Amercianizing Blackadder? What in the world?

As you probably know - the US seem to be doing a bit of "Americanising" British shows like they recent did with Top Gear and a few others as well as of course Pop Idol. But I think there are just some shows that should be left as they are like Blackadder for example.

I read that there's been some talk of a Blackadder 5 series set in New York, and they have Steve Martin in talks for the Blackadder role,   now pardon me if I seem a bit harsh here but old Steve isn't in the least bit fit to fill the shoes of such a role - I respect the guy as much as any other fan of his does and I admit he was pretty funny back in the 80's but I just CANNOT see him play Blackadder at all. 

I mean you know about how much of a flop the Pink Panther remakes were, this is just going too far. Rowan Atkinson is and always will be the ONLY Edmund Blackadder- as that one of his most career defining roles. And Rob Schneider as Baldrick? There's no way on god's green earth that could ever work. Tony Robinson is the ONLY Baldrick (apart from Phillip Fox in the unaired pilot episode).

As I am a huge fan of the series and I like it the way it is - it's perfection, and I don't want it to be altered in anyway especially not remade, or Americanized.

It would be an absolute disgrace if these turn out to be true.    I just can't see any of this happening.   I mean I've done quite a few fanscripts myself including one set in the days of Vlad The Impaler with Blackadder as a vampire,  and even a Blackadder-style retelling of the Oddysey.

I just hope that if this ever gets made that it will all turn out to be a nightmare the real Blackadder is having caused by Baldrick's cooking.      Or it could be an elaborate prank his friends put together.   Whatever happens,    I just hope it doesn't actually come into fruitation.

I like Blackadder as it is and I don't want it to be altered in anyway,  why mess with perfection that's what I always say.

About the werejohncandy thing

This is one thing I just want to clear up with you lot,   i' m really not a werejohncandy and this is the complete and utter truth,   the werejohncandy thing was just for fun as is all the other monster stuff,   and it is something me and Blackbluedawg do for fun and it's something that makes us happy,    and  I don't want to give up on it because it makes me happy.

I mean you wouldn't want to give up on something that makes you happy would you?   I guess you wouldn't ever.    So don't believe a word those trolls may have said about me,   nothing that ED article says about me is true.

My life is perfectly normal and so is my mind,   i'm not retarded or insane -   I happen to be very clever and i'm not mentally disabled or anything so I am easy to understand.

I am doing fine and I hope you lot are as well.

Something I wish to say

Everyone,    I am sorry for lying to you all.    I'm not really a film-maker or actor or anything,   I just made that up because I wanted to be respected a little more.

 I never really got respected all that much in school and I didn't have that many friends.   In a way I was always being sort of bullied by both the older students and by the teachers themselves and the teachers and staff at my old school were always rather cruel to me,   it's like they hated me.      The only friends I actually did have were some weird kids.

Also I am sorry for lying about my age, gender and identity,     -   I had to do it because I was afraid that if my real identity was ever found out that I would become a target for pedophiles,  trolls,  stalkers,   and spammers and the like -   because as you know giving away your own real name name, address,   password,   or other personal details online is a major no-no and could get you in trouble or even worse,  you could end up with your own account hacked (just like my old one)  and there would be noway to get it back.

Also I never said I was a werejohncandy,  that was just for fun -  the monster stuff is just something me and Blackbluedawg do for fun -   there is no need for anyone to take it seriously.    I don't want to give up on it though because it makes me happy and I don't want to give up on something that makes me happy.

Even though i'm not actually a film-maker,    I do know a lot about movies and actors in general -  and no I don't have aspergers but my medical report says I'm autistic -   i'm in no way disabled or anything -  I  can still walk,  talk like a normal person,  and I'm not all that difficult to understand.

I'm not actually an actor either even though I did take part in a Disneyland parade once as a dancer and I did take part in a few school plays including one that frankly I thought was terrible.    I did go to drama workshops quite a few times though.    

One drama workshop I went to was doing The Lion King and the other one was doing Hercules,   there was also one doing The Witches -   I wanted to be apart of that one but I was about 12 at the time so I might have been considered a bit too young even though I had been reading some of Roald Dahl's books around that time.    But there is one production piece I was especially proud of -   it was a retelling of the Oddysey -   and not just an ordinary retelling of it -  a rather Blackadder-like retelling of it,   I played a Blackadder-like Captain Oddyseus.

I do write stories and fanscripts from time to time as well as reviews,   i've got several folders for those.    And despite what you may have heard,   i'm not a moaning crybaby who questions authority or destroys things out of anger or has tantrums,    in fact when I was young I rarely had tantrums at all I was mostly very quiet.

