Hello, Nathan F here with another semi controversial submission. This one is centered around a certain pair of directors who don't have any talent at all.
Of course i am refering to Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, I have never seen ANY of their comedies except for Spy Hard but from what i've heard about their latest "works" I can tell that they're hated by a number of different people.
It seems to me that they don't do the research at all when it comes to making fun of the movie/tv show they parody and just decide to mix it all together into one disgusting, completely random mess of slop and bad jokes nobody gets or finds funny.
Note that "Disaster Movie" had little to do with actual disaster movies except the Cloverfield parody and the homage to Twister - it is however a Disaster Movie in more ways than one - it bombed.
I admit that I have seen my share of bad movies - and I also admit that I do like them - I've seen almost everyone of the ones on MST3K and I also like that underrated 1991 Nothing But Trouble starring Dan Akyroyd, Demi Moore, Chevy Chase and John Candy (Dan and John both played 2 characters in the film) - which may be weird to some but it's SUPPOSED to be weird - it's a black comedy, but Seltzer and Friedberg's movies are so bad that they're horrible.
Now i'm no Gene Siskel or Roger Ebert when it comes to movies but it seems to me that Seltzer and Friedberg have no talent at all. My brother and I could do a better movie than them.
They seem to think it's a good idea to just spoof every possible film genre imaginable. I mean what's next? Puppet Movie? Car Crash Movie? Animated Movie? Insert Genre Title Here Movie?
In the words of Jay Sherman - It stinks.
I conclude that i think they should quit filmmaking forever and never make another movie ever again.
Wednesday 31 March 2010
Fella's origin
For sometime now, people on Deviantart have been wondering what the heck Fella is.
Well my theory is that Fella is some sort of cute alien baby that crash landed on Earth, who was found by a couple of humans who raised him like a son, he learned all about earth's customs and in the process also taking a liking to earth culture especially art - often visiting art museums and taking notes.
I also say that his official species name is Deviantian. Given his robot-feline appearance i'm guessing his special powers and abilities would be the same as Inspector Gadget's ones ("go go gadget toothbrush"!).
Even though Fella himself does NOT talk, he commuincates via telepathy - although sometimes when he talks his voice kind of changes every 5 years or so like Crow from MST3K (Sometimes he'll sound like a Mickey Mouse copycat, other times he'll sound like Darth Vader and some others he may sound like Jack Black or even Bruce Campbell).
I conclude that Fella is a rather unique, highly advanced alien lifeform which we should cherish and protect at all costs.
Well my theory is that Fella is some sort of cute alien baby that crash landed on Earth, who was found by a couple of humans who raised him like a son, he learned all about earth's customs and in the process also taking a liking to earth culture especially art - often visiting art museums and taking notes.
I also say that his official species name is Deviantian. Given his robot-feline appearance i'm guessing his special powers and abilities would be the same as Inspector Gadget's ones ("go go gadget toothbrush"!).
Even though Fella himself does NOT talk, he commuincates via telepathy - although sometimes when he talks his voice kind of changes every 5 years or so like Crow from MST3K (Sometimes he'll sound like a Mickey Mouse copycat, other times he'll sound like Darth Vader and some others he may sound like Jack Black or even Bruce Campbell).
I conclude that Fella is a rather unique, highly advanced alien lifeform which we should cherish and protect at all costs.
Birds are evil
A poem about why birds are evil. Enjoy.
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The winged feathered monstrosities fly around in the sky.
Leaving their poop everywhere and I don't know why.
I don't know why these wicked beasts do what they do.
My mother was lying down in the sun once.
A bird flew by and sqwuarked at her.
"Sqwuak!" The wretched creature went.
My mother got angry and started to yell.
"Oh shut up bird!" is what she screamed.
What she spurted out after that was obscene.
Why can't all birds die like the Dodo did?
Birds are evil, birds are mean.
All birds are just plain obscene.
I'm sick of them pooping everywhere.
Their wretched sqwuaks make my ears bleed.
Curse you feathered beasts, curse you indeed
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The winged feathered monstrosities fly around in the sky.
Leaving their poop everywhere and I don't know why.
I don't know why these wicked beasts do what they do.
My mother was lying down in the sun once.
A bird flew by and sqwuarked at her.
"Sqwuak!" The wretched creature went.
My mother got angry and started to yell.
"Oh shut up bird!" is what she screamed.
What she spurted out after that was obscene.
Why can't all birds die like the Dodo did?
Birds are evil, birds are mean.
All birds are just plain obscene.
I'm sick of them pooping everywhere.
Their wretched sqwuaks make my ears bleed.
Curse you feathered beasts, curse you indeed
The lizard
This poem of mine is about an awesome lizard i saw in a pet shop.
