cruel?" "I hate happiness" "I wish I was anywhere but here" and "Please kill me". Got recalled after it tried to commit sucidie like Kurt Cobain.
• Serial Killer Ladybug. This was the most creepy and dangerous one of the Not-So-Nice Ladybug range. Wore a Freddy Krueger hat, a Ben Willis coat and hook hand, when squeezed it said such terrifying things as "I know what you did" "die", "Your time has come" and "I'm going to kill you" . Got recalled after people kept getting killed because of it.
• Electronic Plush Audrey II and Brain Eating Rock (version 1)- these were the original versions of the bloodsucking plant and the brain eating rock. These toys demanded blood and brains and got recalled after several deaths were reported because of them.
• The Nothing But Trouble Build-Your-Own Deathtrap Kit. This kit was inspired by the movie Nothing But Trouble and allowed the user to build their own creepy deathtraps like the ones used by the judge from the film, got recalled after someone got one of their arms cut-off by one of the machines.
• Overly Cruel Ladybug. This is the most insulting one of the Not-So-Nice Ladybug range. When squeezed it says Simon Cowellish insults such as "Oh god that was terrible", "That was without a doubt the worst thing I have ever had the misfortune of seeing" "That was appauling" and "that was absolutely gastly". Got recalled after people complained about it being too rude.
• Moaning and Crybaby Ladybug. These were the last two in the set. When squeezed the moaning one says "Aaaw, do I have to?" , "I hate my life" , "I'm bored", "Aaaw man" and complains and moans while the crybaby one said "Stop it! You're hurting me!" "Leave me alone" "WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO ME?" , "I hate you!" , "Go away!" and sobs and cries a lot. Got recalled after they became too much for parents to handle.
• Drunken Ladybug. This one was one of the rarest ones in the set. It held a can of beer in one of it's hands. When squeezed it said "Man, that's good beer" "Did you ever hear of that blue man group? Total rip off of the Smurfs!" , "Oh yeah that hits the spot" , "And another thing....why does it take forever for a woman to deide on what to wear?" and "Aaaw. Come on, dance for me." in a drunken manner, it also belched loudly. Got recalled after it said something rather cheeky when a woman walked past in it in a toy shop.
• Stoner Ladybug. This ladybug is the rarest in the set. It's dressed like a hippy, carries a bong and a cigar in the other. When squeezed it says "Woah man, I see colours" "That is totallly groovy", "I am the walrus. Goo goo gachoo" and "Wow. That was awesome!". Got recalled after someone discovered that there was real tabacco in the cigar.

If you're real lucky you can still find them in second hand toy stores and at yard sales.