The only times I've ever been naughty were in my old school,   I decided to skip the school assembly because well..   I hated them,   I thought they were boring.     Listening to the principal go on and on and on was the last thing I ever wanted to do,   and the awards and house-points thing was just some kind of pathetic thing to get the other students to work harder.     Besides,   the house I was in -   Arundel was always last,  and on most occassions was the losing house -   especially on sports day.

I also skipped P.E a few times and that's because I hated it,   it was like phsyical torture for me and my class especially when we got stuck doing stuff like Cross country later on.   So naturally I pretended to be sick in order to get out of it -  and it worked.

Also I detested math class -   math was always the most boring class for me,   and I was so bored that I decided to start singing and acting silly -   made my classmates laugh but pissed off the teachers.   One such instance occured during one lesson,    Victoria and I were looking through a few math papers and we saw one of them was upside down -   and to us the upside down number  looked like the letter F and we started laughing.     That later became a running joke,    everytime the letter F was mentioned -  we would burst out giggling.

Another running joke that occurred during that same period was the impersonation I did of a royal trumpet,  which was taken from a Star Wars CD rom game -  i'm pretty sure it was Yoda's Challenge.    

I used to always do impersonations in class to cheer my mates up,   and I would also do funny voices -  once I  answered my name at roll call in a Pikachu voice.      And there's my pufferfish impersonation -  which in a way was similar to Bluto's zit impersonation in Animal House but without the mash potatoes,    basically I would puff my cheeks up and make an angry expression.

Also speaking of fish,  I used to get in trouble for just merely uttering the word Fish or Fish Pie,   I know it sounds stupid but it's true.    Once I uttered the word Fish pie in class and it made my two mates laugh but some how really peeved the teacher off for some reason,  and for that she had me stay in at lunchtime and write the word over and over again on lined paper -   the same thing happened when I uttered the word fish on it's own.

Those are the only occassions in which i've done something that is considered naughty,   okay I did heckle a school assembly a few years back but that's because I usually find them so boring plus the principal was going on about that crappy school play that was performed the night before -   luckily I wasn't there the night it was performed,   I was a cast member in it and was there for the rehearsals and even wrote the script but the script got changed by Carl aka the worst drama teacher in the world.

I've occassionally struck out against the teachers and sent to time-out,   but that was only because I couldn't trust any of them,    all of them seemed either batshit insane or pure evil -  I was trying to rebel against them,   and the way they treated my friends wasn't at all fair.

I have never stolen anything and I haven't infringed any copyrights or anything,   I haven't killed anyone or have even thought about it so apart from a bit of rebel rousing and comedic antics at school I'm pretty innocent.

And if I should die,   I hope that I will end up in Heaven and not in Hell -   because I don't want to end up in Hell and forced to wear a werejohncandy fursuit for Satan and his minions -   now I know it's a joke but i'm just being cautious that is all,    I do not want that to happen to me.

I just wanted to get this off my chest and because I've changed my ways and now I want the trolls like EGY and Demongoat to leave me alone now that it's over.

fandom

According to that excreatible and despicable Encyclopedia Dramatica article it says I have no fans.  

Now that statement couldn't be any more false,    while I may not be famous or popular or even well liked -   I have people who love me and not just for my work,   I mean my family loves me,   my friends like me,   and even the cat likes me.

How many of you here are fans of me and my work?   And how many of you are just here because of Metokur or Encyclopedia Dramatica?   If you are here because you are a fan,   please state why and how you became a fan -  if you are here because of the troll sites Metokur,  Encyclopedia Dramatica and Awkward Zombie then get lost -   I don't appreciate trolls.

Monsters

There is something I've been wanting to get off my chest,   about the werejohncandy thing -    I never actually was one -  and all that stuff I wrote about being one was just for fun,   same with when I was pretending to be one and the weregrinch stuff is also just for fun.

I'm sorry if some of you took it a little too seriously,   that goes for the people of Metokur as well -   don't believe a word the ED article says about me.

The monster stuff is just for fun and it's something me and my friends like to do most of the time,   so please don't judge me because of it.

Appology

i'd like to apologize to everyone for being so immature and for not ignoring trolls like EGY when I was told to and for being an overall bad egg.     And  no i'm not pretending,   I really am sorry and I have mended my ways.

I am sorry for being such a bad egg and for being not ignoring the trolls when I was told to,   and I' m sorry for causing all this bad stuff to happen.     Please accept my apologies. 