Once when I was in the pet shop
I saw this awesome lizard.
I think it was a skink.
It was just sitting there on a log.
Looking like a model.
But then it turned his head and looked at me.
I couldn't believe my eyes.
It was the coolest lizard I had ever seen.
It was one of the best animals in the shop.
The axolotyls were also cool as well as the fishes.
But the lizard was kickass.
If I had a lizard like that...
I'd be the envy of everyone
Once when I was in the pet shop
I saw this awesome lizard.
I think it was a skink.
It was just sitting there on a log.
Looking like a model.
But then it turned his head and looked at me.
I couldn't believe my eyes.
It was the coolest lizard I had ever seen.
It was one of the best animals in the shop.
The axolotyls were also cool as well as the fishes.
But the lizard was kickass.
If I had a lizard like that...
I'd be the envy of everyone
Evil girl
This one is about Tazmin aka the 12 year old terror.
This one doesn't appear in my nightmares.
But she still is as scary as hell.
She seems like an innocent 12 year old girl.
Tazmin Burvile is her name.
She can be best described as a cross between Megan from Drake and Josh with Damien from the Omen and Stewie Griffin thrown in.
Looking like Miranda Cosgrove with traits that are feline.
There's something creepy about her.
Like she came from a Tim Burton film or maybe Coraline.
She loves cats, quite a lot.
She also is kind of like a creepy black cat herself.
With her tricks and wicked traps.
Lurking in the shadows, planning her next move.
With her is her equally as creepy feline companion.
A black cat named Cassandra.
Cassandra is the cat from hell.
With her evil eyes, glossy black coat and her monstrous demeanor.
You wouldn't her in your house.
And you wouldn't want Tazmin there either.
Oh Tazmin, you are pure evil.
You act innocent to fool your victims.
But you can't fool me.
This one doesn't appear in my nightmares.
But she still is as scary as hell.
She seems like an innocent 12 year old girl.
Tazmin Burvile is her name.
She can be best described as a cross between Megan from Drake and Josh with Damien from the Omen and Stewie Griffin thrown in.
Looking like Miranda Cosgrove with traits that are feline.
There's something creepy about her.
Like she came from a Tim Burton film or maybe Coraline.
She loves cats, quite a lot.
She also is kind of like a creepy black cat herself.
With her tricks and wicked traps.
Lurking in the shadows, planning her next move.
With her is her equally as creepy feline companion.
A black cat named Cassandra.
Cassandra is the cat from hell.
With her evil eyes, glossy black coat and her monstrous demeanor.
You wouldn't her in your house.
And you wouldn't want Tazmin there either.
Oh Tazmin, you are pure evil.
You act innocent to fool your victims.
But you can't fool me.
Vampiric Jay
This one is about a vampric clone of Jay Leno, he appears in my Leno nightmares and he's a real pain in the neck (literally).
This guy manifests in my Leno nightmares.
He is Jay Leno's evil clone.
He looks just like Jay except he's got grey skin, black hair, and is kind of a vampire.
But he's not the Twilight kind of vampire, no he's a badass 80's style vampire.
Even dressess like one of the bikers from The Lost Boys.
He rides a ghost rider style motorcycle.
He is more comical than scary at times because of his nasally voice and occassional half laugh/sneer
But much like Jay Leno himself he sometimes shouts LOUDLY to sound more imtimdating.
And believe me it's really quite effective when he does it.
He is often out to get me for no reason other than revenge.
His favourite blood type is B Negative.
He doesn't use the old scrape and lick technique.
He prefers to drink it from cans.
Oh evil Jay, what do you want?
Surely you have a reason for trying to get me.
You better stay away, or i'll put this stake to your heart
This guy manifests in my Leno nightmares.
He is Jay Leno's evil clone.
He looks just like Jay except he's got grey skin, black hair, and is kind of a vampire.
But he's not the Twilight kind of vampire, no he's a badass 80's style vampire.
Even dressess like one of the bikers from The Lost Boys.
He rides a ghost rider style motorcycle.
He is more comical than scary at times because of his nasally voice and occassional half laugh/sneer
But much like Jay Leno himself he sometimes shouts LOUDLY to sound more imtimdating.
And believe me it's really quite effective when he does it.
He is often out to get me for no reason other than revenge.
His favourite blood type is B Negative.
He doesn't use the old scrape and lick technique.
He prefers to drink it from cans.
Oh evil Jay, what do you want?
Surely you have a reason for trying to get me.
You better stay away, or i'll put this stake to your heart
Moocifer
This little short story is about a demon cow who haunts my nightmares. Her name is Moocifer.
-------------
In my nightmares I see her.
