The Gaston Superfans

There's a forum I visited regularly and that one forum is called Bittersweet and Strange, it's dedicated to Beauty And The Beast. There are several different kinds of fans that occupy there, fans of Belle are called Bellarians, fans of Beast are called Beasties, fans of Cogsworth are called Coggsies, Lumiere fans are called Lumies, and the most infamous are the fans of Gaston which are called Gastonians. I myself am a Gastonian, probably the most Gastonish gastonian around. I am Gastonian #342. A Gastonian's love for Gaston is contageous, once you've got it there's no turning back. We're like one big epidemic, sort of like a virus from one of those zombie movies but we don't turn people into brain-eating zombies like in Return Of The Living Dead.

Me and my friends have started our secret society of Gastonians, if you wish to join you're more than welcome to but you have to follow the gastonian code.

• It is illegal to say anything bad about Gaston.
  





• It is now illegal to say no to Gaston in anyway.
  
  


• It is now illegal to humilate Gaston in public.
  




• For females: It is now illegal to read when in the presence of Gaston.
  
  
  


• Valentine's Day shall now be named Everyone Loves Gaston Day. Where you are to worship him like if he was a god.
  
  
  
  





• For males: It is now illegal to say that you are better than him.
  
  
  
  





• It is illegal to make him look bad in anyway.
  
  
  
  





• From here on, boasting is now a state sport.
  
  
  
  





• The Gaston song will take the place of Happy Birthday as the birthday song.
  
  
  
  





• It is now illegal to make any wisecracks or really bad jokes about him and that includes making an insulting version of the Gaston song.
  
  
  
  





• A portrait or poster of Gaston should be hung-up on every wall.
  
  
  
  





• Everybody must have a Gaston shrine in their room.
  
  
  
  





• All Gaston Fan Club meetings and other matters at hand are to be held in the rec room also known as the Fortress Of Gastonitude.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  





• No Beasties (Beast fans) are allowed in the secret society Gastonians.
  
  
  
  





• To join the secret society of Gastonians, you must become a Gastonian yourself. To do this you must get bitten by one, after doing so you will undergo a painful American Werewolf In London style transformation. Just kiding, lol.
  
  
  
  





• Once you become a Gastonian, there is no turnin back once you're a Gastonian the only transformation options available are into Gaston himself, his super modes (such as Big wolfish werewolf Gaston, vampire Gaston and Beastman Gaston) or a hybrid of both yourself and him. All of this is optional.
  
  
  
  





• Never make Gaston mad.
  
  
  
  





• The town shall be renamed Gastonopolis.
  
  
  
  





• The most important rule of the secret society of Gastonians is that you must never mention it to any non Gastonian.
  
  
  
  





• Sucking up to Gaston is required.
  
  
  
  





• Obey all the other rules.
  
  
  
  Gastonishness is contageous. Looks like i've already been bitten by the Gaston bug. You know what they say....once bitten, twice shy ("Once Bitten, you will feel no pain boy, once bitten, singing in the rain boy...lightning starts, oh oh, hearts will be mine forever, gonna be mine forever, you won't feel the pain boy. you see the light, and hear the thunder, I need your touch it's a spell you put me under, been known to know you, gonna be mine forever and I aint lyin!"). From the looks of it I really am starting to become Gastonian- very gastonian indeed.

You see, us gastonians are a very unique breed. We are not like other fans of Beauty And The Beast. While most fans we know prefer the big hairy Beast, we like Gaston. When Belle fell for the beast, most people were like "Aaaw, isn't that sweet?'", we on the other hand were like "Big deal she fell in love with a big dumb hairy animal, so what?". We're different than the Bellerarians, Beasties, Cogsies, and Lumies- we're unique. We're the ones people never notice until it's too late. We're kind of like vampires except we don't evaporate when the sun hits us or turn into bats to make a quick getaway.

We call this our homage to Bruce Campbell, the image is of me as Gaston but with a difference. The right hand has been replaced by a chainsaw, a homage to the classic scene in Evil Dead 2 where Ash's left hand becomes possessed and he fights it and then cuts it off with a chainsaw- he then uses said chainsaw to fill in the spot of that stump where his left hand used to be. I also added a few scars on the face there, including an L shaped scar on his chin like the one Bruce himself has. Groovy.

How To Be A Good Gaston Fan

We present to you, lessons on how to be a Gastonian courtesy of our friends at bittersweet and strange.

#1: Never say something bad about Gaston when he’s in the room.
#1a: If you do say something bad about him, make sure none of his fans are around (they are such telltales!).
#2: When speaking to Gaston, use words of two syllables or less.
#3: Praise Gaston every other sentence.
#4: Do not talk about yourself at all when you are speaking to him.
#5: Show much interest in his hunting stories.
#6: Do whatever he tells you to do, without asking.
#7: If you are a woman, drool incessantly over him in his presence:
#8: If you are a woman, don’t read, but massage his feet.
#9: Don’t confuse him.
#10: Never mention you are better in something than Gaston (not even reading).
#11: Ask him to lift something heavy, flex his muscles or even if you can feel his muscles.
12. If you HAVE to turn down his proposal, figure out a way to do it that does not publicly humiliate him.
13. If you do follow Gaston around, make sure you have a mirror handy so that he can always keep himself as the perfect paragon he is.
14. Ask him how he keeps himself so devastingly handsome and what his daily regimen is to stay in such a flawless and gorgeous but very manly shape.
15. Be prepared to listen attentively to him as he rambles on and on incessantly about himself.
16. Should you get bored as he's talking about himself, never let him see that.
17. Never make Gaston angry. If you do, duck or get out of the way quickly !
18. Never disagree with him on anything.
19. If you are his rival for a girl's affections, DO NOT TURN YOUR BACK ON HIM!
20. If your birthday is close, keep in mind the one present he might remember to give you is a portrait_ of himself.
21. Like Death, Gaston should never be challenged to a game of chess. It might be dangerous for your health.
22. Help keep up Gaston's self esteem by telling him how gorgeous he looks... and stand him next to Lefou to accentuate this point!
23. Whenever he's down in the dumps, cheer him up with a rousing rendition of the Gaston song.
24. Never ever challenge him to a wrestling match, you will be sorry if you do.25. Never ever refer to him as vain, arrogant, or boastful. And never ever sing the song You're So Vain when in his presence (don't even think about it, and don't even consider humming it).
26. If you get the chance, ask him for an autograph.
27. Never ever say no to him.
28. Praise him at all times.
29. Never say there's anyone better than him.
30. Look up to him at all times and idolise him.
31. If you are the one person who can tolerate him for more than 10 seconds, you should hold on to him like grim death (which is not too far off btw)

Seinfeldian Conversations

Seinfeld has always been one of our favourite shows. Jerry Seinfeld is a really funny guy. Now as fans of Seinfeld, we are very good at doing Seinfeldian conversations which are conversations done in the style of well...Seinfeld. We'll tell you how you too can learn to do Seinfeldian conversations. We present to you Seinfeld 101.




These lessons will show you how to turn an ordinary conversation and turn it into a Seinfeldian conversation. You'l llearn how to amaze your friends and entertain them at the same time.

About Oz and Rangoon

We're going tell you some cool things about our friend/mentor Master Of Oz

Fun facts about him:

• His full name is Matthew D. Ozmodius.
  
• His nickname the Master Of Oz is based on the Yugioh monster of the same name which is a giant, green koala with boxing gloves, curly q mustache, a purple vest and a kangaroo's tail.
  
• He lives in a big, spectacular looking palace. It's the one with the smiling koala on it.
  
• He is the creator of Millitary Koalas and also the voice of Nigel in the show.
  
• He has druid-like powers of some sort.
  
• The animal form he turns into is a talking cartoon koala with butterfly wings.
  
• He is very intelligent and mysterious.
  
• He is also quite eccentric and is a billionaire.
  
• He is not only our friend, he is also our mentor.

• He specialises in fantasy themed parodies.

• His favourite tv show is Whose Line Is It Anyway? (both the uk and us versions). We often play our own version of the show and believe me, he is very good at it.

We cannot show you a picture of what he looks like because like Batman- he prefers to be mysterious. So here's what he would look like as one of the Millitary Koalas

Cool facts about Darth Rangoon:

• His full name is Tiberius S. Wilson
• He is a sith lord in training.
• He specialises in sci fi parodies.
• He is highly intelligent and knows martial arts.
• He owns the circus of fear.
• He's very good at the Star Wars roleplaying game.
• His favourite colour is black
• He has a pet rat

Horror films we've done

Most of the time we do animation, comedy, fantasy and sci fi films, but sometimes we do a bit of horror. Mostly horror comedies in the style of American Werewolf In London and Shaun Of The Dead.

Horror comedies we've done:

• Killer Koalas From Another World.
  
  
• Zombie Mutt.
  
  
• Teddy Scares.
  
  
• Mittens: The Cat From Hell.
  
  
• Easter, Bloody Easter.
  
  
• ManBelushi (a werebelushi one).
  
  
• National Lampoon's Curse Of The Werebelushi.
  
  
• Evil Jay series.
  
  
• Creepy Critters
  
  
• I Know What You Did Last Week.
  
  
  Horror comedies we've just released
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• An American Gastonian In Disneyland (That's the one where i turn into Gaston from batb).
  
  
• The Gators In The Sewers.
  
  
• Madness At The Arcade

• The Virus

Millitary Koalas Stuff- Collect Em All

We've got a great range of merchandise from our hit cartoon series Millitary Koalas.

Action Figures: Heroes.

These Millitary Koalas action figures are like no other. This is the heroes set of Millitary Koalas action figures. Military Koalas are freedom fighting marsupials who are cute but tough. The Millitary Koalas action figure sets are inspired by the intelligent toys from Small Soldiers.

• Sparky and Sparky Jr.
  