My work

I  have something I want to ask your opinion on.  

What do you guys think of my artwork and of my blog in general?   What things do you want to see more of?  And what are your favorite things about it?  Do you have a favorite photomanip or story which i've done?

I want your honest opinion,   and I want it to be nice and straight forward so please no trolling comments or anything.    I'm trying to put the whole being a troll's favorite target thing behind me now that EGY has been banned.

So what do you think of my artwork and what do you like about it?    Also what is your favorite thing about my blog?

And please pay no attention to the various rumours that were spread about me on metokur and ED - those aren't true and neither is anything in my ED article.

News

Hey there everyone,    Dr M here with some news.  

Okay on Tueday night,  my dvd of Blackadder:   The Ultimate Edition came,   and it's really great -  it's got bonus interviews  and other cool things.

Also I got a haircut today.

As for bad news unfortunately my mother is suffering from hemaroids and it may take a while for her to get better but I wish all the best.

Missing Vera

Out of the three women who visit me on Wednesdays -  Heather,   Gloria,   Vera and Betty there are two I really enjoy the most and those two are Heather and Vera,     Heather's a hell of an artist and face-painter (she's done most of the face paints you've seen in the photos)  and Vera has a great sense of humour and I enjoy every moment I spend with her.

However I dislike Gloria and Betty,    Gloria was okayish and nice but she wasn't fun enough,    so my parents fired her and we got Vera instead.     Betty just seems kind of annoying and bland,   but since Vera has been in the hospital for the last few weeks so Betty has been filling in.  

I'm really starting to miss Vera,   she is a lot of fun and now that she's out of the hospital and all -   I do hope that I will soon see her again.    

Blackadder dream

As you know I am a huge Blackadder fan,  i've watched the episodes on dvd and have The Whole Damn Dynasty scriptbook,   i have also had numerous Blackadder inspired dreams and have done numerous fanscripts including a vampire Blackadder script and a curse of Bat-Adder fanscript.  

I have always felt that i could relate to Blackadder in many ways and that I possibly might be a long lost Blackadder family member,   i've written two Blackadder transformation stories of the main character becoming Blackadder himself -  both of which are new installments of my TftW stories (now absolutely troll free).

And this dream of mine is one of the many Blackadder inspired dreams i've had, it is a pretty deep and epic one.   One of the other ones i've had has a big LOTR style battle in it.

It starts off with me getting ready to perform on stage in a play when i get a visitation from Mr Edmund Blackadder himself (in his Blackadder the third incarnation) who tells me that i am a long lost Blackadder descendant and that it's my destiny to be a cunning,  intellectual mastermind like the rest of the clan.   

I start slowly becoming more and more Blackadder-like with each day.  I even start to look like him and sound like him -  my friends try numerous ways to try and get me back to my normal self but i dismiss them all. 

Eventually i am left with a choice -  either accept that it is my destiny to become a BlackAdder or get a change of heart and get back to my normal self and return to my friends. 

After careful consideration i decide that bad guys have more so fun so i accept my fate and my transformation into a full blown Blackadder member completes itself as i slink off into the shadows with my own Baldrick following closely.

I plan to turn this little piece here into a story perhaps a two or four parter,  i've already got a Legend Of Blackadder Hall story in the works as well as Guardian of Blackadder Hall,  both of which are going to have a Blackadder TF and both of them are going to be set in Blackadder Hall in England.   I also plan to do one set in a history museum.    I also plan on doing a similar story to that weregrinch story The Cursed DVD except with a transformation into Edmund Blackadder and with a Blackadder DVD.

There's also a Blackadder Meets Jack Of All Trades crossover script that I plan on doing sometime with him meeting Jack Stiles/The Daring Dragoon (that's Bruce Campbell's Jack Of All Trades character).   I also plan on doing one set at the Alton Towers theme park

TftW: A Blackadder Surprise

This is the newest episode o my TftW,   it features someone special and the second use of a Blackadder themed transformation, of someone into Edmund Blackadder.    I hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it.

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It was a rather special evening in the Hanks household,  especially for James -  his daughter Mariana had just recieved some Yowies from trademe,  and she had planned something special as a way to thank him.  She knew what her father liked and what kind of sense of humor he had.

James had always been a British comedy fan,  and much like his daughter he was a fan of Rowan Atkinson,  his wife Jill had seen Rowan's live performances and both of them watched Blackadder when it first aired.  He hadn't heard much of Rowan's other works and disliked Mr Bean,  but he always adored the Blackadder series.

That evening while he was on his computer doing some buisness investments and checking his message,  a package arrived for him.