This big, black sinister flying bovine from hell.
A demon cow, her name - Moocifer.
Often accompined by the tornado demon and the king of creepy crawlies.
I'd recognise her anywhere, her jet black coat - her glowing red eyes.
Her sinister deep bass voice, her big bat-like wings, and her wicked stare.
She flies in through the window at night, a thunder clap of fear signals her presence.
She offers me a chance to come with her to her world.
A world which is a dark, underworld city infested with all sorts of night crawlers.
If I refuse, she punishes me.
By turning me into something I hate, like a cow, dog monster or tree.
Unfortunately I cannot move or speak or do anything about it.
Because she imoblises me with her evil stare.
Why must you torment me Moocifer?
Surely there must be someone else for you to torment.
Get out of my dreams and out of my mind.
--------
-------------
In my nightmares I see her.
This big, black sinister flying bovine from hell.
A demon cow, her name - Moocifer.
Often accompined by the tornado demon and the king of creepy crawlies.
I'd recognise her anywhere, her jet black coat - her glowing red eyes.
Her sinister deep bass voice, her big bat-like wings, and her wicked stare.
She flies in through the window at night, a thunder clap of fear signals her presence.
She offers me a chance to come with her to her world.
A world which is a dark, underworld city infested with all sorts of night crawlers.
If I refuse, she punishes me.
By turning me into something I hate, like a cow, dog monster or tree.
Unfortunately I cannot move or speak or do anything about it.
Because she imoblises me with her evil stare.
Why must you torment me Moocifer?
Surely there must be someone else for you to torment.
Get out of my dreams and out of my mind.
--------
Many species of humour
Gross-Out
Gross-Out comedy also known as toilet humour is any visual joke involving sex, farts, belches and other disgusting things. Some of this type of humour first showcased in the 70's especially National Lampoon's Animal House (1979) which had Bluto (John Belushi's character) start a food fight by impersonating a zit using a mashed potato. In the 80's movies like Porkies had this, and most notably the famous chocolate bar in the swimming pool scene in Caddyshack. It is also done in several 90's/2000's comedies even though it is overdone especially in any movie that Seltzer and Friedberg make. Although one great use of gross-out humour is the infamous Mr Creote scene from Monty Python's Meaning Of Life.
Slapstick
Slapstick also known as phsyical comedy has been around since the early 30's. Almost every comic known to mankind has done this from The Three Stooges to Robin Williams. And it never gets tiresome. Jim Carrey is a master of this as demonstrated in his movies like Ace Ventura and Dumb and Dumber. Chris Farley often used his weight as an advantage for comic effect in many of his SNL skits and in movies like Tommy Boy and Beverly Hills Ninja.
Observation comedy
Observation comedy is where the comedian takes notes of all the funny things he/she sees and makes a humourous observation about it. There are lot of comics that do this sort of thing including late night talk show hosts like Letterman and Jay Leno. Jay Leno often does this when he does his stand up routines.
Relationship comedy
This is where the comic talks about how difficult relationships can be in a funny fashion and sometimes even mentions their own difficult lovelife.
Self depreciation
Self depreciation humour is where the comic makes jokes about how terrible their life is and how they don't get any reconisiton for their work. The most famous example of a comic who has done this is Rodney Dangerfield - whose catchprase was often "I get no respect, no respect at all." Self depreciation humour is often very underated.
Black comedy
Black comedy is comedy with a dark sinister twist to it. The humour is often dark and more than a little twisted but the result makes it more entertaining. Most notable examples of this including the 1996 film The Cable Guy starring Jim Carrey as a cable repairman with a sinister lisp (which for some reason is never explained) and a weird habit of stalking his customers. Another example is the highly underated 1990s comedy Nothing But Trouble starring Chevy Chase, Dan Akyroyd (in two roles, he also directs it), Demi Moore and John Candy (also in two roles).
Spoof
The spoof or parody is the art of making fun of other movies and tv shows, although it's not only used in movies and tv it is also used in music as well especially by Dr Demento and Weird Al Yankovich. Music parody website amiright (which btw I used to a regular on, it was a pretty good sight too) is famous for this. Mel Brooks specialises in spoof movies especially Spaceballs (a parody of sci fi films), Young Frankenstein (a parody of monster movies) and Blazing Saddles (a spoof of Western movies). In 2007 Disney did a spoof of their own movies titled Enchanted which was about an animated princess who ends up in the real world. The Scary Movie series mainly used to focus on making fun of slasher movies like I Know What You Did Last Summer but later on began to spoof almost every hit movie or tv show of that particular year - unfortunately they also made fun of Michael Jackson two times - once in Scary Movie 3 and once again in Scary Movie 4 (there's even a deleted scene which shows MJ who is played by impersonator Edward Moss, getting zapped by an alien spaceship numerous times, the first time he gets zapped he gets zapped back into his Bad incarnation, the second time he gets zapped back into his Thriller incarnation and the third time he gets zapped into what he might have looked like if he hadn't had plastic surgery).