• Nigel
  


• Cher
  


• Blondie
  


• Sidney
  


• Cher
  


• Falco
  


• Dio
  


• Clark
  


• Elton
  


• Mozart (my character)
  


• Beethoven (my brother's character)
  


• Madonna (Andria's character, comes with exploding beer kegs)
  Action figures: Villains.
  


• Donny Van Dingo (the main bad guy, half man half dingo)
  


• Manogator (half man half aligator)
  


• Spiderella (the spiderlady)
  


• Morlock the dropbear and his goons.
  


• Zyrak, Spirit Of Darkness (Tyrone The Terrible's character)
  


• Great White Steve (the sharkman, Darth Rangoon's character)
  


• Cesil the lizard man.
  


• Howler (a marsupial werewolf also known as a thylacine)
  

games:

• Operation Thunder.
  


• Millitary Koalas the movie video game
  


• Marsupial Omega Mission,
  


• Millitary Koalas: Warzone (a fighting game with fully destructable enviroments).
  


• Marsupial Squadron (role playing game)
  


• Rescue Mission Alpha.
  

Books:

• Millitary Koalas: The Movie novelisation.
  
• Charge Into Battle (role playing game guidebook)
  
• Bravery Preveils (a story told from the point of one of the main characters)
  
• Character Database.
  
• Morlock's Trickery
  
• Heroes Journal
  
• Top Secret Database Factfiles
  
• Gizmos and Gadgets Compendium (a guide to the various weapons and gadgets used by the millitary koalas).
  

Graphic novels:

• Millitary Koalas: Rescue Mission Alpha.
  
• Millitary Koalas: The Movie.
  
• Down Under Thunder.
  
• Mysterious Mistress (the first appearance of Andria's character, believe us it's epic)
  
• Operation: Blitz (a satire of the Rambo films).
  
• Robot Double Trouble (Terminator spoof).
  
• Beware Of The Thylacine.
  

Millitary koalas merchandise

We've got a great range of merchandise from our hit cartoon series Millitary Koalas. You can find the action figures, cuddle buddies and exclusive movie toys in your local toy store, you can also find them in second hand stores, you can find the books and graphic novels in your nearest bookstore and the video games can be found at the nearest hardware store.

Action Figures: Heroes.

These Millitary Koalas action figures are like no other. This is the heroes set of Millitary Koalas action figures. Military Koalas are freedom fighting marsupials who are cute but tough. The Millitary Koalas action figure sets are inspired by the intelligent toys from Small Soldiers.

• Sparky and Sparky Jr.
  
• Nigel
  
• Cher
  
• Blondie
  
• Sidney
  
• Cher
  
• Falco
  
• Dio
  
• Clark
  
• Elton
  
• Mozart (my character)
  
• Beethoven (my brother's character)
  
• Madonna (Andria's character, comes with exploding beer kegs)
  Action figures: Villains.
  
• Donny Van Dingo (the main bad guy, half man half dingo)
  
• Manogator (half man half aligator)
  
• Spiderella (the spiderlady)
  
• Morlock the dropbear and his goons.
  
• Zyrak, Spirit Of Darkness (Tyrone The Terrible's character)
  
• Great White Steve (the sharkman, Darth Rangoon's character)
  
• Cesil the lizard man.
  
• Howler (a marsupial werewolf also known as a thylacine)
  

games:

• Operation Thunder.
  
• Millitary Koalas the movie video game
  
• Marsupial Omega Mission,
  
• Millitary Koalas: Warzone (a fighting game with fully destructable enviroments).
  
• Marsupial Squadron (role playing game)
  
• Rescue Mission Alpha.
  

Books:

• Millitary Koalas: The Movie novelisation.
  
• Charge Into Battle (role playing game guidebook)
  
• Bravery Preveils (a story told from the point of one of the main characters)
  
• Character Database.
  
• Morlock's Trickery
  
• Heroes Journal
  
• Top Secret Database Factfiles
  
• Gizmos and Gadgets Compendium (a guide to the various weapons and gadgets used by the millitary koalas).
  

Graphic novels:

• Millitary Koalas: Rescue Mission Alpha.
  
• Millitary Koalas: The Movie.
  
• Down Under Thunder.
  
• Mysterious Mistress (the first appearance of Andria's character, believe us it's epic)
  
• Operation: Blitz (a satire of the Rambo films).
  
• Robot Double Trouble (Terminator spoof).
  
• Beware Of The Thylacine.
  

Living Doll

Ever seen the Child's Play movies? Well me and my brother have had more than a few experiences with toys that were just like that. We're going to tell you what they were:

• In 1989, my friend's little cousin got a set of Fireman Sam dolls for xmas. Now believe it or not I was absolutely terrified of Fireman Sam when I was a kid- sure he was a friendly fire fighter but I swore that he was actually an arsonist or serial killer (same goes for Postman Pat and Bob the Builder too). Anyway my best friend's little cousin Tazmin got a set of dolls of the main characters as a xmas present from her mother. I freaked out when I first saw them- there was something creepy about that one doll of Sam- the way it kept looking at me with that blank look in it's eyes. It was like something that crawled out of the uncanny valley. It was one of the scariest things I had ever seen. I couldn't bear to look at it- it was so frighteningly. In my eyes Fireman Sam was an utter creep, he and his eeeevil show made me afraid of fire for life (Curse you Fireman Sam, Curse You!) . It was only made worse when a guy dressed in a Fireman Sam mascot costume showed up at the school my brother and I went to when we were 12- the real life version of Sam was even creepier than the one on tv. I mean, it was THE most disturbing thing ever, he was behaving in a strange, creepy way. I'm not making this up. So, when our friend came over once for Thanksgiving we threw his cousin's Fireman Sam doll set over the fench and into our neighbour's yard (we also burned the various Fireman Sam merchandise my friend's little cousin had)- where some of them were ripped to shreds by the neighbour's dog Monstro. The week later, my best friend's mother found the dismembered Fireman Sam doll in the trash, it had an eye missing, an arm that looked like it was falling off and a chewed up hat. That's the last we ever saw of those creepy dolls.
  
• I went to a cousin's house one day and my cousin had this doll of The Grinch. It looked like the one from the cartoon and it had that smile on it's face. And everytime I walked past it I swore that it was watching me. That doll creeped the hell out of me. I told my mom about it and she asked my cousin's mom if they could hide the Grinch doll someplace where it wouldn't bother me so she put it in the basement. A couple of hours later I turn around and I see the doll right in the place it was before she put it in the basement which was really spooky. They finally got rid of that doll in the end, they sold it on Ebay. I would have liked it more if it was the Jim Carrey version of the grinch instead of the cartoon one.
  
• My brother had a similar experience with a Barney the Dinosaur plush doll once, I can't remember it all but my brother will be more than happy to tell you what happened. The person who owned it decided to get rid of it by giving it away to some less fortunate sap. Good thing too because that thing creeped me out to the max, it kept singing "I love youuu, you looove me, we're a happy family" over and over again- and at random too, it was just so creepy.
  
• Our first toy inventions were a singing koala named Matilda, a sheep named Charlene and a black cat named Cleopatra. When you pressed Matilda's paws the tune of Waltzin Matilda would play, when you gave Bobby a squeeze he had let out a soft bleating sound and when you squeezed the cat she would let out a cute meowing sound. Those three were invented in 1991 and they worked just fine. We played with them for 5 years then forgot about them. Then in 2001 we decided to get them out again to see if they still worked, but when we did...the tune that came out of Matilda wasn't cheerie like it was in 1991, it sounded warped and kind of like a ironic nursery ryme like the ones who hear it films like Poultergeist, the sheep sounded like someone getting hacked to death, and the cat's meow was now deepened and quite demonic, almost like the growl of the wolf from American Werewolf In London. We didn't get rid of them though- we kept them despite their malfunctions.

We made copies of Matilda, Bobby and Cleo. You might be able to find them in second hand stores, they're quite valuable. Not only are they cute but they're good for scaring away intruders with- plus Cleo has light up eyes.

We're Back A Dinosaurs Story

One of our favourite non disney animated films is now on dvd. It's called We're Back A Dinosaur Story. It's based on the children's book of the same name. The main characters are a group of talking dinosaurs- and their leader is named Rex- and no- it's not the one from Toy Story.

In case you wondering, this is what Rex looks like:

We have been waiting ages for this movie to come out on dvd and now that it has we're very pleased. We've got some We're Back cuddle buddies. We also have a large electronic plush toy of Rex- we gave one of those to Chumsley as a birthday present.

There's also another toy we did for our We're Back range, it's a Dr Screweye's Eccentric Circus kit, this kit included stuff like a hynposis wheel, a clown nose, and various other circus type stuff- this is also one of the recalled toys we forgot to mention, the reason this one got recalled was because someone used the hynposis wheel as a mass mind control device.

How to survive scary situations

We present to you the How To Survive A Scary Situation lists:


The original:

• When it seems that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
  
  
• If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed necrophilia or satanic practices in your house, move away immediately.
  
  
• Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
  
  
• Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
  
  
• If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take some time to kill them, so be prepared.
  
  
• When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or go it alone.
  
  
• As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
  
  
• Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.
  
  
• If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately, if you value your life.
  
  
• If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
  
  
• Do not take *ANYTHING* from the dead.
  
  
• If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.
  
  
• Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.
  
  
• If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, although you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
  
  
• If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination with blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.
  
  
• Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
  
  
• If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
  
  
• Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chain saws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.
  

Ours:

• If you have access to a teleportation pod, be careful about what goes on in with you. If anything such as a fly, wasp or other member of the insect species goes in there with you the results could be dangerous.
  
• Don't fool around with oujia boards.
  
• Never EVER under any circustances stay at any hotel which bares a resemblance to the Bates Motel from Psycho.
  
