Welcome To My Nightmare

When I growing up I was into all sorts of creepy stuff and so was my brother. We stayed up till dawn watching scary movies, we read horror comics, and our absolute favourite tv show at that time was Tales From The Crypt. Me and my brother are the only two people in the known world who can stomach one of David Cronenberg's movies. I went as Alice Cooper to Tyrone The Terrible's costume party once. I would watch all kinds of scary stuff and it wouldn't disturb me in the least. But the educational children's shows our mother subjected us too creeped the hell out of me. For starter there was this segment on this children's show Playdays called Fingerprint Farm, it was made using fingerpaint. Basically it involved a bunch of farm animals on a farm which was owned by a character named Farmer Hand- now get this, Former Hand was rarely ever seen at all in any of them and that's because he wasn't a person or animal....he was a disembodied hand, The animals were okay for the most part except for two of them- the cow and the owl. Also the theme song creeped the hell out of me (and till this day it still lingers in my head like an Ear Worm), what's worse is that after the song is done at the end of the segment the owl hoots "Twit twooooo toodleloooo!" in a creepy ghost-like manner. But it was the cow that scared me the most. And it's THAT cow that caused me to have an aversion for cows or anyother animal with hooves as well as a farm aversion. That damm cow always appeared in my nightmares- as a ghostly spectre with Glowing Eyes Of Doom- and it could talk too- and when it talked it sounded just like Tim Curry for some reason- what's worse is that it had supernatural powers- and for some reason it wanted me to come with it to it's home- a dark, creepy underworld city- and if you refused it would use it's powers to punish me by turning me into something I would hate to be turned into like a cow, a demonic dog thing,a tree, or some kind of monstrous bird. Luckily I found a way to get back at that bovine monstrosity, by banishing it to the Dimension Of Souls That Never Return (which is kind of like Hell). I haven't seen that creepy cow ever since. Another show which creeped me out was Fireman Sam, I always suspected that Sam was a serial killer or axe murderer. The Guy Fawkes episode of the show creeped the hell out of me- I cannot say which parts of it did. I have these nightmares where i'm either running from a firey flood or trapped in a burning apartment. It's so damm creepy when you think about it. I've made a video game featuring those creepy children's show characters as the enemies- Fireman Sam is portrayed in a similar way to Jack Nicholson in the Shining, Postman Pat is portrayed as a Grim Reaper-like character and his cat is portrayed as a werecat, Barney is portrayed as a vampric blood thirsty killer dinosaur, Rosie and Jim are portrayed as kind of like Regan from the Exorcist, Mr Blobby is portrayed as a swamp monster, Soapy Bubbles is portrayed as some sort of human/fish hybrid monster, the teletubbies are portrayed as zombified versions of themselves, the Fingerprint farm animals are all portrayed as eerie blue ghosts with glowing eyes and Farmer Hand is portrayed as a necromancer of some kind, while the Sesame Street characters are portrayed as satanic imps. The game is called Kiddie Karnage and is based on the Evil Dead movies. Sam Leno voices the hero in the game, a lantern jawed hero who looks, sounds and acts just like Ash. Kiddie Karnage is available on the mega console game system.