Cassie

Cassie is a female canadian forest werejohncandy, and has many things in common with Chumsley including the same interests.




She is 300lbs of fat, fur and cuteness. She's got brownish fur, claws, small cute fangs, pointed ears, a mane, glowing emerald green eyes, bushy eyebrows, a big round furry tummy, and a black nose. She pretty much resembles Chumsley in lots of ways except for her red lips and eyelashes. She sometimes wears a floral blouse, a dark blue skirt and purple or red shoes which are ripped from the first transformation she underwent. She often wears a flower in her long mane of hair.



She has all the same powers as Chumsley and is also a great cook, gardener and den mother. Much like Chumsley she has 27 relatives.



Her story of origin is that she was once a girl named Katie Lee who was a big fan of the children's show Chumsley's Clubhouse, who by chance won the contest and winded up in The Happy Valley and found herself turning into the werejohncandy everybody knows her as today.



She is now Chumsley's girlfriend and the two are often seen together.



She is every bit as lovable as Chumsley except that she's a little bit shy at times. Lots of different creatures visit her garden including a dragon named Smokestack Sam who coincidentally is a character that John Candy is/was supposed to be the voice of in The Magic 7.

Cable Guy poem

This is a poem based on one of my favourite films The Cable Guy starring Jim Carrey.

It's half past four in the afternoon.
I'm supposed to have my cable tv installed.
But where's the cable guy?
He better not be late..
There's a knocking at the door..
I think that must be him..

Finally he's arrived.
Seems like a nice guy..
Says his name is Chip..
His mannerisms are kind of strange..
And so is that lisp of his..

Sounds like he knows a lot about tv..
Says he's been raised by it.
He installs my free cable..
Says he wants me to be his friend..

But i am not to sure about this..
He does seem kind of strange..
But I guess he's nice..
He installed my free cable.

So I say why not?
So I pal around with him for a while..
Have a karoake party, take part in a joust.
My other friends think there's something spooky about him..
Is he demented or insane or is he just lonely?

Who knows...
But he sure creeps the hell out of me and my friends..
He hires some hooker to make out with me and takes a picture of it happening..
Then sends it to my girlfriend, who gets mighty pissed off..

Then he begins to take over my life..
He follows me around, stalking me in hopes that i'll be his pal.
My friend calls me in the middle of the night - they tell me the scary truth about him.
They say he got fired from the company because of his evil tendencies..
They say he's like a demon from hell..
They say I should baracade the doors and shut the windows..
So that he won't be able to get in..

I fall asleep in front of the tv while watching the trial of a former child star.
Chip appears in my nightmare - coming after me..
He tries to knock the door down several times..
Then when he succeeds he appears all spooky-like..
Growls and shouts..."I JUST WANT TO HANG OUT...NO BIG DEAAAAL!"
His eyes are an eerie glowing yellowish like those of a werewolf or grinch.
I run as fast as I can from him but he keeps chasing me like a savage beast..
And when I think i've lost him... he pounces on me like a tiger does to it's prey..
I wake up from this nightmare with a scream and a cold sweat..

My friends were right...
Chip isn't normal..
He's not like other cable guys at all..
He's insane, he's creepy, he's a down right psycho.
He is really really really sinister..
And his lisp sounds so creepy over the phone..

Whatever shall I do?
Wherever I go, he's always there..
He's always following me and stalking me..
He's like some kind of demon in the night..

Oh Chip, why do you do this to me?
Look, you're a cool guy and all
But I don't think I want you as a friend.
Please don't take it personally...
You just creep me out.
You're insane, you're deranged..
I don't think we can be friends..
So please just leave me alone..
We're not friends anymore..
Leave me be.

And who gave you the right to take over my life?
Who gave you the right to scare my friends?
Who gave you the right to take my girlfriend?
Who gave you the right to stalk me?

I don't understand it.

My friends were right when they warned me about you..
You're not normal, in fact you act like you're possessed.
They say that Chip is not as nice as he seems..
They warned me beware of that creepy cable guy..

And you are that creepy cable guy.

Chip, please leave me alone.


When Chip captures my girlfriend, that's crossing the line.
He takes it her to the radio tower.
When I get there...
I see that he's clearly lost it..
He's at his absolute worst..
He's evil alright.
I try to reason with him..
But he's just downright insane.

I tell him that he went too far and that i want him out of my life..
Chip gets emotional..
He then makes a sacrifice by jumping off the tower..
But he doesn't die..
In fact a helicopter rescues him..
The pilot says that it's okay and calls him his buddy..
He asks.."Am I really your buddy?"
The pilot says.."Sure".
And then Chip gives him a really devious evil look.

Is the terror over?
Not by a long shot.
So next time you want to have cable installed..
Don't call Chip..
If you do you'll regret it..
And you'll never live to see tommorow.
Beware of Chip Douglas.
Beware of the horror which he'll bring to your home.
That is the terror of the Cable Guy..
Beware.
The terror of the cable guy..
Beware of the cable guy..
Beware of Chip.

Be afraid, be very afraid.
Of the terror of the cable guy.
Be afraid, be very afraid.

Human characters

These are the human characters in my closet monster series

Nathan "Dr Music" Forester




My character, he is a scientist by day and a superhero by night - while he may seem childish and a bit of a goof-off he is actually quite smart and noble. For years he has had a deep love of monsters. He has the sacred key to the monster world portal which is located in his closet - he has two gangs of monsters who serve as his protectors - the closet monster gang and the attic monster gang. He can also channel the powers of the monsters of those two gangs. When merged with Toxin the symbiote he becomes a being known as the Dark M and when merged with Monstro he becomes Monster M.



Sampson



My brother's character, he is Nathan's brother who is rarely seen but is pretty badass especially when he's fighting. Sampson gets his name from the biblical hero with the long hair and super strength.



Jack Forester



My character's father, he is an adventurer who is a lot like Bruce Campbell with a bit of James Bond and Indiana Jones thrown in. He's always going on adventures around the world and collecting ancient treasures. He's based on my own dad.



Charlene Forester



My character's mother, she is a scientist who specialises in genetics and resembles the character Lara Croft, she often occompanies Jack on his adventures. Based on my own mother by the way.



Andria



Andria Kilgor's character, a kind hearted, fun loving, inteligent red haired woman who finds Nathan to be a very interesting person. She likes movies especially John Candy movies, and she has a fondness for vintage vehicles and alchol. Andria the Na'vi of the attic monster gang is named after her. Her monster world form is said to be some sort of cat woman. She is the only one who knows about Nathan's secret.



Natalia



Nathan's cousin who happens to be a singer, she is also said to be somewhat of a spellcaster. She specialises in enchantment magic.



Darwin Chance



A stand up comedian who is one of Nathan's partners in crime. Darwin also loves monsters. His monster world form is said to be some sort of grinch-like creature.



Professor Ozmodius



A fellow scientist and mentor to Nathan, he is rarely seen in public but he is very wise and all knowing. He also has a portal to the monster world which he can easily access via a stargate. His monster world form is said to be a powerful sorcerer known as the Master Of Oz.

Special powers

If i  was in a game liek Super Smash bros i would have 6 sets of unique types of moves. The first set was a phsyical set, the second is a Channeling set, the third is transformation based, the fourth is special summoning moves, the fifth is TVTropes based moves, and the sixth one is Special moves (i.e finishing moves and others)


Physical moves and abilities:




1. Power Punch.



2. Flying Karate Kid Kick.



3. Chinkiller (where I develop Jay Leno's chin and use it to ram the opponent)



4. Berserker Joe Swipe.



5. Ninja Flip.







Special "Channeling" moves and abilities:



1. Moonwalk (where I channel Michael Jackson and develop his voice and dance moves)



2. Worst Nightmare (I channel Freddy Krueger and develop his powers and sport a clawed glove)



3. Hail To The King (I channel Bruce Campbell, develop his lantern jaw of justice and sport a chainsaw arm and use a boomstick)



4. Uncle Buck Special (channel John Candy, develop his voice, and sport an Uncle Buck outfit, hat, and wield an electric drill)



5. Dance Magic (channel Jareth the goblin king, develop magic powers)



6. Lead with your chin (channels Jay Leno, develops his voice, mannerisms and chin)



7. Carrey On (channels Jim Carrey, and starts taking on Jim's mannerisms)











Transformation based moves and abilities:







1. Animal morph (feline) - allows me to morph into any sort of feline.



2. Animal morph (fish) - used for underwater battles, allows me to morph into any sort of fish.



3. Creature morph (Gargoyle) - allows me to turn into a gargoyle - including some of the ones from the Disney cartoon.



4. Creature morph (Superghoul) - allows me to morph into a superghoul like MJ in Ghosts - also enabling me to posesss my opponents.