• If your best friend or older/younger sibling turns into a vampire/werewolf or whatever monster it is that bit him/her, don't just stand there looking like a scaredy cat. Run as quickly as possible and scream like a maniac.
  
• Avoid the following numbers: 4 (this number is one the chinese consider bad luck), 9 (this was the cursed number John Lennon was ascioated with) 23, 13 (especially if it's connected to the weekday Friday) and 666.
  
• In case of zombie related emergency hide in an abandend shopping mall.
  
• In case of evil dead related zombie emergency call Ashley J.Williams.
  

• In case of vampire related emergencies- call Buffy.

• In case of ghost related emergencies- call the Ghostbusters.

• If the phone rings all by itself and there's no one there- do not answer it. Chances are there is a creepy voice at the other end of that phone that either says "Do you like scary movies?" or "You're gonna die in 7 days!".
  
• Never buy toys from a strange man in a dark alley. Chances are those toys are ALIVE and will probably attempt to kill you just like Chucky from Child's Play.
  
• Never buy a pet from a strange man in a dark alley.
  
• If you do a buy a pet from a strange man in a dark alley. Remember...DON'T expose it to sunlight or it will die, DON'T get it soaking wet because get it wet will cause it to multiply and NEVER EVER feed it after midnight doing this will cause the creature to mutate into a monster.
  
• If you see a suspicious looking stranger with a striped sweater, clawed gloves, a fedora hat and severely burnt skin- back away slowly. Chances are that's Freddy Krueger.
  
• Never ever go camping at a place called Camp Crystal Lake.
  
• If you're an American tourist, never go down the london moors at night.
  
• If there is a tyranosaurus rex on the prowl, don't make any sudden movements.
  
• If your older sibling is a boy and is named Norman, be warned-he may be a future serial killer.
  
• If your creepy cousin is a girl and is named Regan, be warned. She might be possessed.
  
• If your creepy cousin is a boy and is named Damien, be warned. He may be the son of Satan.
  
• If you and a bunch of friends on are being chased by a vicious tyranosaurus rex while you're in a jeep- tell the driver these three important words: "Must go faster!".
  
• Never ever steal anything from a dead person. Especially if it is an item that they treasured the most when they were alive. Chances are they are most likely going to rise from the grave and wreak their ghastly revenge on you unless you give it back.
  
• Never ever wake the dead. Even as a joke.
  
• When things get really really horrible, never say "Well at least it can't get any worse!". Because things WILL get worse.
  
• Never ever visit an abandoned amusement park at night. It's probably abandonend for a reason. Chances are that either some strange virus hacked all the rides or all the machines went berserk and attacked some of the staff.
  
• Never go on fishing expeditions to a lake/ocean that has had reports of shark attacks or swamp monster sightings.
  
• Don't go surfing at a beach which has had reports of shark attacks.
  
• Remember not to fall asleep in case of Freddy Krueger related emergencies. If you do, you're pretty much doomed.

Jay's final show

Well folks, Jay Leno's final tonight show episode is today. This is his last one before he surrenders the show to Conan "Daddy Long Legs" O Brian. But don't worry he's still staying on NBC, he's got his own upcoming show called the Jay Leno Show. I've been told it's going to have some of Jay's tonight show material in it. Let's wish Jay good luck with his new show on Monday.

Ode to Jeff Goldblum in The Fly

This is a song parody we did. It's called BrundleFly I have Become, it's a parody of the song Animal I've Become by Three Days Grace. It's an ode to the 1986 remake of The Fly.

I can't escape this hell

So many times I've tried

I can't fight the insect inside.

Veronica, get me through this nightmare.

I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me

No one will ever change this Brundlefly I have become.

Help me believe it's not the real me

Somebody help me swat this Brundlefly.

This Brundlefly, this Brundlefly.

I can't escape myself

So many times I've lied

But there's this bug inside.

Veronica, get me through this nightmare

I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me

No one will ever change this Brundlefly I have become.

Help me believe it's not the real me

Somebody help me swat this Brundlefly.

This Brundlefly, this Brundlefly.

Help me believe it's not the real me

Somebody help me swat this Brundlefly

Veronica, help me through this nightmare

I can't control myself

Please wake me from this nightmare

I can't escape this hell

This Brundlefly

This Brundlefly

This Brundlefly

So what if you can see the darkest side of me

No one will ever change this Brundlefly I have become.

Help me believe it's not the real me

Somebody help me swat this Brundlefly.

This Brundlefly, this Brundlefly.

Help me believe it's not the real me

Somebody help me swat this Brundlefly.

This Brundlefly I have become

Bad date signs

You know you are having a really bad date if...

1. Your boyfriend accidentally drops the car keys down the drain.
2. When your boyfriend/girlfriend starts turning into a monster.
3. Your girlfriend is actually a transvestite.
4. When your date turns out to br really unattractive.
5. You rip your pants and embarrass yourself.
6. The guy you're currently dating turns out to be a monster.
7. Your incredibly pretty girlfriend turns out to be a real b***h.
8. When your really handsome boyfriend turns out to be a real jerk.
9. When the guy you're dating is the one of the dorkiest guys in school.
10. When your girlfriend's parents show up.
11. When your boyfriend's parents show up.
12. When both of you bring weapons and pets.
13. When the guy you love turns out to be an evil maniac escaped from prison.
14. When your date is actually an alien.
15. When the teacher is watching.
16. When your arch nemesis tries to steal your boy/girlfriend from you.
17. When your parents happen to be there and they start yelling at you afterwards.
18. When your boyfriend/girlfriend cheats on you.
19. When pirates show up and kidnap your girlfriend.
20. When aliens arrive and abduct the both of you.
21. When the date turns out to be a vampire.
22. When your date brings her lawyer with her.
23. When it's live on the internet and everyone is watching.
24. When you discover nude photos of your girlfriend.
25. When your girlfriend/boyfriend is undead.
26. When people are spying on you.
27. When your boyfriend is a giant fly monster
28. When the guy/gal you're dating turns out to be the son/daughter of your work boss.
29. When the girl you're dating turns out to be the daughter of your nosey neighbour.
30. When papparazi jump out of the bush and start taking pictures of you and your girlfriend/boyfriend.
31. When your boyfriend/girlfriend takes off his/her face to reveal a disfigured monster with evil glowing snake eyes and a snout.
32. When your boyfriend/girlfriend just wants you for your money.
33. When the cops show up and arrest your boyfriend.
34. When your boyfriend/girlfriend forgets to show up.
35. When the restraunt is owned by an evil megalomanic who wants to rule the world.
36. When your girlfriend suddenly turns into a dog.
37. When some creepy looking maniac sneaks up behind you and tries to kill you.
38. When your girlfriend turns out to be part spider.
39. When it starts raining as soon as you get there.
and finally...
40. When everyone starts looking at you and your girlfriend with evil glowing eyes and wants to eat both of you up.

Cool dreams I had

I have had some incredible dreams. Most of them have had some really awesome stuff. We're going to tell you about a couple of them

1#: The Coolest Videogame Ever

This first one is where my brother invented the coolest videogame ever. It was a fighting game where you could upload ANY character on there- kind of like that Mugen program. We sent up a martial arts dojo arena, and had the Madonna koala from Millitary Koalas fight against Bison from Street Fighter, her special attack is where she threw exploding beer kegs at her opponent. Andria, you would be glad to know that your character won. The next match we set up was Ash from the Evil Dead films VS our own lantern jawed hero pal Chinstar. Funniest match was the Jay Leno VS Conan O Brian match.


2#: The Mean,Lean, Chin Machine

This one was kind of a transformation themed one. In this one the villains are the stars and not the good guys. You see our old rival Stefanie plays the role of a spoiled, arrogant heiress. Tyrone the terrible plays the role of the main villain- a coniving former advisor to the heiress. My brother and I play his right hand men. My character discovers this mask that looks exactly like the Jay Leno halloween mask we have in our game room. I put the mask on and become the Evil Jay character (which kind of looks like regular Jay Leno but with black hair, vampire teeth, claws and grey skin). Using this to my advantage, I capture the heiress's parents and her friends and take them back to the bossess lair. I then steal the amulet and give it to my boss- who puts it on and becomes realy powerful. When the heiress comes to "rescue" her friends and family- it's already too late, the boss is almost at his most powerful state. I give my boss some sort of elixir, he drinks it and turns into some cool looking human/reptile hybrid thing. I pull the lever and she falls into the pit- where she is eaten by the sharkmen down below. She really deserved that.

3#: UltraPet.

This one is where me and my brother create the most awesome pet ever- UltraPet. A pet that was part panther, part wolf and had big black wings- it could fly and also swim and breathe underwater. It could also turn invisible. It was a pretty awesome pet.

Living Doll Nightmare:

Ever seen the Child's Play movies? Well me and my brother have had more than a few experiences with toys that were just like that. We're going to tell you what they were:

• In 1989, my friend's little cousin got a set of Fireman Sam dolls for xmas. Now believe it or not I was absolutely terrified of Fireman Sam when I was a kid- sure he was a friendly fire fighter but I swore that he was actually an arsonist or serial killer (same goes for Postman Pat and Bob the Builder too). Anyway my best friend's little cousin Tazmin got a set of dolls of the main characters as a xmas present from her mother. I freaked out when I first saw them- there was something creepy about that one doll of Sam- the way it kept looking at me with that blank look in it's eyes. It was like something that crawled out of the uncanny valley. It was one of the scariest things I had ever seen. I couldn't bear to look at it- it was so frighteningly. In my eyes Fireman Sam was an utter creep, he and his eeeevil show made me afraid of fire for life (Curse you Fireman Sam, Curse You!) . It was only made worse when a guy dressed in a Fireman Sam mascot costume showed up at the school my brother and I went to when we were 12- the real life version of Sam was even creepier than the one on tv. I mean, it was THE most disturbing thing ever, he was behaving in a strange, creepy way. I'm not making this up. So, when our friend came over once for Thanksgiving we threw his cousin's Fireman Sam doll set over the fench and into our neighbour's yard (we also burned the various Fireman Sam merchandise my friend's little cousin had)- where some of them were ripped to shreds by the neighbour's dog Monstro. The week later, my best friend's mother found the dismembered Fireman Sam doll in the trash, it had an eye missing, an arm that looked like it was falling off and a chewed up hat. That's the last we ever saw of those creepy dolls.
  