"Hmmm.... I wonder what it could be."   James thought.

He stopped what he was doing and decided to take a look at the package,  it was a fancy box with black and red material on it and a card with fancy old English writing on it.   He opened the package,  inside was a Blackadder fan's dream - a set of Blackadder figurines,  a copy of Blackadder: The Whole Damn Dynasty,  the Blackadder: Ultimate Edition remastered dvd set including Blackadder's Christmas Carol and Blackadder: The Cavalier Years,  a Blackadder inspired coat of arms which was signed by Rowan himself,  and a Blackadder graphic novel.

"These are wonderful.  I wonder who sent these."  James said to himself.

There was also something else in the package as well,  it was a mystery item and it seemed to be glowing -  he was about to take the item out to see what it was when black smoke came out of the package and begin to surround him as a familar song started playing.

"The sound of hoof beats across the glade.
Good folk, lock up your son and daughter.
Beware the deadly flashing blade.
Unless you want to end up shorter..."

As the smoke surrounded him,  he started changing -  first his clothes changed from modern clothes to 18th century attire -  black in colour - resembling a Blackadderian outfit and a black cape appeared,  he also grew taller and started becoming a lot more slender...

"Blackadder.. Blackadder
He rides a pitch black steed.
Blackadder,  Blackadder,  he's very bad indeed."

Slowly but surely he started to morph and resemble one of the many Edmund Blackadder incarnations,  his hair also turned from greyish white to black and grew into a similar style to one of the Blackadder incarnations.

"Black:  his gloves of finest mole.
Black:  his codpiece made of metal.
His horse is blacker than a vole.
His pot is blacker than his kettle."

His transformation progressed further as he morphed and started looking more and more like a Blackadder incarnation and less like himself,  his mind also began to change as his intelligence increased dramatically along with his wit,  his mind filled up with all sorts of historical Blackadderian knowledge of his ancestors and he became more cunning and crafty as his personality slowly became more Blackadder-like along with his voice starting to sound like Blackadder's voice and less like his own.

"Blackadder,  Blackadder.. with many a cunning plan.
Blackadder,  blackadder... you horrid little man."

As the song finished so did his transformation as his face finished morphing and now fully resembled Edmund Blackadder,  not only did he look like Blackadder, he also now had Blackadder's personality and his voice as well.   The smoke cleared up,  he went on over to the mirror and took a look -  not only did he look,  sound and act like Blackadder but he now WAS Blackadder.   He had been fully transformed into Edmund Blackadder.

"Well this is an interesting predicament."   James quipped in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

When his wife Jill came in to the study to see what was going on,  she didn't quite expect to see Edmund Blackadder standing there in the place of where her husband  was.

"Oh hello Mr Blackadder,  have you seen my husband anywhere?"  Jill inquired.

"I'd hate to be the one to tell you this... but I am your husband."  James responded in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

"No it can't be.  You're way too smart and cunning to be my husband,  my husband James is a total goof off."  Jill murmured.

"You silly thing,  I am your husband James."  James told her in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

"Really? You look and sound more like Blackadder to me."  Jill said, chuckling a little.

"Yes...really.  I've turned into Edmund Blackadder,  thanks to that mystery item in that package full of Blackadder stuff which is a dream come true for me."  James explained in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

"I see.  Well I like it, it's a nice refreshing change from your usual goofy self."   Jill said, smiling.

Jill then walked out of the study and went back upstairs to the kitchen,  a portly owl-like monster then flew into the study.

"I see you have received the package that was sent earlier."   The owl-like creature cooed.

"Who are you?"  James/Blackadder asked,  in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

"I am Chancellor of Blackbluedawg's monster gang.  And i'm here to transport you to someplace special."

"And where would that be?"  James/Blackadder inquired, in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

"You'll see.."  Chancellor responded.

With that Chancellor flapped his wings,  breathed in and out and let out a gasp of magical breath -  before spinning around like a human hurricane and transporting him into a rather posh looking English castle hallway.

"Where are we?"  James/Blackadder inquired,  in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

"That is an easy one,  we are in Blackadder Hall.   Home to the Blackadder family.  This is where your special surprise awaits."  Chancellor explained.

Chancellor then flew over to one of the doors with James/Blackadder following,  he then used his magical breath on the door to open it -  it looked rather dark and quiet,  that is until..

"Surprise!"  A group of people yelled out.

"Hit the lights Baldrick."   A woman instructed.

"Yes Miss H."  A male voice responded,  as he turned the lights on.