5. Creature morph (Grinch) - take on the form of a Jim Carrey movie style grinch.



6. John Candify - turns into John Candy or one of his characters.



7. Mask Of Carrey - allows me to turn into Jim Carrey or one of his characters.



8. Creature morph (Werejohncandy) - allows me to turn into a big werejc.



9. Fist Full Of Boomstick - turns into Bruce Campbell.



10. Creature Morph (Tim Burtonesque demon) - turns me into a Tim Burtonesque creature.







Special "Summoning" moves and abilities:







1. Werejohncandy roar - summons Chumsley and Cassie.



2. Michael Jackson yell - summons the ghost of MJ.



3. Dance Of The Deviant - summons Deviantart mascot Fella (who uses a series of art based special moves including Paint Ball Bomb).



4. Goblin King Wish - Summons Jareth.



5. Magic Word - summons Superted.



6. The Bruce Cube - summons Bruce Campbell.



7. Jim In The Box - summons Jim Carrey.



8. Gargoyle Gather - summons the Manhattan Clan from Disney's Gargoyles.



9. Cool Runnings Chant - summons a Jamaica bobsled team and the ghost of John Candy.



10. Call Of The Steagle - Summons Stephen Colbert and Stephen Jr.







TVTropes based moves:







1. Nightmare Fuel - a big scary looking computer generated face floats around the opponent cooing in a sinister ghostly voice "You're not perfect" like the one from Courage the cowardly dog. Scares the opponent for the first three rounds.



2. High Octane Nightmare Fuel - a more powerful variation which involves summoning Eight Armed Willy and Candy Wife from The Marvelous Misadventures Of Flapjack.



3. Painful Transformation - can be used for dramatic effect or played for laughs near the beginning of a battle.



4. Transformation Trauma - can be used on the opponent to make THEM painfully transform into something they hate.



5. Body Horror - enables me to posess my opponents and also cause David Cronenberg style mutatations to happen to their bodies.



6. Baleful Polymorph - turns the opponent into a toad, rat, or worm.



7. Demon Head - enables me to scare the opponent with a really terrifying face ala Beetlejuice or Large Marge.



8. All Scaled Up - turns me into a kickass firebreathing lizard man.



9. One Winged Angel - I turn into a big powerful demon or similar creature, can be used near the end of a big battle.



10. Shapeshifting Squick - allows me to assume the form of Carmen Electra to attract opponents of the male gender - then squick them out by turning into some kind of swamp creature as they try to kiss me while in the form of Carmen.







Special moves:



1. Soul Stealer - enables me to steal the opponent's soul.



2. Flaming Death - enables me to set the opponent on fire.



3. Stars and Stripes - a superpowerful all american laser beam.



4. Omega Blast - a powerful sonic blast that sends the opponent flying.



5. Cartoonify - a move that allows me to turn my opponent into a cartoon version of themselves, then I use various looney toon style moves to dispose of them including anvils and a giant eraser.



6. Cuddle Buddy Hug - I turn into a big werejohncandy and give my opponent a big bear hug - crushing them.

Monster me

Here is what i'd be like if i was a house monster at Hillhurst.



My Hillhurst monster character is named Nathan Talbut who is a weregrinch, his nicknames are Nate and The Grinchman. His house monster nickname is Growler.




In his human form he is a 38 year old man with long straight brown hair, a goatee, and brownish eyes - he wears a black shirt with dark red stripes and jeans to match them as well as a pair of black shoes.



He is very mysterious and intelligent but also quite naive and is quite shy. In his weregrinch form he is rather wild and savage.



In his weregrinch form he looks like the grinch from the movie version of How The Grinch Stole Christmas except he doesn't have the termite infested grin or sean connery accent - he's covered in green fur, has sharp black clawed fingernails and toenails, long wild hair, fangs, a black nose and a rather grinch-like muzzle as well as glowing yellowish eyes, bushy eyebrows and pointy ears. He also still is able to retain his humanity and intelligence when in grinch form although he has a deeper more menacing slightly demonic sounding voice as well.



His normal human form day job is that he's a scientist.



The story of how he became who he is starts off with him on a trip to Universal Studios and getting bitten on the left arm by Jim Carrey who is the original weregrinch. Flabber offered to cure him but he declined - saying that he likes the idea of being a grinch especially a weregrinch. Especially seeing as his weregrinch form has very keen senses and a variety of grinch-like powers including enhanced speed and stealth and also super strength (in both his human form and his weregrinch form he is even stronger than Frankenbeans and is considered to be even stronger than Jo)



His transformations into a weregrinch are usually very painful and scary at first but over time he has gotten used to it - the first time he did it was involuntarily. He can shift between human and weregrinch form at will but he will transform involuntarily under the light of the full moon or around the christmas season even before or after it, he also transforms if he enters the monster realm.


Sometimes his grinch-like urges get the best of him such as when he aquires a taste for garbage which is a common thing grinches eat. One of the running jokes is that he constantly fights with Wolfie. He lives up in the guest bedroom at Hillhurst which he has converted into his own grinch lair.
 

My kind of comedy

When it comes to comedy movies I like retro comedy from the 70's, 80's, 90's as well as ones in the 00 era, among my favourite comedians are John Belushi, Chris Farley, John Candy, Richard Pryor, Rodney Dangerfield, Sam Kiniston, Andy Kaufman, George Carlin, Robin Williams and Jerry Seinfeld, as well as Dan Akyroyd, Eugene Levy, any and all members of the Hollywood frat pack, Johnny Carson, Jim Carrey and Eddie Murphy - we also love British comedians such as John Cleese, Rowan Atkinson (BlackAdder was one of the most clever shows on tv, not to mention so many memorable lines), Hugh Laurie (Yes, he's British) and Eddie Izzard.

Also I'm a proud Monty Python fan, i've seen Meaning Of Life, Life Of Brian and The Holy Grail - I find them all to be very entertaining and funny. The killer bunny scene and the two headed giant are my favourite parts of Monty Python and The Holy Grail, as for my favourite bit in Meaning Of Life i'd have to say it is the scene with Mr Creosote the exploding fat guy.


I also heavily enjoy the work of Jeff Dunham - his wacky puppet characters are extremely fun to watch, my favourites are Achmed, Walter, Bubba J, Peanut and Melvin.


I also love South Park and The Simpsons as well as Family Guy and Robot Chicken, i also am a huge fan of the series Celebrity Deathmatch.


I love good original comedies with heart and lots of good humour, but I do adore Jim Carrey movies especially Ace Ventura, Liar Liar, The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, Once Bitten, The Grinch, Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events, Yes Man, and Bruce Almighty - I also love his more serious films like The Cable Guy and The Number 23.



I also love dark comedies like Beetlejuice and Nothing But Trouble - which by the way is actually not as bad as the critics said it is - it actually is balls out funny. Dan Akyroyd directs it and also plays two roles in it - also starring in it are Chevy Chase , Demi Moore and John Candy who plays two characters in it as well.


Now i'm not much into political humour but I do really enjoy watching The Daily Show With John Stewart and The Colbert Report. I think Stephen is a good role model for anyone even if they're not from the USA.



I do like the Tonight Show and while I am sort of a fan of Leno's, I do find that some of his jokes aimed towards other celebrities can be a little offensive especially the ones he made about Michael Jackson (including that fake interview he did). And also I do think that late comedian Bill Hicks was right about Jay when he made fun of him in his Artistic Roll Call routine.


I also adore the Evil Dead trilogy - the first one was a horror, the second one was a horror comedy and the third one was a horror/comedy/action film. There are so many reasons why I love these movies but the one reason i love it so much is because of Bruce Campbell - I mean who doesn't love that guy? I love all the 3 Stooges homages in Army Of Darkness. Ash has got all the best oneliners in that movie. My favourite scenes including the scene with the mini Ashes, the skeleton arms scene and the creation of Evil Ash. Gotta love the dance that Evil Ash does when he's taunting the good Ash by singing.."Little goody two shoes, little goody two shoes."
 
 

Attic monsters

I also have a crew of monsters who live in my attic as well and i'm going to introduce you to them.

• Sparky (a gremlin)
• Alana (a witch who looks like Elvira)
• J.P Bones (a 106 year old ghoul who is a lot like Dan Akyroyd as J.P Alvin Valkanheiser in Nothing But Trouble)
• Chumsley  (a canadian forest werejohncandy)
• Cassie (same,  except she used to be a girl named Katie Lee)
• Andria (a Na'vi)
• Hugo (a hunchback)
• Rocho (a Jabba the hutt-like creature)
• Vincent (a rebellious vampire who resembles a young Jay Leno)
• Dustman (a Sandman-like being who makes things all dusty)
• Hargilotti (the ghost of a famous opera star)
• Roscoe and Albert (two gargoyles who review movies and are based on Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert)
• Georgie (A King Kong-like creature with super strength and a big heart)
• Tyranitor (A godzilla-like creature with atomic breath)
• Gorvax (a chestbuster alien)
• Syvor (a Predator-like being)
• Bobby (a shapeshifting blob)

Don't worry most of these are friendly too.   But you might want to be careful around Gorvax - he has a nasty habit of bursting out of people's chests -  but he can't help,  he's a chestburster - that's his job.