• I went to a cousin's house one day and my cousin had this doll of The Grinch. It looked like the one from the cartoon and it had that smile on it's face. And everytime I walked past it I swore that it was watching me. That doll creeped the hell out of me. I told my mom about it and she asked my cousin's mom if they could hide the Grinch doll someplace where it wouldn't bother me so she put it in the basement. A couple of hours later I turn around and I see the doll right in the place it was before she put it in the basement which was really spooky. They finally got rid of that doll in the end, they sold it on Ebay.
  
• My brother had a similar experience with a Barney the Dinosaur plush doll once, I can't remember it all but my brother will be more than happy to tell you what happened. The person who owned it decided to get rid of it by giving it away to some less fortunate sap. Good thing too because that thing creeped me out to the max, it kept singing "I love youuu, you looove me, we're a happy family" over and over again- and at random too, it was just so creepy.
  
• Our first toy inventions were a singing koala named Matilda, a sheep named Charlene and a black cat named Cleopatra. When you pressed Matilda's paws the tune of Waltzin Matilda would play, when you gave Bobby a squeeze he had let out a soft bleating sound and when you squeezed the cat she would let out a cute meowing sound. Those three were invented in 1991 and they worked just fine. We played with them for 5 years then forgot about them. Then in 2001 we decided to get them out again to see if they still worked, but when we did...the tune that came out of Matilda wasn't cheerie like it was in 1991, it sounded warped and kind of like a ironic nursery ryme like the ones who hear it films like Poultergeist, the sheep sounded like someone getting hacked to death, and the cat's meow was now deepened and quite demonic, almost like the growl of the wolf from American Werewolf In London. We didn't get rid of them though- we kept them despite their malfunctions.
  

We made copies of Matilda, Bobby and Cleo. You might be able to find them in second hand stores, they're quite valuable. Not only are they cute but they're good for scaring away intruders with- plus Cleo has light up eyes.

Artistic Roll Call

Disney really HAS gone off the artistic roll call. It used to be such a wholesome company. The animated cartoons they aired on the Disney Channel during the 1990's were marvelous and the animated films they've done throughout the years are magical. But nowadays all I see on the Disney Channel is this teeny bop garbage like Hannah Montana, That's So Raven, Cory In The House, Lizzie McGuire, Suite Life Of Zack and Cody/Suite Life On Deck, Wizards Of Waverly Place and worst of all the whole damm High School Musical franchise. I've had the misfortune of having to listening to some of the songs from the HSM soundtrack (both 1 and 2) and honestly....they made my ears bleed. None of the kids in those movies have any real talent. I don't get why some girls think Zac Effron is attractive- he is NOT at all attractive in my opinion- he looks like he's the bastard offspring of Calista Flockheart and the Cryptkeeper. And Ashley Tinsdale looks like she's kind of wererat and her nose is fake just like Michael Jackson's is. Vannessa Anne Hudgens looks too much like one of those creepy Kardashian sisters. I cannot describe how replusive I think Lucas Grebeel looks. And Corbin Bleu looks a little too much like an africian american version of Carrot Top. I hated the first movie, and I loathed the sequel, I also despised the third movie. Now I hear there's a fourth one in the movie....oh when will it end? Also I loathe the Jonas Brothers, they haven't got an ounce of talent in them- and I hated their movie Camp Rock- it was an obvious blatant rip-off of the Jack Black comedy School Of Rock. And as for Miley Cyrus, the only reason why she is famous in the first place is because her father is country rocker Billy Ray Cyrus. It seems to me that she possessess none of the talent her father has. This is why I prefer Nickelodeon to Disney Channel any day of the week and that is because unlike Disney Channel's teenbop rejects- Nickelodeon's stars actually DO have talent. We like the characters too including Spongebob, The Mighty B, Fairly OddParents, Rocko's Modern Life, and Rugrats. Our favourite live action nick shows are Icarly, Drake and Josh, The Amanda Show, Kenan and Kel, All That and Are You Afraid Of The Dark (which we liked better than Fox Kid's rival show Goosebumps). Our favourite nick stars include Devon Workheiser, Miranda Cosgrove, Amanda Bynes, Drake Bell and Josh Peck. He's come a looooooooooong way since his Nickelodeon days. He's changed A LOT too. He used to be quite a cute, chubby boy. But now look at him- he's simply beautiful. Have you heard of or seen The Wackness? He's in that movie and he is very good.

For those who are wondering, this is what Josh Peck looks like now:

The Buzz About Bees

Today's post is dedicated to the memory of Jerry the bee. Jerry was a very special pet, he was one of the first ones we ever had. He was named after Jerry Seinfeld, in fact we had a whole colony of bees named after characters from Seinfeld- the queen was named Elaine. Sadly Jerry's life ended in November 2007- around the time Bee Movie arrived in cinemas.

Bees are the most hardworking creatures in the animal kingdom. They work extra hard to give us the one thing that people just can't get enough of- honey. They gather nectar from flowers, then take the nectar back to the hive with them and give it to the queen- said next is then made into that sweet honey we like so much.

Bees work VERY VERY hard and have been making honey for about 27 million years or more as this humourous quote from the 2007 animated film Bee Movie states:

"Trudy: And you'll be happy to know that bees as a species haven't had a day off in 27 billion years. Whew!

Barry B. Benson: So you'll just work us to death?

Trudy: We'll sure try."

Bees are very hardworkers. But recently there has been a shortage of the little these guys and it's been putting them in danger of near exstinction. We need bees because they are very important- their job is one that they are very skilled at and one that they'll keep doing forever and forever. Despite what Laymon T. Montgomery (voice of John Goodman) says about them in Bee Movie, bees are rather talented at they do. Bees are skilled at honey making and that's a fact. Bees are very special and important- without them we wouldn't have honey- and without them the flowers would wilt away and die and we wouldn't have any fruit either. Also without bees and their honey we wouldn't have such breakfast cereals such as Honey Nut Cheerios and Sugar Puffs which was my absolutely favourite cereal as a kid, although those ads featuring the Honey monster creeped the hell out of me, especially the ones where the kids actually turned INTO the creature, the honey monster scared the heck out of me in general- I had frequent nightmares with him in them for weeks because of those commercials- although my fear of the honey monster got worse when one of the more later ones featuring said honey monster mentioned that they had free Goosebumps bookmarks inside special packs.

We owe the bees for everything that they have done for us. We should thank them for the honey they have given us and for all the work they've done with helping flowers grow. Bees truly are amazing creatures. They work together to do what they do best and that is make honey. We published a children's book based on the story of the friendship we had with one of our very first pets Jerry the bee- we call it A Boy And His Bees. It's a heartwarming tale of friendship, discovery, caring for others and teamwork. Much like Nick Jr's famous trio the Wonderpets, bees use teamwork to work together- we could learn something from those bees. If we all worked together we could make the earth a safer place to live.

This is a plush toy of Barry B. Benson from Bee Movie. It's not one of our own but we would like to own this one. It's a talking one, one that says lines from the movie and has the actual voice of Jerry Seinfeld, it also makes buzzing noises when you squeeze his stomach and his wings flutter. We hope to get this one in our collection sometime. If you see this doll, be sure to tell us.

You should buy/rent Bee Movie, it's a really cute, fun movie. Me and my brother loved it as we are both huge fans of Jerry Seinfeld. We also have numerous Seinfeld Cuddle Buddies including some talking ones of Jerry. There's also quite a few ones we've done of Barry from Bee Movie- one of them is a talking one called Dress Up Fun Barry which you can dress in all sorts of outfits like in the video game. We've done a Bee Movie cartoon series spinoff. It can be seen on our tv channel the Awesome TV Network. It airs every afternoon at 1:30 pm.

We also did an animated action cartoon show about a group of superhero bees- it's called The Honey Bee Squad. It airs at 2:pm.

In short, bees are beea-utiful.

The Day Amiright Jumped The Shark

I used to be a parodist on Amiright, i'm sure you all know that. It used to be a decent site until people started posting political parodies. Now I just can't stand politics and politicians in general- politicians have got a reputation recently for being two-faced liars who stab you in the back. My friend Andria used to be a nice woman until.... the problem was that they bribed her and tempted her with promises that they didn't keep- the tempted her with cds and all the beer she could drink. They made her an offer she couldn't refuse. She should have turned them down when she had the chance. They promised her unlimited power and freedom-she was given the power but not the freedom. She's quite a nice person really, but all that power turned her into a power-mad monstrosity. she went the way almost every Disney villain goes- she became a Complete Monster. I became very worried and concerned about her, I tried calling out to her but there was no reply,she wasn't there, it was like she were dead or something. Oh how I wanted to help her get back to the way she used to be before Amiright made her their tool. I tried telling ChuckyG and his cohorts to turn her back to normal and to let her go but they didn't listen. I tried numerous ways to turn her back into her normal not monstrous self but nothing seemed to work and I was forced to watch as her rein of terror continued further. She really hit rock bottom when she got me banned from the site. She was given all the power in the world, she could have used it for good but sadly....she had to use it for evil. That site jumped the shark several months after I left. She did something that she should have known was wrong, and you broke my heart. Having unlimited power is a great thing, but with great power comes great responsibilty. She should have used that power responsibily. I forgive her for it though- and luckily I know of a few ways that she can redeem herself. Our close friend the Master Of Oz has a new self help book out titled The Path To Discovery,

I myself had a situation like that one happen to me. Now I don't usually reveal to this anyone, but when we making the film version of our hit production Leno- I developed an allergic reaction to the makeup I had to wear when I was playing the part of Jay-and mind you this was not like any normal allergic reaction where you swell up or get itchy- oh no, this was much worse. This allergic reaction to said makeup caused me to turn into an evil wereleno and this is what I looked like as one:

Now Chinstar is also a Wereleno but he is a heroic one, he's been one for a really long time.