James/Blackadder turned around and saw that it was a party of sorts,  there were a rather distinguished group of guests at the table including a rather cheerful fellow who was a descendent of Prince George from Blackadder The Third,  and a short, smelly hairy man who was one of the newest members of the Baldrick family - he was even holding a basket with some turnips inside it.

"This party is for me?"  James/Blackadder exclaimed in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

"Yes..."  A young woman responded.

The young woman stood up, it was his daughter Mariana -  decked out in Queenie inspired attire with a tiara on her head.

"Mariana? You put this whole party together?"  James/Blackadder quipped in Edmund Blackadder's voice.  "I must say i'm impressed."

"Why thank you father,  I also had a bit of help from Baldrick and George here - and from all my friends and Chancellor."   Mariana responded.  "Oh...and Rowan Atkinson of course."

"How did you pull it off?"  James/Blackadder asked in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

"Well I knew you were a Blackadder fan like me,  so I told Chancellor who sent a message to Blackadder Hall -  the message was recieved by Baldrick and George - who then sent it to Rowan.  Rowan,  Baldrick,  and I along with Chancellor then thought of a cunning plan and made arrangements for a Blackadder themed celebration,  we chose Blackadder Hall here as it is the perfect place to have a Blackadder party,   Baldrick then helped write the invitations and Rowan and I helped with getting you the perfect present -  that package that arrived for you earlier was from me and him,  Rowan signed the Blackadder coat of arms,  I got the figures, the book and the dvd."   Mariana answered him.

"And what about the mystery item?"  James/Blackadder inquired in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

"The mystery item was Rowan and Baldrick's idea."  Mariana replied.  "And it was all part of our little cunning plan."

"Well you did such a splendid job."  James/Blackadder responded in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

"It is my little thank you gift to you.  Thank you for getting me the Yowies,  you're the best dad i could ever ask for."  Mariana said, smiling.

"You really think so?"  James/Blackadder inquired in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

"Of course i do,  no matter what you do i will always love you."   Mariana responded.  "I think you are wonderful.  And you are even more wonderful now that you're Blackadder and all."

"I concur."  A rather intelligent English sounding voice added.

The person who said it stepped out of the shadows,  it was Rowan Atkinson himself  dressed in a rather elegant Blackadderian costume.

"Rowan? What are you doing here?"  James/Blackadder asked in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

"I helped with organizing the celebration."  Mr Atkinson explained.  "Plus your daughter told me that you're a fan of mine."

"Why yes I am."  James/Blackadder responded in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

"Well that is splendid.  And now that you've become my famous Blackadder character and everything,  i can share with you some of my secrets and maybe teach you how to be a proper Blackadder."  Mr Atkinson told him.

"Oh that would be fantastic."  James/Blackadder exclaimed in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

The party went on all through the night and all sorts of Blackadder inspired festivities took place,  including a special live performance by Chancellor and the crawlspace monster gang -  performing their own rendition of the Blackadder theme tune,  as well as a grand banquet and a ball -  and followed by a Blackadder marathon starting with the first series all the way to Blackadder Goes Forth and to Blackadder's Christmas Carol,  and Blackadder Back and Fourth and Blackadder: The Cavalier Years.  

When the party was almost through, all of the guests left except for James/Blackadder, Rowan Atkinson, Baldrick,  George,  Mariana,  Chancellor and the other monster gang members.  

"This party has been amazing.  Thank you everyone."  James/Blackadder acknowledged in Edmund Blackadder's voice.

"It's not over yet."  Mr Atkinson quipped.  "There's still more where that came from.  Isn't that right Baldrick?"

"That's right mi'lord."  Baldrick responded.

"Absolutely."  George added.

Mariana then went into the grand throne room along with Chancellor and the monster gang members,  while Rowan stayed with James/Blackadder,  Baldrick and George. 

Rowan started teaching James/Blackadder all about the history of the Blackadder family and James/Blackadder started learning to get in touch with his more Blackadderian nature.   Including how to treat Baldrick and how to use witty Blackadderian insults.

And when their lesson was through,  James/Blackadder was now a true Blackadder family member.   Rowan stood there with a look of satisfication on his face,  feeling extremely proud of him.  

As for James - oops I mean the new Blackadder,  he became Rowan's apprentice and learned to follow in the footsteps of the other Blackadder family members before him,  he also grew very much used to being Blackadder and he helped carry on the legacy of the Blackadder family.

Remember the best kind of prize is often a surprise,  especially if your loved one is a british comedy fan and loves Blackadder -  a Blackadder surprise is even better than a regular surprise in that case.