Closet monster crew

I've got quite a crew of monsters who live in my closet,  and i'm going to tell you about them.

• Ted (A Freddy Krueger-like character)
• Jasey (A Jason Voorhees-like character)
• Scare Bear (A possessed teddy bear and parody of Chucky from Child's Play)
• Grincherella (a shegrinch who looks like Carmen Electra when in human form)
• Zombo (A smart, wise cracking zombie who looks like Griffin Dune in American Werewolf In London)
• Jeff (a Brundlefly-like human/fly hybrid except much better looking)
• Edgar (a tim burtonesque creature, his human form looks like Johnny Depp)
• Sarah (his girlfriend,  a Corpse Bride-like character)
• Sebastian (my one, a suave demon who appears in the form of a well dressed gentleman and is also an attourney)
• Cleo (an egpytian mummy who is also a queen)
• Bunyip (a super strong blue koala-like creature with a faux british accent and a high iq)
• Presto (a phasm)
• Mitchell (a spellcaster who is a lot like Michael Jackson as the Maestro in Ghosts,  right down to looking and sounding like him - also has all the same powers)
• Jack (A werewolf who is a lot like Jack Nicholson)
• Bruce (the only non monster,  he is a demigod who resembles Ash from the Evil Dead films)

Now most of them are friendly except for Scare Bear who on some occassion might try to kill someone but that's only because he's a possessed teddy.

Bunyip

I'd like to introduce to a member of my closet monster gang,  his name is Bunyip.

He is the strongest and the smartes member of the group.




He is a super strong koala-like creature who despite his brawny appearance is actually rather intelligent and refined. He speaks with a faux British accent



He has bluish fur with red stripes. He likes to play chess and read fine literature, he also loves British comedy such as Blackadder and Monty Python. He is a fan of comedian Eddie Izzard.



He drinks tea and one of his hobbies is writing novels. He serves as the voice of reason in the group.



He loves the show Whose Line Is It Anyway and often takes part in Nathan's own version of it which involves his fellow closet monster gang members.



He has a younger brother named Sidney who is a bit of an idiot, Sidney's favourite things including pickles, oranges, and other things. Sidney rarely thinks at all, and when it usually looks like he does - he's just usually staring blankly into space. He usually gets in the way and is a tad accident prone and also deaf.

Jim Carrey's website

Have you checked out Jim Carrey's official website?  We have and it's a wonderfully dark and twisted one.  It's got lots of cool animations and stuff.   We heavily reccomend checking that place out.

http://www.jimcarrey.com/

I think that you'd love it as it as a very interesting site.    Plus if you're a fan of Jim Carrey you'd love it as much as we did when we visited it.

It's got a lot of cool stuff on there,  very clever animations too.

I heavily reccomend visiting that site if you have the chance.

Magic 7

This topic is about the movie The Magic 7. Now the Magic 7 is an upcoming made for tv animation live action hybrid fantasy movie that has been in development hell since the 1990s.










Now this movie is said to have a stella cast including quite a few well known actors and actressess including Michael J. Fox, Jeremy Irons and James Earl Jones (Darth Vader for you Star Wars fans out there and Mufassa for those Disney fans).


Now two of the voice cast members are deceased but recorded the voice for their respective characters in the early 90's and those two are Madeline Kahn and John Candy.


Madeline Kahn's character is named Wastra, now I don't have any idea on what she looks like, but i'm guessing she must be some kind of sorceress. I'm guessing she looks like a cross between Malecifent from Sleeping Beauty and Queen Narrissa from Enchanted except that she probably isn't evil.


As for John Candy's character, I think that Smokestack Sam is either somekind of dragon or a cross between Genie from Aladdin and Sulley from Monsters Inc. Because that seems like the kind of character John would do the voice for considering he did work in animation before, he supplied some character voices in the animated sci fi film Heavy Metal, was the voice of Wilbur the albtratross in Rescuers Down Under and voiced himself in his own cartoon series Camp Candy. I also read somewhere that he was considered for the voice of Genie in Aladdin and coincidentally so was Steve Martin, and both of them were in Planes, Trains and Automobiles. He also recorded several voice drafts for a character in Pocahontas - a turkey named Redfeather to be exact. Now Redfeather was supposed to be Pocahontas's sidekick and the comic relief. But when he died, the character got removed and replaced with Meeko and Flit.



You can find a clip of a very early pencil test of the character Redfeather which also has Percy (Governor Ratcliffe's pet dog) talking as well. Many of the lines Redfeather says are taken from John's character in Planes, Trains and Automobiles.


Now if my estimations are correct, I think that John's voice may have been removed from the final cut of the movie The Magic 7 either that or the producers are planning on replacing him. If so, I hope that they get Tino Insana to voice the character as he is a John Candy soundalike, in fact quite a few of the characters he voices are a lot like JC, including Uncle Jojo in Pepper Ann, Pig from Back At The Barnyard, and Ted from Bobby's World. So naturally he would be the right choice to take over voice duties for that particular character. Also he could voice Chumsley the werejohncandy if i were to make my closet  monster stories into a tv series or movie.

Back in the saddle

I have reactivated the comments on my blog so you may catch up on the entries that you have missed during the time i had it in the "Team members only" mode.

Remember no trolling,  if  i see any comments that offend me i will deleted them.   And that includes Rents and Airdna.

Who is Smokestack Sam?

This topic is about the movie The Magic 7. Now the Magic 7 is an upcoming made for tv animation live action hybrid fantasy movie that has been in development hell since the 1990s.




Now this movie is said to have a stella cast including quite a few well known actors and actressess including Michael J. Fox, Jeremy Irons and James Earl Jones (Darth Vader for you Star Wars fans out there and Mufassa for those Disney fans).



Now two of the voice cast members are deceased but recorded the voice for their respective characters in the early 90's and those two are Madeline Kahn and John Candy.



Madeline Kahn's character is named Wastra, now I don't have any idea on what she looks like, but i'm guessing she must be some kind of sorceress. I'm guessing she looks like a cross between Malecifent from Sleeping Beauty and Queen Narrissa from Enchanted except that she probably isn't evil.



As for John Candy's character, I think that Smokestack Sam is either somekind of dragon or a cross between Genie from Aladdin and Sulley from Monsters Inc. Because that seems like the kind of character John would do the voice for considering he did work in animation before, he supplied some character voices in the animated sci fi film Heavy Metal, was the voice of Wilbur the albtratross in Rescuers Down Under and voiced himself in his own cartoon series Camp Candy. I also read somewhere that he was considered for the voice of Genie in Aladdin and coincidentally so was Steve Martin, and both of them were in Planes, Trains and Automobiles. He also recorded several voice drafts for a character in Pocahontas - a turkey named Redfeather to be exact. Now Redfeather was supposed to be Pocahontas's sidekick and the comic relief. But when he died, the character got removed and replaced with Meeko and Flit.



You can find a clip of a very early pencil test of the character Redfeather which also has Percy (Governor Ratcliffe's pet dog) talking as well. Many of the lines Redfeather says are taken from John's character in Planes, Trains and Automobiles.


Now if my estimations are correct, I think that John's voice may have been removed from the final cut of the movie The Magic 7 either that or the producers are planning on replacing him. If so, I hope that they get Tino Insana to voice the character as he is a John Candy soundalike, in fact quite a few of the characters he voices are a lot like JC, including Uncle Jojo in Pepper Ann, Pig from Back At The Barnyard, and Ted from Bobby's World. So naturally he would be the right choice to take over voice duties for that particular character. Also he could voice Chumsley the werejohncandy if i were to make my closetm monster stories into a tv series or movie.

Monsters

Some of you may not know this but there's a gang of monsters who live in my closet, they are the closet monster gang. They are a wonderful bunch, and don't worry they won't hurt you or try to eat you or anything - okay Scare Bear may try to kill you and that's only because he's a posessed teddy bear.





There's also a group of monsters who live in my attic as well including a few aliens, one of them is a Na'vi who is named after my friend Andria. There's also a vampire who looks like a young Jay Leno, his name is Vincent and he's a rebellious biker vampire. He doesn't like it when people mistake him for Jay though.



Chumsley and Cassie are also in the attic monster gang - and are now boyfriend and girlfriend. Both of them have 27 relatives. Chumsley's personality is a composite of some of John Candy's best characters - and as an extra homage to the man, his uncle is named after the title character from the movie Uncle Buck.



And if you hate people like Rents as much as I do then you'll love to read my Tales From The Web story series which is inspired by Tales From The Crypt and has pesky online trolls and other online scum getting their just desserts - with a transformation themed twist. In one of my recent ones Airdna who is my friend Andria's evil counterpart gets what coming to her after comedian Jim Carrey pays her a visit and grinches her up.

Werecat mj

We hope that you will enjoy this Michael Jackson tribute poem,  it pays homage to Thriller.