My transformations into one were very painful, nightmarish and almost took 3 hours to complete. Did I mention how painful the chin growing part was? The part where my chin elongated and stretched out to become Jay's chin was very painful. The chin had a mind of it's own too. Everytime I returned back to my human form the chin didn't want to go back to normal- so at completely innoputune moments that chin would grow back on my face again afterwards- and that was really painful. Unlike Chinstar, when I was a wereleno I was an evil one- unfortunately. This caused me and Chinstar to fall out and become arch enemies. We had to fight each other. I had no control of my actions or my powers when in wereleno form because unlike Chinstar- I was evil. It's like that Three Days Grace song Animal I've Become. Although scarily enough, that wereleno still manifests himself in my nightmares. My most frequent one is where I'm looking in the mirror in the bathroom or a similar reflective object and see that lantern jawed monstrosity the wereleno starring back at me. Horrified at what I see, I smash the mirror with a baseball bat in a fit of rage against the reflection. And that is also why I have an aversion to mirrors or any other reflective object.

I'm not a wereleno anymore thank goodness, but I still have that nasty chinshaped mark on my left shoulder from the time Jay rammed me really hard with his chin. This was also another cause of me becoming an evil wereleno. The mark would always glow when the painful transformation was taking place or just about to start. But these days it hardly glows- the reason why...i'm not a wereleno anymore. I just cover the mark up with skin tone makeup. This is because the damm thing just won't come off- I've tried washing it off but that didn't work and i've tried numerous other ways but those ones didn't work either.

I Was A Villainous WereLeno

Here's a little something you didn't know about me. I used to be an evil wereleno. This is what I looked like as one.

Concidentally my best friend Sam Leno aka Chinstar is one of these but he's a heroic one. There are many causes for how I became one.

• During one tonight show appearance of ours, I accidentally said something which offended Jay and he rammed me really hard with his chin. Leaving a rather nasty, red chinshaped mark on my left shoulder. It used to glow when my traumatic transformations into a wereleno usually took place. I still have that chinshaped mark on my left shoulder except it doesn't glow anymore because i'm not a wereleno anymore.


• One of the Jay Leno Playtime Friend prototypes got mad when I refused to play with it so it went all evil on me and then zapped me with a special laser blast from it's eyes- resulting in me becoming the wereleno.


• A lab experiment gone wrong ala Jeff Goldblum in The Fly. I recall that I was testing out that new machine that gives you superpowers. I wanted to have the same superpowers as Chinstar- I kind of did, but something went wrong. Instead of becoming a good wereleno like Chinstar is, I became an evil one- the computer must have misinterpeted one of my instructions.


• Some kind of strange new medical condition. I may have caught it from Chinstar's evil twin brother.


• Some kind of bizzare allergic reaction to the makeup I wore when I played Jay in Leno.

Let me tell you, my transformations INTO a wereleno were quite painful, traumatic and nightmarish. It also took almost 3 hours to complete. It was the most tortorous thing that had ever happened to me. Somehow I lived through it and I kind of got used to it. Unfortunately because I was an evil wereleno and not a hero like Chinstar, I had no control of my actions while I was in this state- it's like that song Animal I've Become by Three Days Grace. And also sadly, me and Chinstar fell out became enemies because of this- he's a hero wereleno and I was an evil one so we became bitter enemies. We had to fight eachother. Mind you, Chinstar's transformations are a LOT more pleasant than mine ever were. Well Chinstar is a professional superhero and he's had worse happen to him. I couldn't handle a second of it. Having Chinstar's powers was cool but it just couldn't handle the wereleno transformation proccess. Why is it that good guy werelenos have their transformations nice and easy while the bad guy ones are always painful, horrifying and scary?

Oh thank god, i'm not a wereleno anymore. Hmmm...I wonder how I got turned back into my reguglar self again.

Who Is Annie Are You Okay?

The whole me getting banned from amiright thing was not really my fault as you already know. Im innocent of all charges. My ban was unfair and unjust. For I am not such a bad person, I am just misuderstood. It was the work of a mysterious person by the name of Annie Are You Okay. Me and my brother had ALWAYS been huge Jay Leno fans, having met the guy several times- almost every day- we're close friends. But Annie's little parody kind of ruined that. Her parody titled Leno- which is a parody of Luka by Suzanne Vega was supposedly about Jay but it kind of creeped us out. It had kind of a horror movie vibe to it. It kind of made us think differently about our close pal Mr Leno. It kind of made us think that he was evil and out to get us. The song gave us nightmares for weeks- and in them Jay was out to get us. We got all worked up because of that song- it kept us up awake at night. But we forgive her for writing that song.



Here's a couple of things we thought were wrong with it:

• The lyrics. The lyrics were a tad on the creepy side and most of the stuff wasn't even remotely true. "My name is Leno, i’m a late night talk show hostI have some crazy fansProb’ly have seen some of their posts. They watch too much TV at nightAnd speculate on my future plight. Think they need a few more meds. Think they need a few more meds.Think they need a few more meds. I think they’re tad obsessive. Frankly they all frighten me I mean, I know I’m impressive, but really man can't you see?". Now the REAL Jay Leno would never say ANYTHING like that about us (because we're his closest pals, we can be frequently seen in the background during the Jaywalking segments, my brother's the one wearing the t shirt with Jack Nicholson doing the Heeeere's Johnnny face on it, i'm the one wearing the one with our company logo on the back). And as for the "I know i'm impressive" line, the real Jay would never say that- he's not THAT vain.
• The portrayal of Jay. The characterisation of Jay in this song is NOTHING like the real Jay at all. Come to think of it, this one is a litte TOO EVIL. It's like she turned him into a vampire. Which ironically inspired my portrayal of Jay's evil twin/darkside Evil Jay in our production of Leno.
• It makes me come across as a villain "If only they took some more time. To make random verses rhyme. Listen to Agrimorfee. Has a point, Agrimorfee. Listen to Agrimorfee". Okay, first of all, the real Jay knows nothing about Amiright or the people who run it so he would never say anything like that. Second of all that song makes me come across as a villain which I don't like. What is the author trying to tell the people reading it? Is the author trying to tell them that i am the ultimate evil and must be avoided like the plague? I don't like the sound of that.
• The negative vibe. The song gave off a rather negative vibe about us and Jay. Especially the lyrics. Halfway through the song it goes like this: "I don’t think they’re okayWhen they write about my chin. Pretty sure there is no way. Their musical hits ol’ Broadway. Oh won’t you please leave me alone. Oh please god just throw me a bone. Get these wackos off the site. Get these wackos off the site. Get these wackos off the site." Most of those happen to be things that the REAL Jay Leno would never say or think about us. We know him and have met him several times, we went on his show to promote our production Leno- we even showed a clip from the film version that also came out that same month. Jay was VERY touched by my portrayal of him, he said it was very heartwarming and charming. He gave him praise for the role. I won a Tony for it. Secondly, the real Jay Leno doesn't mind chin-jokes, he's been taking it on the chin for years (no pun intended) and it's the in the title of his autobiography...Leading With My Chin. His lantern jaw of justice is his most famous feature- he even pokes fun of it on the Fairly Odd Parents where he is the voice of a superhero named Crimson Chin. The only time I remember him being peeved off by a chinjoke or something similar was when someone sent in a picture of Flabber from Beetleborgs in a monday headlines segment. As for the "pretty sure there is no way, that their musical hits ol broadway" line- it was already on Broadway by the time that song was written. In fact it was one of the most popular productions we've ever done, it had already sold out in theatres. And the film version that came out a couple of weeks later that month won several awards at the local film festival. When we premiered the film version at the film festival- Jay Leno himself showed up as one of the guests. The author obviously didn't see it- we think she should have given it a chance- because Leno really was and is our most inspirational, uplifting production. And secondly, the real Jay would never ever tell us to leave him alone or that we frighten him or anything like that- we know him, he's a nice guy. He's a great guy. He's one of the most underrated comics of all time. That song doesn't do him justice. It makes him come across as some sort of vampire or something. And also the real Jay doesn't even know about Amiright as I stated before, so there's no way he would ever say THAT.
• The creepiness of it. The song in general was pretty creepy especially the lyrics and how Jay was potrayed. And most of the song is an attack parody directed to me anyway. And yet ol Chucky let this one go through undetected- I'm surprised he hasn't had Red Ant get rid of it yet. The lyrics say stuff like "Dr Music sounds pretty dumb" "I bet he can't do either one" which aren't true- I'm rather intelligent and I was able to pull off the role of Jay AND his tonight show characters. You should have seen the Great Beyondo I Am song number- the special effects were amazing. In the film version it's almost like Beyondo is coming at ya in 4-d. Annie's parody in general was pretty creepy and a little TOO MUCH like something Alice Cooper would sing about. The fact she was able to make almost the entirety of it a Villain Sucks song about me and have it go passed Chucky G's censors undetected is amazing, but it seems to me that she didn't do the research before writing it. Me, Chinstar, and my brother are the leading Leno experts- we know everything there is to know about the guy. And also we're the only ones who answer the questions right on Jaywalking. The song creeped the hell out of me, it gave me nightmares.
• This song doesn't feel like a proper Jay tribute song at all. It doesn't do him justice. If she wanted to do a good Jay tribute song- she could just done a parody of the Gaston song from Beauty And The Beast. That's what we did for one of the songs in the film version.
• Again, the lyrics. We have the original song, but the one we have doesn't have lyrics- it's just sort of an 1980's techno/trance disco track. We heard the original song on the radio once, it sounded more uplifting then the depressing parody Annie wrote. The rather depressing tone to the parody made it more like a horror movie than anything else. That's why our friend Werejoshpeckprince put it under the New Media examples on the Nightmare Fuel page on TVTropes. Because it had heavy nightmare fuel elements with Paranoia Fuel thrown in. Now we're not OBSESSED with Jay in anyway, but we absolutely hate it when something or someone ruins his reputation and makes him look bad- which is why we didn't like Artistic Roll Call by comedian Bill Hicks. The song made Jay look bad. Which is unnacceptable.