When the full moon is up in the sky.
That's where Michael can be found.
He is a werecat, always on the prowl.
But don't be frightened, he just wants to play.



With his yellow cat eyes, whiskers, claws and fur.
He is ever so playful and nice.
He wouldn't hurt a fly.
A most lovable werecat indeed.

When the full moon arrises..
MJ transforms into a slinky feline.
Just like the hero from that show Manimal.
Because he's a werecat.



He loves to explore, he loves to play.
Such a playful werecat.
Likes to play around.
He brings joy wherever he goes.



He's ever so merry and cuddly.
Wouldn't  hurt a fly.
Michael the werecat is oh so cute.
Prowling around all night long.



Michael the werecat is ever so friendly.
Wouldn't hurt a fly.
Wild, but can easily be tamed.
Yowling, hissing and purring.
His cat eyes darting back and fourth.
His fur shimmering so brightly in the moonlight.
He's prowling around looking for some fun.
But he's not scary, he's rather cute.



Michael the werecat loves to play.
Such a jokester, but oh so sweet.
He may look like a monstrous beast.
But don't be frightened, he just wants to play.

The Vow

There was a man named Brian Sloane, now Brian was a scientist much like Nathan except the experiments he did were twisted and he experimented on animals. He often went by the nickname Dr Madness.




He was always trying to beat Nathan at the science fair, sometimes cheating. He would also attempt to steal his inventions and claim them as his own.



He was saved one night from legal trouble by a mysterious shegrinch known as Grincherella, but she made him promise not to tell a single person about the existance of the closet monster gang.



Unfortunately he wasn't too good at keeping secrets and pretty soon he started to tell people about the closet monster gang's existance.



Then one night, Grincherella paid him a visit, and she didn't look happy.



"I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL!" She growled.



"I know, but it was too good a secret to keep to myself." He responded, scared.



"I made you promise not to tell anyone. But it looks you didn't keep that promise at all, did you?" She snarled.



"Uh...I didn't mean to I swear." He cried.



"You promised you'd never tell. You promised!" She yelled.



She then started to change, her eyes glowing an eerie yellowish colour, green fur sprouting all over her body, fingernails and toenails becoming long black claws, her eyebrows become bushy, her hair growing long and wild, her canines turning into fangs and her features slowly become grinch-like.



"You idiot! You promised you'd never tell." She snarled in a demonic sounding voice.



Her nose turned black and moved upwards as a more semi grinch-like muzzle formed on her face.



"I didn't mean to. Please don't hurt me!" Brian begged.



She grabbed Brian, and scratched him on the shoulder with her claws.



Brian felt very strange as he himself started to change, his eyes turning an eerie yellowish colour, green fur started to sprout all over his body, his fingernails and toenails growing into long black sharp claws..



"Oh no. I'm changing." He cried.



His hair started growing long and wild as his eyebrows went bushy, his canine teeth growing into fangs, and his features slowly becoming more grinch-like.



"No i'm turning into a grinch. Please stop." He begged.



His nose turned black and moved upwards as a more grinch-like muzzle formed on his face.



"No- no-no, stop. I don't want to be a grinch." He cried, his voice beginning to sound deep and more beast-like.



"You should have thought of that before you told everyone." She snarled.



Brian found himself becoming more grinch-like than human, his voice sounded a lot deeper and more beast-like. When the transformation was complete, he was a grinch just like Grincherella.



"What have you done to me?" He asked, his voice now deeper and more beast-like.



"I turned you into a grinch just like myself." Grincherella replied, smiling evilly.



"But why?" He responded.



"Simple, you didn't keep your promise." Grincherella told him. "That's what you get for not keeping your promise."



"I'm sorry, can you change me back now?" He said.



"Nope. Sorry. You deserve it. Enjoy your new form." She responded. "Goodbye. It's been real fun."



And with that she leaped out of the room with superhuman cat-like agility and laughed..."Bwahahaha!" as she left poor Brian stuck as a grinch.



Poor Brian was left stuck as a grinch for a long while after that.



So remember when you make a promise to someone especially a monster or other being with supernatural powers to keep that promise, not doing so would have dire consequences.



The end.

Avatar

James Cameron's new masterpiece Avatar will be coming on dvd and Bluray this coming week.   Did you get the chance to see  it when it came out in theatres?   We did and it was fantastic.   

The movie was very facinating and the Na'vi race are simply beautiful.   I don't know if you know this, but there are now a lot of Na'vi tutorials for photoshop on sites such as Deviantart where people show you step by step how to turn a photo of yourself into a Na'vi.  I did a Na'vi photomanip of Sarah as one but it is nowhere near as good as those are but it's still a pretty cool one.

I think that Andria would make a lovely Na'vi because she is very beautiful and she once mentioned that she can turn into a catgirl.    Andria would look very beautiful as Na'vi,  if I ever get the chance to i should do a photomanip of her as one.


You can create your own Na'vi here on this rather fun game made by Khalypso of DA:
http://khalypso.deviantart.com/art/Create-a-Na-vi-Avatar-150133931


Here is the one of Andria I made using that game.  Isn't she cute?

Items

Closet Keybearers Key




A sacred key which opens the door to the monster realm via a supernatural portal. Only two people in the whole world possess this - Nathan and his old friend Sarah.



Heart Jewel



A special jewel worn by Cassie the werejohncandy, given to her by Chumsley as a valentine's day present. Nathan can wear this around his neck to channel Chumsley or Cassie's abilities and become a werejc like them.



Book Of Beasts



A really ancient book all about the world of the closet monster and attic monster gangs as well as several ally monsters, has several entries about both of them including one on Bruce that is as long as a whole city.



The Cape Of Mystery



A supernatural magic powered cape which is worn by Bruce sometimes but is also worn by Nathan. It can also turn into a pair of angel/demon wings or a pair of gargoyle wings.



Mysterious MJ Hat



This mysterious black fedora hat is the mysterious Michael Jackson hat of wonder it was given to Nathan as a gift by Mitchell. It is said to posess magic powers but only the pure of heart can wear it.



Deluxe Ash Figure



It may seem like an ordinary action figure of Ash from the Evil Dead films, but there is more to it than meets the eye - for it is a deluxe talking Ash figure that has supernatural godly power. Touching the chin of this figure brings good luck. Also accidentally bumping into said figure causes Nathan to undergo a transformation into Ash from the Evil Dead films. It sometimes glows and it's eyes light up just like Bruce's.



Azmira's Mirror



A mirror that Marv the half beast looks into to see the outside world. It can also be used to reveal what a person is like on the inside

Aliens among us

Today we are going to delve into the realm of science fiction and discover some things about aliens that live among us.




Huluians



These are the brain eater variety - often disguised as humans. Now for those who don't know, Hulu is a website which enables you to watch tv shows and movies for free. But if you have seen the adverts you'll know that is a deep dark secret behind this. Most famous examples of this species include Alec Baldwin, Dennis Leary, Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane, and Elisa Dushku. Now those afforementioned ones are featured in the adverts - and did indeed reveal that Hulu is indeed a plot to destroy the world - and how...well they intend on using the website to slowly turn our brains into mush so that they may drink them like a squishee. Luckily if you live in Canada, New Zealand, or anywhere in Europe than there is no chance of you falling victim to this - also it helps if you have a high resistance level or have a brain that's too smart to be effected by such methods. The true form of a Huluian is actually rather disgusting to look at - almost lovecraftian.





Na'vi



These rather peaceful cat-like creatures live on the planet Pandora but you also might be able to find some on in jungles like the Amazon Rainforest. They are about 10 feet tall, have blue skin, pointed ears, cat-like fangs, tails, slightly dark purplish nose and lips, big yellow eyes and some have stripes like a tiger. Na'vi are somewhat like Native American indians in some way because they work in groups called tribes and some have war paint. They are faster and stronger than humans are - and have almost cat-like reflexes.



Martians



For years people have believed that there is life on mars. Now depending on what your views are - martians may appear in more than a few different forms. One of the most common is the "Little Green Men" type, others is the "Greys" stereotype, while one of the most recent is the "Martian mouse" breed as seen in the cartoon series Biker Mice From Mars. Martians for the main part are freedom fighters and are on the side of good.



Plutarkians



Another alien species that originated in the tv series Biker Mice From Mars, these aliens are smelly and fish-like in appearance, and sometimes disguise themselves as humans much like the bad guy from the original Biker Mice series. It has been said that there are quite a few plutarkians living on earth. And for sometime now I have been suspecting that my arch nemesis Rents of Slapstick Anarchy is one, for example I can smell him from a mile away and the smell is horendous, like really old cheese - and also note how his name is two letters short of the word rennet as Andria pointed out which is the name of an emzyme used for products such as cheese, which could mean that his actual name is Ricardo Rennet - which could possibly mean he's a plutarkian. I've seen this up close, i've seen that human mask of his on a table - and i've seen what he looks like without his mask off and believe me it is not a pretty sight.



Coneheads



For those familar with old school SNL, The coneheads are a family of aliens with odly cone shaped heads. They commuincate telepathically.

Short lived tv shows

Theres' quite a few short lived shows I liked the best but here are my favourites. First of all I think that Manimal was a fantastic show, I liked the transformation scenes as the makeup effects were very cleverly done by Stan Winston.




I also liked Big Bad Beetleborgs/Beetleborgs Metalix, Mystic Knights, Masked Rider, Sheena Queen Of The Jungle (the 2002 one), Buffy, Big Wolf On Campus, Angel, Xena, Hercules, Adventures Of Brisco County Jr and Jack Of All Trades.



Also I think that Tales From The Crypt and Tales From The Darkside were both great horror themed shows as well - I also liked Masters Of Horror - in fact I have the dvd of Pelts which by the way has singer Meatloaf in it.



Manimal was an excellent show, and the transformations were amazing - it's a pitty we never got to see the ones for the dolphin, bull and snake though.

Nothing wrong with me

Me and my monsters are here to stay and there's nothing people like Rents can do about it - especially not Rents because in my story he gets turned into a cockroach. My friends are not metally or developmentally disabled in anyway and I am not retarded. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being autistic..ever see the movie Rainman? I have, that movie was pure genius and one of Dustin Hoffman's best.




My monsters and I are a team and nothing can seperate us.



Sure I take a lot of photos of my room but that doesn't mean i'm in any way mentally challenged, what you see in the photos is actually just what it looks like during the day, at night it is entirely different - it's a whole other world. People don't know about that at all.

Believe me when i say there is nothing wrong with me.

New rides 2

The Sci Fi Wing: Rides and Attractions




The sci fi wing is a hi tech futuristic area designed to look like the inside of a moonbase. There is a robotic tour guide named Bob and his job is to show you around.





Star Wars Flight Simulator

Pilot one of the spaceships from Star Wars on this fun ride and go to a galaxy far far away. Save the galaxy and be a hero like Luke Skywalker, or you can take part in a pod race like Anakin did in Star Wars episode 1.









Buzz Lightyear Space Quest

Attention earth, Buzz Lightyear wants YOU to help him save the galaxy from the evil Emperor Zurg. Here you can hop inside Buzz Lightyear's spaceship and be apart of Buzz's crew. You can also befriend the LGMS and take one of them home with you.









Talk With The Aliens



Ever wanted to have a friendly conversation with E.T? Then this handy attraction gives you the chance to talk to the aliens, it uses special voice manipulation technology so you can make your voice sound as alien-like as you want.





Darth Rangoon's Sith Challenge

This interactive attraction is Darth Rangoon's Sith Challenge, where you get to take part in a series of challenges provided by our friend and future sithlord Darth Rangoon including lightsaber battles.









Ben 10 Morph Chamber

Similar to the Face Morph part of the A Christmas Carol train tour, this attraction has a photobooth where you can get your picture taken, then you can morph it into one of Ben's many alien forms.



Dr Who Time Machine

On this Dr Who ride you can travel back in time and help the good Doctor save the galaxy, you can also befriend friendly Cybermen and Daleks.



Terminator Robot Battle Spectacular

This is a spectacular robot showdown featuring our very replicas of the robots from the Terminator.





Star Trek Voyage

This Star Trek ride places you right in an episode of Star Trek or one of the movies, you can choose to be any race from the show or films including Klingon and Romulan.



MST3K Experience

This fantastic attraction gives you the chance to appear in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, you can also meet Mike and the bots.



MST3K Theatre

This is a fantastic 3d MST3K style theatre that has all sorts of sci fi films from the 70's/80's/90's. And now to pay tribute to the late Michael Jackson, Men In Black II and Captain EO have been added to the big selection of movies.



Michael Jackson's StarQuest

This stage show pays homage to Captain EO and is fully interactive. You'll also meet a lot of friendly aliens too.





Back To The Future Adventure

This ride is inspired by Back To The Future, take a car ride into the distant future and see what marvels it has.





The Magic And Fantasy Wing:





This wing of the museum is made to resemble a fairy tale kingdom. A magical cat-like character named Merv the wishling serves as the tour guide here.





Into The Labyrinth

This attraction is an interactive maze inspired by the movie Labyrinth, it's a lot like Disney's Alice In Wonderland maze except it's a lot more fun because of all the tricky traps, monsters and suprises. See if you can make your way through the maze. Complete with Jareth narrating.









Fairy Tale Ferry

This is a gentle boat ride which takes you through fairy tale land, where you get to see famous fairy tale/Nursery ryme characters like Jack and Jill, Mary and her little lamb, Humpty Dumpty, The Princess And The Pea and the Frog Prince.



Never Ending Story Dragon Ride

Inspired by the Never Ending Story, you get to ride on the back of a Luck dragon and travel through the fantastic fantasyland of Fantasia.





Splash Mermaid Show

Fans of the Little Mermaid will love this mermaid show featuring our very own mermaid Mimi and her fishy friends. You'll see her sing and swim about in her tank. You'll also get to pet dolphins and swim with Mimi and her fish friends.




Dungeons And Dragons Hero's Journey

This ride is inspired by Dungeons and Dragons, transport yourself to a fantastic fantasy realm and join a group of heroic adventurers on their quest. You can choose to be any class you want and you get to battle monsters of all kinds. And now you can choose to play a lycanthrope of some kind too including several of the ones we made up.



World Of Warcraft Character Morpher

Be apart of the World Of Warcraft, this attraction is just like the Face Morph part of the Christmas Carol train tour except you can turn yourself into one of the many races from the popular online role playing game World Of Warcraft.



Lord Of The Rings

This dark ride is inspired by the LOTR movies, it uses elements from all three movies and takes you on a journey to Middle Earth.



Fantasyland Theatre

This is a movie theatre where fantasy movies from the 70's/80's/90's are shown on a daily basis including quite a few Disney animated films like Beauty And The Beast. And as a tribute to Michael Jackson the theatre shows an animated short named Patchwork Michael before movies like Labyrinth and Never Ending Story.



Michael Jackson's Dream Tribute

This is the ultimate dream tribute to the late Michael Jackson and it's an interactive 4-d movie which makes Disney style animation and live action with great storytelling, songs, and special effects. A cute cartoon character named Little MJ sings, dances, and interacts

New rides

We've had a lot of new attractions and rides to our theme park.    Also to pay tribute to the late Michael Jackson,  we've added Captain EO as the movie in the sci fi wing and Ghosts in the theatre of the horror wing (it comes on before any Stephen King film).


The Masters Of Horror Wing: Rides And Attractions




This wing of the museum is made to look like a set from a horror film. An Alice Cooper-like character by the name of Morgoth serves as the tour guide.



Nightmare On Elm Street Dreamscape

This ride is an interactive 3d ride inspired by the Nightmare On Elm Street movies, here you can help the dream children defeat the famous dream demon Freddy Krueger, but whatever you do, don't fall asleep. People who get on the ride get free 3d visors and Virtual reality gear.



Ghostbusters Ghost Catching Challenge

In this attraction you can help the Ghostbusters by capturing various evil spirits that haunt the studio. You are given your own special ghostbusting gear and special ectogoggles to see the ghosts with. You may also keep the various ghosts you've captured at the end.



Poultergeist Haunted House

This ride is inspired by the movie Poultergiest, it is a haunted house a LOT like the one at Disneyland except it's a lot scarier and doesn't have the singing busts or any of the other things the one at Disneyland has. It does have changing portraits though although the ones here are different than the ones at Disneyland.



House Of Wax

This attraction is inspired by the Vincent Price horror classic House Of Wax. It's made to be like a wax museum.



Camp Crystal Lake Experience

This ride uses various elements from the Friday the 13th films and it takes you on a scary thrillride. Help the innocent teens fight for their lives before ol Jason Voorhees strikes.



Bad Moon Rising

This attraction is hooooowlingly good fun. It uses elements from werewolf films like The Howling and American Werewolf In London. It gives the whole werewolf movie experience in 4-D as well.



The Bates Motel tour

For fans of the film Psycho this attraction is guranteed to be a scream. Here you are given a special tour of the Bates Motel.





Jaws

This is a seemingly gentle boat ride with a bite. Crush the sunny shores in a special boat but be on the look-out, there's been reports of shark attacks.







Gremlins Factory



Welcome to the Gremlins Factory, inspired by the film Gremlins, this special attraction is made to be a factory where you can make your own Mogwai/gremlin. You can also adopt one of the gremlins from the film. Just remember not to get them wet, expose them to sunlight or feed them after midnight.





Child's Play

This interactive 3d ride is inspired by the Child's Play films. Chucky the evil doll is on another killing spree and it's up to you to put a stop to it.







Tales From The Crypt Haunted House tour

"(cackles) Hello boils and ghouls" this attraction is quite a scream, it's the Tales From The Crypt haunted house tour where you get taken on a tour of the famous house from the tv series intro. Sometimes if you're real lucky, you might just get to see or meet the Crypt Keeper himself.