It should be worth mentioning that several Amiright alumni make cameo appearances during the big crowd song number where Jay sings about his new job as host. In fact, Andria can be seen as one of the people in the bar having a drink. You should buy the 2-Disc Special Edition of Leno on dvd, vhs or Bluray. It's packed full of fun bonus features. It also features a special commentary done by me in character as Jay- it's kind of like the "The King" commentary on the Bubba Hotep dvd.


While Annie's song creeped the hell out of me...we would like to thank her for it. That song provided the inspiration for the character of Evil Jay.

To show our appreciation for that song, we would like to present her with this photomanipulation we did of me as an evil Wereleno. This was what I looked like as a Wereleno. Chinstar is also one but he's a heroic one, when I was a wereleno on the other hand I turned evil so we ended up becoming enemies for a while. My transformations into said wereleno were for the most part extremely painful, traumatic, nightmarish and took almost 3 whole hours to complete. Somehow I managed to live through it all- I got kind of used to it a little bit. Mind you, Chinstar's wereleno transformations are a LOT more pleasant than mine ever were. I had no control over my actions while I was in wereleno form, so it was kind of like what the lyrics of the Three Days Grace song Animal I've Become were about. And because I became an evil wereleno and not a heroic one, Chinstar and I ended up falling out and becoming enemies. It would have been nicer if I was a good guy wereleno- that way me and Chinstar could have been pals a lot longer and the transformations wouldn't be so torturous to indure. There are many stories as to how I got turned into one in the first place- one of which is that I accidentally did something to offend Jay and he rammed him really hard with his chin (leaving a red, chinshaped mark on my shoulder), the other one is that the creepy Jay Leno Playtime Friend protoype got mad at me when I refused to be his friend and went all evil on me. I recall the cause of my first transformation into a wereleno being an allergic reaction to the makeup I wore when I played Jay in the production of Leno. If you see Annie, be sure to tell her I said thanks for that parody- it really inspired us- and it kind of helped bring out the darker side of me.

Dan McCloud: Makeup Artist Extraordinare

My brother and I know quite a few talented people in the buisness who are good with makeup. One is our idol the great Rick Baker, he did the makeup for American Werewolf In London and our favourite Jim Carrey film How The Grinch Stole Christmas (most of the anthromorphic grinch characters in our tv shows are kind of modelled on Jim Carrey's grinch), Bill Corso who did Jim Carrey's Count Olaf in makeup in Lemony Snicket (our 2nd favourite Jim Carrey movie next to the Grinch) . We also idolised the late great Stan Winston who did the makeup and special fx for Terminator, Edward Scissorhands and Batman Returns. One of our favourite shows growing up was Manimal- which was awesome. He also did the makeup for Ghosts- a very clever Michael Jackson short film. It was really cool when Michael turned into that demon. The makeup for that was pretty cool.

Another person we know very well who is in the makeup buisness is Heather, Heather is an old helper from a school we used to go. She was very good at all sorts of artsy stuff, including makeup. She would often come to our house after school and do our makeup. We have an album somewhere of us in all sorts of different makeup.

My brother's best friend is a very talented makeup artist his name is Dan McCloud. He did my Jay Leno makeup for our production of Leno. It took 2 and a half hours. But it was a lot easier to deal with than the makeup process Jim Carrey had to go through for the Grinch. Although the contact lenses did hurt a little, and the fake chin kept making me sweaty, and the wig was itchy. But I enjoyed it nonetheless. I got to play more than one character too, not only did I play Jay but I also played Iron Jay, Evil Jay, Billy Tuttle, Mr Brain and Beyondo as well. I was completely unreconisable in the Jay Leno makeup, I looked so much like the real Jay.

The anthromorphic grinch characters in the animated series Robin Hood are modelled after Jim Carrey's grinch but they drawn in a Disney style- because it pays homage to Disney's film version of Robin Hood. Now a lot of people have noticed that Windsor (voiced by Tyrone The Terrible) is a lot similar to Scar from The Lion King. That's because the guy who did the animation for this character is Andreas Deja (the guy who did the animation of such memorable characters as Gaston, Scar, King Triton, Jafar, Hercules and Lilo). Windsor is one of the main antagonists- he serves as the evil counterpart to the main character. Whenever our friend Tyrone The Terrible voices a bad guy character in an animation project of ours, we get Andreas Deja to be the animator of that character. Tyrone The Terrible is known for his really evil sounding voice- he's great at impressions- the ones he does best are of David Bowie, Mick Jagger, Jeremy Irons, Tim Curry, Vincent Price and Simon Cowell (as demonstrated in our animated fantasy film Fantastic Portal). In the Robin Grinch movie- he actually does do a Jeremy Irons impersonation as the voice of Windsor.

For those who are interested, this is what I looked like in the Jay Leno makeup:

This is me as Iron Jay. I based half of my portrayal of this character on Gaston from Beauty And The Beast.

This one here is me becoming a Wereleno. A long while ago I used to be an evil wereleno. Here I am in mid transformation into one. The cause of this was an allergic reaction to the makeup I wore when I played Jay in the production of Leno.

This is a photo of me as the afforementioned wereleno. The transformations were often nightmarish and painful but I somehow managed to live through them. Sam Leno/Chinstar is also a wereleno but his transformations are a LOT more pleasant then mine ever were. I'm amazed at how he was able to deal with all that. I wasn't able to handle a second of it. Well Chinstar IS a professional superhero after all. He's had much worse things happen. What I don't get though is that when I turned into a wereleno I became a bad guy one instead of a good guy like Chinstar is. I mean I had to fight him when I was in wereleno form because even though we are close friends- the problem was that I was an evil wereleno at the time and he is a heroic one so we were bitter enemies when we were in this state. So we had to fight eachother to the death. I got better though. Chinstar didn't lose his powers- he still has them but he rarely uses them.

Characters in Mystery Men: The Series

We've done an animated series spinoff of the movie Mystery Men and it features all of the original cast doing the voices.

These are descriptions of what some of the new characters are:

Cartoonist (me)- A delightfully cartoonish crimefighter who is like a character from a Warner Bros cartoon. His powers are cartoon based meaning he can do stuff like summon anvils to squash his enemies, make practically anything he wants appear out of thin air and can defy the laws of phsyics in a way only a cartoon character would. He has a trusty magic pencil which he uses to create all sorts of cartoonish creations and bring them to life using his mind. He is quirky, funny, charming and quite intelligent. He works at an animation studio. His costume is a lot like The Flash's costume but it's the colour purple and the symbol on the front resembles a hidden Mickey (mickey mouse's head and ears). He can also mimic the abilties of anime characters such as Goku, Pikachu or Luffy from One Piece. His real name is Jerry Mcoy.
Lady Bug- This strong willed superheroine is a super sentai type superhero like the Power Rangers. Her powers are quite Spiderman-like.
La Vampiro- a dark, brooding nocturnal crimefighter who is like a vampire. His abilties and characteristics are extremely vampire-like. He is a reclusive vampire-like millionaire. His real name is Timothy "Tim" Price (an ode to Tim Burton and Vincent Price). His costume is a more elegant twist on the classic vampire costume. He doesn't like doing missions in the daytime because much like a vampire- he can't stand being out in the sun (he'll dry up if he stays out in the sun for a long while). He feasts on the blood of his enemies.
Puppet Master - An eccentric genius with a knack for puppetry. His special power is the ability to see into the future. He is seen with a hand puppet bear by the name of Frederick. Some people view him as creepy. His real name is Elroy Jenkins- the creator of a children's tv show called Playtime With Shirley and Friends.
Fish Guy (my bro) - Fish Guy is an aquatic crimefighter who has various aquatic abilites such as breathing underwater and summoning tidal waves. He can also mimic the various attributes of various sea creatures. He has blue skin, gills, scales and webbed hands and feet. He is a very fast swimmer. Unfortunately his powers only work when he's either in water or near a location which has lots of water. His real name is Ishmael Zahari- a reference to the classic novel Moby Dick.
Pyro Lass (Andria) - A crimefighter with fire powers. Pyro Lass can control fire and can even breathe fire. She is an alcholic and on a regular basis has a drink or two before leaping into battle. Her real name is Carrie Wolfe.
Wild Cat (Werekatt) - this crimefighter is part cat as indicated by his cat ears, black nose, whiskers, cute fangs, claws and tail. He has numerous cat-like abilities and has 9 lives. His real name is Felix Felinicio.
Morph-O (Lance Halloway aka Weremoose) - this crime fighter can turn himself into any animal but his prefered animal form is a moose. His real name is Charles Hammitlon.