The Alien Experience

This attraction is inspired by the Alien films, in this attraction you get taken through space but be on the lookout for any xenomorphs (those chestbusters and face huggers can be a real handful). You can also keep the aliens you capture.





The Bloody Good Sweeney Todd Spectacular

This spectacular stage show is based on Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd movie. There are plenty of epic special effects including amazingly realistic fake blood that spurts up and down like water in a fountain.





Zombie Blasters

Inspired by zombie films like Return Of The Living Dead, Zombie Blasters is a thrillride where you have to protect the town from a zombie epidemic, it also has a shooting gallery where you can shoot various zombified townspeople.



Dr Madness's Monster Morpher

This is the only one i've done in collabration with my arch nemesis Dr Madness, this is an interactive part of the museum which is a lot like my dream invention the Monster Morpher (it even has all of the monster forms from the invention on it). There is a photobooth where you can have your picture taken and then choose which one of those monster forms you want it to morph you into. It uses rather clever morphing technology.





Scary Horror Picture Theatre

This is a horror themed movie theater which shows classic horror films from the 70's, 80's and 90's. And now as a tribute to Michael Jackson it shows Thriller sometimes and also shows Ghosts before a Stephen King film like The Shining.



Thrillerific Michael Jackson Tribute Show

In honour of the late Michael Jackson, we present to you the Michael Jackson tribute show. A great spectacular stage show paying homage to Michael Jackson's two horror themed videos Thriller and Ghosts.



Michael Jackson's Ghosts Face Morpher

This attraction is a lot like the Face Morph section of the A Christmas Carol train tour. Morph yourself into one of the characters from Michael Jackson's short film Ghosts. My brother tried it recently, he got to be the Maestro.



Jurassic Park Dino Rampage

Inspired by Jurassic Park, this ride is a thrillride where you encounter various dinosaurs including the ferocious verociraraptor.



Stephen King's Terror Central

This uses various elements from Stephen King movies like It and The Shining to give a truly epic horror experience.



Hail To The King

This groovy interactive 3d ride is based on the Evil Dead trilogy, here you can experience what it is like to be legendary lantern jawed Deadite slaying hero Ashley J. Williams also known as Ash.



The Evil Dead Stunt Show

This gory spectacular is the evil dead stunt show. See my friend Sam "Chinstar" Leno as lantern jawed deadite slayer Ashley J. Williams and be amazed by the special effects.



The David Cronenberg Wing:

This wing is a treat for fans of all things gory as it resembles the tv station from the film Videodrome and the tour guide is a human/fly hybrid named Jeff.





•Theatre Of The Weird

This is a movie theatre that plays David Cronenberg movies on a regular basis and what's even better is that it's interactive.



•Jeff and Dave's World Of Creepy Crawlers

This is a special area similar to the insect house you would find at the zoo. Here you can see various creepy crawlies including various insects as well as arachnids, repitles and also some bats.

•DNA Fusion Lab

Ever wanted to see what it would be like if you fused your dna with that of your favourite animal? Well now you can. The DNA Fusion Lab uses clever morphing technology to show you what it would be like if you were fused with your favourite animal (it can even be a cartoon character)



•The Fly Live

This is an interactive stunt show based on the 1986 remake of The Fly starring a good friend



Squickatorium

This attraction uses elements of The Fly, Scanners, Dead Zone, Existenz, Night Breed, and Videodrome to give you a hands on look at the extremely squicky world of David Cronenberg.


The Fly Telepod Ride

Here you get to test out the telepods from the 1986 remake of the fly by David Cronenberg. But be careful not to let anything like a fly in there.



Videodrome Experience

This attraction is a Squickily organic experience based on the film Videodrome, see what it's like to be a "product of television".



Scanners VR Freakout

Go on a freaky virtual trip through cyberspace in the Scanners VR Freakout ride, inspired by the movie Scanners, this ride is not for the faint hearted.



Crash Coaster

This out of control rollercoaster from hell is the Crash Coaster, it is inspired by the film Crash- it's possibly the fastest ride in the David Cronenberg wing and also one of the scariest.

Attic monsters

Meet my attic monster gang




Sparky



Sparky is a gremlin with a knack for hacking machinery and making mischief. He resembles the ones from the movie and has a high pitched sounding voice.



Rocho



A Jabba the Hutt-like creature who likes to eat small bugs. He has a deep booming voice and laugh much like Jabba but speaks English.



Chumsley and Cassie



A couple of canadian forest Werejohncandies who love each other very much, both are kind and gentle despite their large size. They like to tell stories and sing songs.



Hargilotti



The ghost of a famous opera singer, can be heard singing at night often. He has black hair, a goatee and a very powerful voice.





Dustman



The Dustman or Dusty as he is often called is a lot similar to the being known as the Sandman except he doesn't do sand - he is the one who makes things all dusty. His theme song is a parody of the song Enter Sandman. He wears a black hooded cloak and no one can see his face. Has an army of mutant dust bunnies.



Andria



Andria is a na'vi like the ones from the movie Avatar, she is named after my friend Andria Kilgor. She is very shy but she is beautiful as well.



Gorvax



Gorvax is a chestbuster alien like the one from the Alien movies, he talks with a snake-like speech pattern.



Syvor



A Predator-like being who is often fighting with Gorvax.



Alana



A sorceress/witch who looks a lot like Elvira. She's very good at casting spells - she also likes to turn people she doesn't like into silly animals for fun.



Roscoe and Albert



These two are gargoyles based on film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert, both of them like to watch movies even though they rarely agree on anything and their opinions often differ.



Vincent



A rebellious biker vampire who resembles a young Jay Leno. He is an 1980's style vampire and has his own biker gang like in the Lost Boys.



Georgie



A King Kong-like creature with a heart of gold and the strength of 10,000 men.



Tyranitor



A Godzilla-like lizard who likes to destroy things and has atomic breath.



J.P Bones



A creepy old ghoul who likes to scare people by popping out of coffins and cackling like the Cryptkeeper from Tales From The Crypt, he is quite sadistic and a nutty inventor - he likes to build deathtraps and other kooky contraptions. He is named after and modelled on the creepy judge from the film Nothing But Trouble (1991). He doesn't like salesman (door to door or insurance), bankers and other people who dare break the law or question his authority, coincidentally he is also in charge of the whole gang.



Hugo



A hunchback who looks and sounds a lot like Peter Lorre, he is very skitish and a bit o a nervous wreak.



Bobby



A blob who can morph into anything. Bobby likes to use this power to annoy people by turning into them and mimicing them.



Ratty



He's the only non monster in the group, he's a rat with many diseases, allergies, and medical problems. He annoys and disgusts people a lot. Often insults them or squicks them out with his disgusting stories. Speaks in a comical German sounding accent and has a really annoying laugh.

Closet monsters

When you were little,  did you believe that there were monsters in your closet?  I did, and i still do.  In fact I have a whole gang of them.

I'd like you to meet my closet monster gang.


Presto




Presto is a dark blue skinned phasm with brown hair and a goatee, he has magical powers and is the one in charge of the closet monster gang.



Ted



Ted is a Freddy Krueger-like character who likes to scare his victims in their dreams. He often wears a fedora hat, a striped sweater, and a clawed glove. He has a twisted sense of humour.



Grincherella



A female grinch with the ability to switch between her human and grinch forms at will. She is a lot like Demona from Gargoyles in terms of personality. In human form she resembles Carmen Electra, and in grinch form she kind of looks like that too except for the green fur, glowing yellow eyes, small fangs, sharp black claws and wild black hair. Her eyes often glow an eerie yellowish colour when she's mad. She's also able to turn humans into grinch-like creatures by scratching them with her claws.



Scare Bear



A possessed teddy bear. He may seem cute on the ouside but on the inside he's a cold blooded killer. He often carries around a butcher knife.



Zombo



A wise cracking zombie who is always falling apart and resembles Griffin Dune in American Werewolf In London.



Bunyip



A big blue super strong koala who is rather intelligent and has a faux British accent.



Mitchell



A fellow spellcaster , he is a lot like Michael Jackson as the Maestro in Ghosts even resembles him, he has a number of supernatural powers including the ability to possess people by flying into them, he is often seen with an army of ghosts from the past. He can also turn into the Superghoul from the video - he can also possess people and turn them into a creature like that one as well.



Jasey



Jasey is a Jason voorhees-like character who wears a hockey mask. His favourite place to scare people is at a campsite. He often argues with Ted.



Jeff



Named after actor Jeff Goldblum, Jeff is a human/fly hybrid much like Brundlefly except he's much better looking and he has wings.



Edgar



Edgar was born in Halloweentown. He is a tim burtonesque creature, but in human form he kind of resembles Johnny Depp. He is quite mysterious and shy. Often plays poker with Beetlejuice and Jack Skellington. He is often seen playing Rock, Paper, Scissors with Edward Scissorhands but sometimes loses.



Jack



Named after Jack Nicholson, Jack is a werewolf just like Wolfie except he's more than a little insane. His mannerisms are also partially based on Jack Nicholson's including his accent and smile.



Bruce



The only member of the group who isn't a monster, he is second in command. He resembles the character Ash from the Evil Dead films and has his mannerisms too. Bruce has a chainsaw where his left arm should be although sometimes he has a mechanical hand and his trademark weapon is a 12 gauge remmington shotgun which he refers to as his "boomstick".



Sarah



She's a lot like the Corpse Bride, she later becomes Zombo's girlfriend.



Cleo



An egpytian mummy who is also royalty.



Sebastian (this is my closet monster persona)



Sebastian is a devilishly charming demon who appears in the form of a handsome well dressed gentleman. He is very witty and quite intelligent

The great thing about monsters

Greetings monster lovers, Nathan F here. Everything is going great here.




And do not worry i will not give up my monster stuff, because much like fellow monster lover Blackbluedawg I do love the concept of a monster living in someone's closet.



How many of you believed that there was a monster in your closet when you were younger?



I certainly did and still do - in fact I have a whole gang of them in there and even though they fight a lot and sometimes do things that get me in trouble I still love them. Except for Scare Bear though, and that's because he frightens me.



Like I said before there is absolutely nothing wrong with believing in monsters or that you are one yourself.



Monsters, ghosts and the paranormal have facinated people for centuries. And it still continues to facinate and captivate people today.



Sometimes just for fun I watch really bad b-grade horror/sci fi films like the ones on MST3K and laugh at how silly they are - even though they are actually rather fun to watch.



I will not let something like a little insulting forum post stop me from making my monster magic.



And much like my friend Marionut247 I love the show Beetleborgs, in fact I watched it all the time when it was on Fox Kids. I especially loved the antics of those wacky house monsters - of course Flabber is my favourite.



I also sometimes watch the dvds of Tales From The Crypt which was one of the gifts I got from a friend - mainly season 1-7. My favourite season 7 episode is the one with Eddie Izzard in it - that and I love the Third Pig - that little animated one is pure gold. Poor Dudley is the only smart one in the lot while Drinky and Smokey are idiots

Hosts

According to some of my friends and relatives these are the late night hosts I'm most like:




Johnny Carson - Well in a way yes, except I don't have a sidekick with a booming laugh. But I am good with creating wacky characters.



David Letterman - I'm not sure about this one, while I may be good at making up lists - I cannot concur that I am anything like Dave except for the lists.



Conan O Brian - I'm not exactly tall enough to be CoCo neither do I have wavy head hair. But I do sometimes have a hand puppet I like to use in sketches - he's a ladybug named Sid.



Jay Leno - While I do adore fine cars and motorcycles I do not collect them like Leno does or own a garage like Jay's, and you probably won't see me in a Doritos commercial, neither do I have grey hair with a black spot at the top or a huge jutting out chin.



Jon Stewart - Another good one, this one may actually be more close to my brother than me though.



Stephen Colbert - After careful consideration I concur with this one, it is true I am a whole lot like Stephen sometimes. I do love the word truthiness as well. Although i usually have an aversion for birds I do love eagles though, and am considering getting a TY Eagle beanie baby and naming it Nathan Jr just like how Stephen's eagle is named Stephen

Actors I'm most like

Here the actors i've been told i'm most like.




Johnny Depp - In a way, I do kind of resemble him. I even went as Captain Jack Sparrow for halloween.



Jack Nicholson - Hmmm..maybe, if it's the younger Jack from Easy Rider and other movies then yes, if it's the Jack from The Shining and Batman well...maybe, but if it's the much more somber Jack from his later movies like About Schmit...then well, kinda.



Tom Hanks - There is absolutely no way I am like this loser. I mean do I look like Forrest Gump to you? I don't think so. Unless of course you're refering to Tom Hanks in his comedy days when he did comedies - if it's that one, then sure - i'm kind of like that.



Marlon Brando - Ah Brando, one of the greatest. No doubt I might be similar to Brando in someway, i'm not entirely sure if I am like the young Brando or the much older one who became a recluse. I do a pretty impersonation of him as Don Vito Carlone though.



Jeff Goldbum - This is probably one of the most likely ones, due to the fact that in most of my stories my character is usually a scientist like the ones Jeff plays in films like The Fly and Jurassic Park. Except that i've never been turned into a human/insect hybrid like Jeff in The Fly.



Jim Carrey - In a way I sort of am, I am awesome at doing impressions and such - I can also do various different weird noises. And I do like the colour green. But I can't make faces the way Jim does.



Robin Williams - Well I am good at doing silly voices and making weird noises I am by far no Robin Williams - and i'm not hairy like he is either.



John Candy - Well I'm flattered but the truth is i'm no JC, For starters i'm 5'7 and 170lbs - I'm not big and cuddly like John was - at least not in my human form, but as a werejc I deffinately am.



Eddie Izzard - In a way i'm kind of like him, I mean even I don't dress in drag like Eddie does in some of his comedy acts, I do have some British charm like he does, and I am very fond of "Cake Or Death" and "Covered In Bees".



Tim Curry - Oh I wish, the man makes evil extremely sexy. Just the sound of his voice can seduce you and believe me that voice of his extremely seductive. I'm kind of like that except my voice is nowhere as powerful and seductive as his.



Bruce Campbell - This is the one I get often and it is true, this one fits me to a t. I myself am sometimes a LOT like Bruce, the heart of an action hero and the swagger to match. Plus I like kicking ass and taking names

Jay Leno's death rumour

Earlier last year Leno checked into hospital because of some unknown illness  which was later revealed to be exaustion.

There was also a rumour of him dying.      Of course said rumour is NOT true.   But in a way it kind of make us wish that Jay really was dead.   No offense, we really like him and all but now it seems everyone hates him - even former fans of his.    Me and my brother might have to follow suit.

According to the Death Clock,   Leno's death date is said to be on:
Wednesday, February 7, 2018

But for those who can't wait that long or are sick of Leno all together  - don't worry you can always help the CoCo fans out there by joining their crusade.

The late night debacle may be over,  but the war is just begining.

Upcoming transformation projects

For those who like my transformation themed stories,   you'll be glad to know that i am currently working on some new ones.  

Including two disney character tfs ones,   one is one I did a long while ago and it was of someone turning into Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story and the other is a Gaston tf story -  in which my character becomes Gaston from Beauty And The Beast.

Future projects include a Gargoyles themed tf project with Weremoose.   As well as a dark take on the CoCo VS Leno debacle with me getting turned into an evil wereleno.


If you like my stories, you can check some of them out here:
http://drmusic2-1.deviantart.com/gallery/#_browse/literature

Late night war

Now before we get started with this semi controversial piece i'd like to warn you that there is some material in here that may offended some people - but if you don't mind it at all then read on..



The war of late night chat shows has been going on for quite a long time, first Jay VS David Letterman and now Jay VS Conan O Brian.


Jay Leno has been host of the Tonight Show for over 17 years now - he "left" the show near the end of May last year and got his own primetime show in September.



Conan took over from Leno the following monday after he left the show.



Now here's where things take a turn for the worse...



Apparently some sources say it was the network's decision to fire Conan and to have Jay back - which of course upset a lot of "Coco" fans out - you know, the ones who do the "I'm With Coco" badges and posters as well as quite a few of the photomanips ascioated with the campaign you see on this site.



The Conan fans out there do NOT want Jay to return - back now Jay is back. So what happens to poor Conan? Nobody knows really.



What really happened? I suspect it was all part of Jay's evil plan. That's right, I believe that Leno is evil - pure unrelenting evil at it's worst. Not only is he evil, but he is also a sell-out. Bill Hicks was right about Jay - Jay is a corporate shill. I saw those Doritos ads with him in them on Youtube and I heard Bill's words echo in my head as I saw them.


Now normally I respect Jay but after this i'm starting to wonder if liking him actually was a good idea in the first place.

I mean everyone seems to hate him now including fellow comedians, CoCo supporters, and Howard Stern.
I really do think the network is pulling a Xanatos gambit here. Either that or Leno may be in fact cheating. Which is something me and my brother don't approve of at all - except of course in a video game - and while I myself have on occassion cheated at something bear in mind that it happened only when playing Monopoly.
Personally I think that Leno doesn't know how to play fair. For those who are uneducated allow me to explain what it meas - it means letting someone else take their turn after you when playing, it involves something called sharing - that way everyone gets to play along as well when they take turns and share. Nothing says you really care like sharing your favourite things with your best friends and taking turns. Of course there are somethings that should not be shared like contact lenses, spit, drinks, and of course hair accessories (especially if that person has lice).

Jay doesn't know how to play fair - sure he comes across as a nice guy but is that really what he's like? Some sources beg to differ, if Jay knew how to play fair he would let Coco have the tonight show.


If there are any CoCo supporters out there who are outraged by Leno's return to late night you may join in our angry mob, we've got plenty of angry mob supplies.