Short story

We wrote this short story back in 2007. We also made into a short film. It also features a Jay Leno p laytime friend protototype.
I used to be an evil wereleno. And this was one of the causes of it.
There are many stories as to how I turned into a wereleno but this one is the most interesting. Two weeks ago I sent a nice letter to Jay and two weeks later a package from Jay himself arrived at my doorstep. On it there was a card, the card said: "To my good pal, love from Jay." I got inside and opened the package, inside it were a baseball cap, an autographed picture of Jay, two tonight show tickets and a Cuddle Me Jay plush toy that looked like a cute wereleno. I hugged the cute wereleno doll and it said...."Roaaaaaar. I am Cuddle Me Jay, do you want to be my friend?" in Jay's exact voice, it was so cute- and it had it's own motorcycle. It looked so cute, and such much like Jay. I stood there playing with it for half an hour, but after a while it kept wanting me to give it a hug and saying: "Roaaaaar. I like hugs. Give me a hug. Hug hug hug!" so I gave it one last hug and put it away on the table. It was nothing special I thought, it was just an adorable wereleno doll- not like it was going to be of any use to me or anything.....So I locked the doll in my closet. That evening, I was just about getting ready for a big night of watching reruns of Jay's show when all of a sudden that adorable wereleno doll appeared on the kitchen table and said in Jay's exact voice: "Roaaaar. I'm Cuddle Me Jay and i'm not happy. You haven't given me any hugs, that makes me sad. Roaaaaar!" with a rather sad expression on it's face. I picked up the Jay toy and said..."There there....I'll give you a hug." and gave the doll a big hug. The Cuddle Me Jay then said....."Roaaaar. I'm Cuddle MeJay, will you be my friend?" I then turned out and told the Jay doll that I didn't want to be his friend which made the Jay doll mad which caused it to say: "YOU WILL BE MY FRIEND!" in Jay's exact voice and it's eyes began to glow, the doll then leaped at me and then attacked me with it's large chin. I was extremely mad at the doll for attacking me but then began to feel really strange as something strange started happening. My ears became pointy, my eyebrows became bushy, my canine teeth became cute little fangs, my eyes glowed an orangeish colour, my nose became black, I then began to get a bit itchy and blackish fur with silver markings began to grow on my hands, and all over me- the tips of my fingernails and toenails grew long and black, I was starting to resemble that cute but creepy wereleno doll, my hair grew into a long black mane and my face and voice became that of Jay himself even my chin jutted out and became his- and finally I changed in height from my regular height to Jay's height of 5'11 and my body bulked up into a much more Jay-like body causing my favourite t shirt to rip to shreds. I had became a wereleno, and it was all because of that stupid doll. So you see kids, the moral is never refuse to be Cuddle Me Jay's friend or else he'll turn you into a wereleno.

Animal House Remake, Uncle Buck remake and Batman movie ideas

We read somewhere that they're planning of doing an Animal House remake. We hope it isn't true. Animal House is a classic college comedy. You can't improve it. It's already awesome. We seriously hope that the big shots at Hollywood decide not to remake it. We also read about an Uncle Buck remake with Dan Fogler being in the works. We love Uncle Buck it's one of our favourite John Candy films but i'm not sure if we'd like to see it remade. I mean John Candy IS Uncle Buck. A remake of the movie could turn out to be disasterous as most remakes often do...well except for the 1980's remake of the fly (that was excellent). Now there's also a remake of Little Shop Of Horrors in the works...that one's ALREADY been remade. We loved the 1980's film version. Steve Martin was a kickass biker dentist. You can't improve on that. I hope they do not remake it.

We have a few ideas about who the villain in the next Batman film should be. I mean we've seen the Joker (twice), the Penguin, Catwoman, Mr Freeze, Poison Ivy, the Scarecrow, Two-Face (twice) and the Riddler. I think the villain should be either Killer Moth, Killer Croc, Manbat, Mad Hatter, Clayface or the Ventriliquist. Manbat is one of our favourite batman villains. It would be awesome if they could put him in the next Batman movie. We think Jeff Goldblum could play Kirk Langstrom/Manbat- he's played a role like that before- as Seth Brundle in The Fly. I would love to see Manbat in the next batman film, it would be interesting to see how they could do the transformation scenes of him turning into the manbat creature. I remember seeing the episode of Batman The Animated Series called On Leather Wings. That one featured Manbat in it. And there was this really freaky transformation scene which was also extremely cool.

Now if they got the Ventriliquist as the villain in the next batman film, we always thought that Goosebumps author R.L Stine could be the perfect guy for that part (he has an extremely creepy overally calm personality). At the start of Night Of The Living Dummy III there's this intro where he's talking to a puppet version of himself. It's kind of creepy but at the same time funny.

It would be rather interesting if they had Clayface in the next Batman film as well. Clayface can turn into anyone or anything. There was a parody of this guy in a halloween episode of Camp Lazlo- his name was Meatman.

Mad Hatter would be interesting to see as well. They could get Robert Englund to play him.

But Killer Croc would be really awesome. I'd love to see what he'd look like in the next batman film. Same with Killer moth too.

Top 10 ten lists

We're got some really funny top ten lists.

Top 10 annoying questions to ask at a funeral:

10. "How long does it take for the body to decompose?"

9, "What would you do if the body got up?"

8. "Are you done yet?" - to the person delivering the euology.

7. "You know that photo of Elvis Presley in his coffin. Is it really Elvis in there or is just some wax dummy?"

6. "Has anyone tried stealing the body?"

5. " Where's the pet cementary?"

4. "Is there a bathroom in this place? I need to go really badly!"

3. "I'm hungry. Anyone got a sandwich?"

2. "I'm thirsty. Anyone got any beer?"

1. "Is it done yet?"

Top ten annoying questions to ask at a wedding:

10. "How much for the women? The women, the women. I want to buy the bride. How much for the bridesmaid?"

9. "How much for the bridesmaids? I want to buy them. Name your price. How much for the bridesmaids?"

8. "Are you done yet?" - to the minister.

7. "Can I have a slice of that cake? Pretty please?"

6. "Is this the part where we get drunk? Because if it is...then I'm already halfway there. So, is it time to get drunk yet?".

5. "Is it me or has she put on weight recently?"

4. "Where's the bathroom in this place?"

3. "When do we get to the free food?"

2. "When do we get drunk?"

1. "Is it done yet?"

Top ten annoying questions to ask on the tonight show with Jay Leno:

10. "Is that chin real?"

9. "Can I touch it? Pretty please?"

8. "Are you done yet?" - during the interview.

7. "Why do your monologues take up so much time?"

6. "Do you ALWAYS have to interrupt the guest?"

5. "Why do you eat meat so much?"

4. "Why are the people on Jaywalking so stupid?"

3. "Are those newspaper headlines real or did you just make them up?"

2. "Where's the bathroom?"

1. "Is this interview done yet?"

The Magic 7...But Where's John Candy

this year, a made for tv film called the Magic 7 is being released. It was a fantasy film that was part animation part live action (I think). It's plot was about a group of kids who challenge the 6 arch enemies of the earth and ride a 5 toed dragon (voiced by James Earl Jones). From what we've read or heard about it, John Candy and Madeline Kahn were involved in the making of this project. Both of them recorded the voices for their characters in the early 1990's. But the project was shelved for more than a few years. The final version is coming out this year but sadly neither John Candy or Madeline Kahn's characters appeared in it. Now I feel that the true fans of John Candy have been cheated on. And as a fan of John Candy myself (as well as being a close friend of his) I feel that it was unfair that John was removed from the cast list and that his voice wasn't used in the final film. I mean John had been in animated projects before. He was the voice of Wilbur the albatross in Rescuers Down Under (which is our friend the Master Of Oz's favourite Disney film, his 2nd favourite is The Wild) and voiced himself in the cartoon series Camp Candy (which should be aired on Boomerang as well as the original Biker mice series). He also voiced a few characters in the sci fi animated film Heavy Metal- most notably Den the geek turned muscleman, a robot in one of the other segments and a desk sergent in another one. The true JC fans out there have been cheated on by the producers of the Magic 7. Not only is John's voice not in the final version of the film but we're not sure if his character was voiced by someone else or just removed from the film- and we were looking forward to seeing what his character Smokestak Sam was going to be like. We kinda imagine that the character would be kind of like a cross between Sully from Monsters Inc and the Genie from Aladdin. We kind of imagine that Madeline Kahn's character Wastra must be kind of like a cross between Maleficent and Cruella DeVil.

If John's character was indeed voiced by someone else in the final version I hope it was Tino Insana- because he sounds a lot like John Candy. He was the voice of Pig in Barnyard and it's spin-off series Back At The Barnyard, he was the voice of Uncle Ted in Bobby's World as well. He's also currently the voice of Barf the mog in the new Spaceballs cartoon series which we have seen more than a few episodes of (we think it's really funny).

Our mascot Chumsley was voiced by John Candy in our animated shorts, commercials and in Chumsley and Friends from 1982-1994. When John died in 1994, we got Tino Insana to fill in. You can still see more than a little bit of John's personality in him. Chumsley the werejohncandy is pretty much a LOT like John Candy himself- he's kind of like a mix of some of John's best characters, he's a little bit of Ox, a little bit of Del Griffith, a little bit of Freddie Bauer, a little bit of Irv Blitzer and more than a little bit of ol Uncle Buck. Tino Insana also provides the voice of Uncle Kong in our latest cartoon series Bonzi's Jungle Treehouse. Uncle Kong is based on the title character from Uncle Buck. He's basically John Candy as a gorilla.

We were very good friends with John Candy. We met him once. And the first parody we actually wrote when we were on Amiright was a parody of the song John Henry by Harry Belafonte and was the true story of how we met and became friends with him. We've also got this amazing story of how we saved his life once. You can view the music video for that song on

the Chumsley and friends seasons 1-2 dvd special features. Also you can view the original Chumsley and friends animated shorts featuring John as the voice of Chumsley. These animated shorts of ours aired during the early 1980's. You can also view the commercials featuring Chumsley- they are a parody of those commercials where people turn into monsters and similar stuff like that, in them someone (usually me) turns into Chumsley. We pulled that off using a variety of different techniques, including morphing, makeup, and special effects. You can also view the PSA's featuring Chumsley. In mid 1984 we did a series of PSAs featuring Chumsley- each one with John Candy providing the voice of the character. These PSAs can also be seen as one of the special features on the Chumsley and Friends season 1-2 dvd boxset.

Chumsley the werejohncandy is our beloved mascot. He's been featured in quite a few of our animation projects. He's starred in a couple of episodes of Doizee's Fairy Tales. Doizee's Fairy Tales was a puppet tv show which is a spin-off of the Doizee Club kids show. In it Doizee tells her kids a variety of entertaining fairy tales. Chumsley plays the role of the Beast in the episode Beauty's Beast Friend which is kind of like the Disney version of Beauty And The Beast and the role of the Giant in the episode Sam And The Beanstalk (featuring Sam Leno as the title character) a retelling of Jack and the beanstalk.

For those who are curious, this is what Chumsley looks like in animated form:

This is what he looks like in live action form:

There are a couple of books with Chumsley in them which we did. The first one is a storybook called Chumsley's Family Vacation and the other is a graphic novel called The Good, The Bad, And The Furry which is a satire of those Clint Eastwood style spaghetti westerns. He appears in quite a few SCTV books of ours including the SCTV Power Rangers crossover comic. There are action figures of him and his family available in stores as well as ones of his various relatives. These ones are also available in Cuddle Buddy form. In some of the SCTV video games we have he is a special guest character, in SCTV VS SNL he's an unlockable character. There are several ways to unlock him- one way is to complete Arcade Mode using John Candy or one of his characters. The other way is to enter the word CUDDLEPAL as a cheat code on the cheat menu, and then there's the other way- go to character select mode, on the left side of the screen opposite John Belushi and Chris Farley is a box with a golden heart symbol on it- select that box and Chumsley appears.

The Chumsley And Friends Season 1-2 dvd boxset comes with a Chumsley Jumbo Cuddle Buddy (it's kind of like a beanie buddy) that talks, tells stories and sings songs. There's also a variety of John Candy mushabellies including one of Chumsley.

If you want to know where Chumsley lives. He lives in a tree fort located in the woods, it's next door to the clubhouse that was the setting for various episodes of The Doizee Club. He has lots of animal friends. He tells them stories and sings to them as well. He also has a couple of human friends there that help out or visit- one of them is Josh Peck from Drake and Josh.

Stories About Friends Of Ours

We've got some stories about some old school friends and enemies of ours:

Kirsty:
This was one of the first friends we ever made in school. She was a very nice girl. She looked kind of like Andria. She came from a very exciting family- her mother Tracey was a stage actress, her father worked at the airport and her brother is a hardcore gamer and captain of the football team. Not to mention everytime we came over here to her place we played video games most of the time and watched Fox Kids. Her brother is also very good at wrestling, has a room full of sports equipment, has the original playstation console in his room, a tv, and several games to go with it. He used to play around with us often, having pretend wrestling matches- we managed to learn more than a few moves from him. Kirsty was sweet, funny, smart and not to mention she loved beanie babies- she had a massive collection of ty collectibles- each one was careful aligned up on a shelf in her bedroom. Her room was kind of like one straight out of a fairy tale.

Jack:
This kid was really special. He had a variety of talents including dancing and singing. Not to mention he was quite the comedian. No matter what he did he always found a way to make it funny. Heck, he could read the phonebook and it would leave you in stitches. Jack's real talent came from his remarkable mimicry skills. He was gifted at mimicing almost anyone. I remember this one too when we were at a church or museum and he did the most hillarious impersonation of Bela Lugosi as Count Dracula (he was even wearing a pair of fake vampire fangs). Jake's comedic taste was impeccible. He's gonna be the next Jim Carrey one day.

Ricky:
Another comic genius friend of ours. Ricky was the most hillarious person in the whole school. He was also a die hard Michael Jackson fan, he could do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation as well. He knew all of Michael Jackson's songs by heart and could sing them very well. You should listen to his rendition of Stranger in Moscow- it's lovely.

Danny:
This one had a great sense of humour. Danny's talent for comedy was never-ending. This kid was a riot. Not to mention he was quite a gifted gymnast. Watching him do all those backflips and cartwheels was simply magical. This kid was one of a kind.

Ashley:

Ashley or Ash as we liked to call him- was another one of those wacky comedians in the class. He was one of the best. He loved horror movies especially the Halloween movies and would often hum the theme from those movies. He knew how to tell a good joke. He loved it when we refered to him as Ash because he was a Bruce Campbell fan. This dude rocked. Not to mention he was a real comic genius. He loved the Evil Dead films as well.

Tom:

This guy wasn't a friend of ours, he was a rival. He was the school jock, he was arrogant, show-offy and extremely boastful- a LOT like Gaston from Beauty And The Beast only not so good looking. He was always showing off his sportsmanship skills and acting like he was the king of the whole playground. We hated him so much. He was often seen around his fangirl Stefanie.

Stefanie:

Another rival of ours. She used to be our friend but she had an annoying habit of turning one's friends against you and she also liked to mess with our heads often. She looked like that pink haired girl from Lazytown but she wasn't anything like her. She wasn't sweet like her. She loved sports there and was a bit of a tomboy. She also was a bit of a backstabber, she'd always find a way to turn our friends against us. She was such a vain, manipulative shedevil. She was always one of the first to start a fight. If ever a fight took place in class or outside she was the one to blaim. That sneaky manipulative little b***h turned our friends against us one time. But we got our revenge- we made a voodoo doll of her- we still have that doll somewhere.

Victoria:

This was one of our most closest friends. Victoria was a real nice, charming funny girl. She would love at almost anything. Sure she was a bit of a ditz but her sense of humour was perfect like her name and her hair. She was kind of like Amanda Bynes.

Rossa, Emma, Tina, Samatha, Bethany and Cathrine:

These girls were fantastic and a joy to hang out with. They liked the same things we did. These girls were unique. They could sing, dance and act flawlessly- which is why they were always first in the school choir. Their voices were like angels.

Amy:

Now this girl was special. She was not only smart and funny- but she was a gifted dancer. She was of Irish decent. She could do one heck of a riverdance routine- heck she could have easily beaten Michael Flately in a dance contest. She was a class act. Not only that, but her grandfather was a soldier in the army.

Toby and Joseph:

We always had fun with these two around. They were kind of like Abbott and Costello. These two were so gifted at making all sorts of fun games to play. Not only that, but they were extremely intelligent. These two got up to all sorts of crazy antics but they would never get in trouble at all. They were best friends throughout the whole term, no matter what happened they would ALWAYS stay together.

Aron:

This dude was a joy to hang with. He was a big fan of shows like Power Rangers and Beetleborgs and was more than happy to reinact an episode of either one. His comic sense of humour was amazing. This kid was smart and funny at the same time.

Daniel:

There are not enough words in the dictionary to describe how amazing this wiz kid was. This kid was a real genius. A super genius in fact. He was very intelligent and a great conversionalist. He was great for having intellectual conversations with and he'd never disagree with us.

Paul:

Paul was special. He was quirky and fun. There was no one like Paul. Paul loved video games and movies. He was the most entertaining kid on earth.

Ossian:

This kid was a real artist. He could draw almost anything. Heck, he could do a picture of a brick wall and it'd come out looking like a masterpiece. He was funny too. But he was for the most part what we'd like to call The Pesci (named after actor Joe Pesci). He was calm most of the time but sometimes would snap and go berserk- and when he did he would scream. Now, this scream of his was so loud it was almost banshee-like and could shatter windows. But he would rarely blow his top. He loved collecting things especially beanie babies, toy cars and antiques. He had his shortcomings but he was a very clever kid. He had class.

David:

This kid was one of the most amazing kids we ever met. His brother works in an animation studio just like my brother does. He was a super genius, had a quirky personality and a wacky sense of humour. He was one of the best people to work with when doing creative writing. We would brainstorm for hours. We would hang out in a private room, chill and then read various stories me and my brother wrote and then think of new fanfic ideas and such. He introduced us to the music of Tenacious D and we've been Tenacious D fans ever since...(Jack Black rules!)

Jason:

This chubby, adorable likable son of a gun was called Jason Fraser. He looked a lot like a pre weight loss Josh Peck and was a lot like him in terms of personality. He used to be the sidekick/cronie of local schoolyard bully Keith Darby. He was quite intelligent as well as being rather tall and strong despite his size- making him a Genius Bruiser. He was friends with Keith for only one reason: To become noticed. However Keith treated him like dirt and he hardly got any respect from him. He was a good kid, but he was hanging with a bad crowd. We would often hang together on Tuesdays and Thursdays at recess. He was full of ideas, he was also a real sci fi buff and even taught us how to play dungeons and dragons. He was really funny too. He's a lot happier without Keith bossing him around nowadays, he's a lone wolf now and also a freelancer. The only bad thing is that we'd get phone calls from him at completely innapprioate moments-and believe he would go on and on for hours. Apart from that, he was a great kid. The only other bad thing about him is that whenever we had him other he would often beat us at Pokemon battles (me and my brother had water, flying, bug and psyhic types why he would have fighting, fire, electric and ground types). We will never forgive him for defeating our Swampert using a Blaziken in Pokemon Saphire. And also he was ALWAYS after Doizee for some reason- and on a regular basis would pretend that he was going to eat her- but Doizee got her own back, she latched herself onto his left hand and never let go- she then bit him REALLY REALLY hard like when a snake does it. I guess he didn't know that Doizee had a mind of her own. Doizee also used this latching and biting technique on him when he pretended that he was going to eat her kid Doizee Jr. She sure showed him. In overall, Jason was a great kid despite his annoying habits.