Disney transformations

I have visited Lance Foxx's site and i like all the pictures on there - Disney character tfs are fun and very rare indeed. My friend Weremoose also sometimes does Disney tfs.




Coincidentally I wrote a Disney tf story a couple of years back, mine involved someone turning into Buzz from Toy Story. If I can find it again i might post it on here.



I've also been planning on doing a Gaston TF sometime, I thought of writing a story based on it.



Also in the future Weremoose and I might do a gargoyles character tf project, he has already been turned into Broadway, i've talked with him about it and soon we might do a transformation of me into Hudson or Goliath.



Disney transformations are certainly fun to do.

If there's a disney character you'd like to see me, my brother or any of my friends get transformed into let us know.

TV Tropes origins

Nightmare Fuel


This tvtropes page has several different categories including Western Animation, Real Life, Folklore, Film, Live Action TV, Disney movies, Toys, and Books as well as music videos. It has a number of pop culture references. The trope name Nightmare Fuel comes from Mystery Science Theatre 3000- in which the b grade sci fi/horror films they were forced to watch were anything but scary but the kiddie ones like Merlin's Shop Of Mystical Wonders on the other hand were very frightening indeed. There's also High Octane Nightmare Fuel , the difference is that the regular one mentions scary bits in stuff for kids that was put in unintentially while the High Octane one refers to scary things that were put in more mature works intentionally. There are several other "tropes" ascioated with this trope including Body Horror, Transformation Trauma, Last Note Nightmare and others. The "Transformation Trauma" trope refers to graphic, horrifying transformation sequences like in The Fly and other horror films including The Thing - there's also Painful Transformation which mentions very painful transformation sequences from movies like American Werewolf In London, Body Horror refers to grotesque mutations that happen to the body in horror/sci fi movies especially ones by David Cronenberg. Nightmare Retardant acts in a reverse way to this trope, you see it tries it's best to be scary but unintentionally ends up making you laugh instead because of how silly it is. And I Must Scream gets it's name from a science fiction short story about an evil computer - and refers to such fates as being turned to stone.



Fetish Fuel

This one is the opposite of Nightmare Fuel. While Nightmare Fuel is unintentionally made to scare, Fetish Fuel is intentionally made to turn people on. I would list examples of this but some are just too dirty and sick to be mentioned.



Squick

A combination of the words squeamish and ick, refers to something really disgusting, creepy and just plain wrong.

Guess Who Makeup Challenge

Welcome to my guess who makeup challenge.  Where you have to identify who the person in makeup is. The winner will recieve a copy of Makeup Artist Magazine.


Here is the first one:
http://mattdavisopenshismouth.com/wp-content/uploads/fly_2.gif

Here is the second one:
http://costumzee.com/view/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/freddy.jpg

Here is the third one:
http://www.filmdope.com/Gallery/ActorsD/5027-603.gif

This is the fourth one:
http://www.virginmedia.com/images/1baddies-gal-penguin.jpg

This is the fifth one:
http://canada.blog.uvm.edu/group3/grinch.jpg

This is the sixth one:
http://www.rumormillnews.com/pix5/ghosts.jpg

This is number 7:
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01183/arts-graphics-2008_1183350a.jpg

This one is number 8:
http://chud.com/articles/content_images/24/nuttyprof.gif

This is the 9th one:
http://thisrecording.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/3412656_gal.jpg

10:
http://www.urbanmoms.ca/moms_the_word/mtw/CarlosinLazyTown.jpg

11:
http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/still/bloodrayne_08.jpg

And

12:
http://quatchwatch.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/tenacious-d-in-the-pick-of-destiny-20070227055529531-000.jpg

Can you guess who they all are?

New Monster Factfile

Welcome to another ghoulishly entertaining edition of Monster Factfile. In today's episode we will be telling all about the Superghoul from Michael Jackson's Ghosts




Description:

This breed of creature is a subspecies of demon known as Super Ghoul. In human form they tend to be spellcasters or necromancers. Most well known example of one who happens to be a spellcaster is the Maestro.









Appearance:

They are quite similar in appearance to a Buffy style vampire except they're much cooler looking and have pointed ears and claws. Could almost pass for a member of the Manhattan clan from Disney's Gargoyles if they had horns and wings and a tail. Some have yellow or orangish eyes while the more evil ones have red eyes or sometimes white ones that glow.







Habitat:



These kind of demons like to live in haunted mansions and other dark and scary places. In human form they often like to hang out with various different ghosts from the distant past.



Behaviour traits:



Despite their rather sinister looks, the superghoul is actually quite a likable creature. And often tend to be of the lawful good alignment like the Maestro - the only one of these that wasn't of this alignment was the Mayor after he got posessed and that's because he is of the lawful evil alignment. In human form said superghoul can often be very eccentric and charming and know a lot of magic tricks.







Powers:



These creatures possess a variety of unique supernatural powers when in human and in their natural ghoul form, in human form they possess supernatural magic abilities such as the ability to conjur up a family of ghosts to aid them, in ghoul form they posesss very keen senses, super strength and numerous other demon powers including possession. They are able to possess another person by simply flying into them. By posessing that person they are able to make them do anything - even dancing (like with the Mayor). They are also able to change their size.







Becoming One:



One of the many supernatural powers a super ghoul possess is the ability to transform a person into one of their kind by possessing them. Becoming one yourself might be a difficult task to do if you don't have already someone like MJ to show you how to do it.





Transforming:


The transformation is usually involuntarily and painful at first and usually happens after that person is possessed - as with the Mayor for instance. But eventually the person will get used to it. It's usually a very fun transformation to watch - if you wish to be one yourself you'll need someone like the Maestro to teach you

Wonderful Werekatt

On DA, werekatt is one of my friends and one of the artists i admire the most. He is a real pioneer when it comes to photomanipulation, I consider all of his work to be wonderful and outstanding. Weremoose is another transformation themed artist who I admire (his photomorphs are ingenius), as well as JayWolf, Kanada, Metamorpher and PickleJuice. These guys are great at transformation themed art and for that I love them.




I used to visit Werekatt's old site a lot, i saved a lot of images from that site onto my computer and I look at them to remember the pure brilliance of that site.



To Werekatt, Weremoose, Metamorpher, Jaywolf, Kanada, and Picklejuice - you guys are the best, don't stop doing that thing you do.


Click this link here to visit Werekatt's old site:
http://web.archive.org/web/20061213092813/transform.to/~werekatt/start.html

35 horror films you should watch before you die

Are you into scary stuff like we are?   Then you'll deffinately want to check out some of the wonderful creepy sites and sounds of the Masters Of Horror wing of our museum/theme park.

If you love horror movies than you'll love this...

Here is our list of horror/horror comedy movies you should watch before you die:


1. Jaws.

2. Poultergiest.

3. Psycho.

4. The Nightmare On Elm Street series.

5. The Fly (both the original and the 1986 remake)

6. American Werewolf In London.

7. Evil Dead.

8. Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn.

9. Army Of Darkness.

10. Fright Night.

12. Shaun Of The Dead.

13. Cat People (both the original and the 1982 remake)

14. Demon Knight (Tales From The Crypt)

15. Bordello of Blood (again, Tales From The Crypt)

16. Any and all of the Alien and Predator films.

17. Child's Play.

18. Nothing But Trouble.

19. Friday the 13th series.

20. Halloween series.

21. Trick R Treat.

22. Tales From The Darkside: The Movie

23. Poultrygeist: Night Of The Chicken Dead.

24. Scanners.

25. Videodrome.

26. The Grudge.

27. Gremlins.

28. Twilight Zone: The Movie.

29. Earth VS The Spider.

30. Pirahna.

31. The SAW movies.

32. Texas Chainsaw Masacre.

33. The Shining.

34. It.

35. Creepshow/Creepshow II/Creepshow III.


If you haven't heard of Nothing But Trouble, it's a wonderful weird horror comedy made in 1991 - it is Dan Akyroyd's directorial debut and he plays two characters in it as well - one is a creepy judge named J.P Alvin Valkanheiser and the other one is of one of the two portly troll-like sons of his, Demi Moore and Chevy Chase also star in it as a couple who end up in the bizzare town of Valkanvania, John Candy also plays two roles - he plays Dennis the cop and he also plays the cop's sister Eldona. I heavily reccomend you watch it.

Dictionary Defination

I'm taking this test on Quiz Galaxy,  it's one where you type someone's name in or maybe your own and it will tells you how you will be defined in the dictonary.


Here's what mine is:

"A poltergeist sent back in time to change the course of history forever"

Yep,  that deffinately sounds like me alright - although i am not sure about the poltergeist part.

This is what my brother's one is:

"A person with a sixth sense for detecting the presence of goblins"

That is the most accurate defination ever.  My brother has got a sixth sense for that kind of thing, and he's damm good at it too.

And here's Andria's deffination:

"Sexually stunning"

You have no idea how disturbingly accurate that is.