Puns
The pun always known as wordplay or paraphelia is the most sophisicated form of humour. Now it can be used in a number of ways. It can be used in sentences as well. Freddy Krueger started making puns and wisecracks in the third Nightmare On Elm Street film and used them since then. Tales From The Crypt often featured a host who used puns all the time , his name was the Crypt Keeper and his voice was done by John Kassir. The Misadventures Of Flapjack has an episode all about puns titled Pun Times with Punsie Mchale.
Gross-Out comedy also known as toilet humour is any visual joke involving sex, farts, belches and other disgusting things. Some of this type of humour first showcased in the 70's especially National Lampoon's Animal House (1979) which had Bluto (John Belushi's character) start a food fight by impersonating a zit using a mashed potato. In the 80's movies like Porkies had this, and most notably the famous chocolate bar in the swimming pool scene in Caddyshack. It is also done in several 90's/2000's comedies even though it is overdone especially in any movie that Seltzer and Friedberg make. Although one great use of gross-out humour is the infamous Mr Creote scene from Monty Python's Meaning Of Life.
Slapstick
Slapstick also known as phsyical comedy has been around since the early 30's. Almost every comic known to mankind has done this from The Three Stooges to Robin Williams. And it never gets tiresome. Jim Carrey is a master of this as demonstrated in his movies like Ace Ventura and Dumb and Dumber. Chris Farley often used his weight as an advantage for comic effect in many of his SNL skits and in movies like Tommy Boy and Beverly Hills Ninja.
Observation comedy
Observation comedy is where the comedian takes notes of all the funny things he/she sees and makes a humourous observation about it. There are lot of comics that do this sort of thing including late night talk show hosts like Letterman and Jay Leno. Jay Leno often does this when he does his stand up routines.
Relationship comedy
This is where the comic talks about how difficult relationships can be in a funny fashion and sometimes even mentions their own difficult lovelife.
Self depreciation
Self depreciation humour is where the comic makes jokes about how terrible their life is and how they don't get any reconisiton for their work. The most famous example of a comic who has done this is Rodney Dangerfield - whose catchprase was often "I get no respect, no respect at all." Self depreciation humour is often very underated.
Black comedy
Black comedy is comedy with a dark sinister twist to it. The humour is often dark and more than a little twisted but the result makes it more entertaining. Most notable examples of this including the 1996 film The Cable Guy starring Jim Carrey as a cable repairman with a sinister lisp (which for some reason is never explained) and a weird habit of stalking his customers. Another example is the highly underated 1990s comedy Nothing But Trouble starring Chevy Chase, Dan Akyroyd (in two roles, he also directs it), Demi Moore and John Candy (also in two roles).
Spoof
The spoof or parody is the art of making fun of other movies and tv shows, although it's not only used in movies and tv it is also used in music as well especially by Dr Demento and Weird Al Yankovich. Music parody website amiright (which btw I used to a regular on, it was a pretty good sight too) is famous for this. Mel Brooks specialises in spoof movies especially Spaceballs (a parody of sci fi films), Young Frankenstein (a parody of monster movies) and Blazing Saddles (a spoof of Western movies). In 2007 Disney did a spoof of their own movies titled Enchanted which was about an animated princess who ends up in the real world. The Scary Movie series mainly used to focus on making fun of slasher movies like I Know What You Did Last Summer but later on began to spoof almost every hit movie or tv show of that particular year - unfortunately they also made fun of Michael Jackson two times - once in Scary Movie 3 and once again in Scary Movie 4 (there's even a deleted scene which shows MJ who is played by impersonator Edward Moss, getting zapped by an alien spaceship numerous times, the first time he gets zapped he gets zapped back into his Bad incarnation, the second time he gets zapped back into his Thriller incarnation and the third time he gets zapped into what he might have looked like if he hadn't had plastic surgery).
Puns
The pun always known as wordplay or paraphelia is the most sophisicated form of humour. Now it can be used in a number of ways. It can be used in sentences as well. Freddy Krueger started making puns and wisecracks in the third Nightmare On Elm Street film and used them since then. Tales From The Crypt often featured a host who used puns all the time , his name was the Crypt Keeper and his voice was done by John Kassir. The Misadventures Of Flapjack has an episode all about puns titled Pun Times with Punsie Mchale.
That old chicken joke
Ever wonder about that old chicken joke and why the chicken crossed the road? Then wonder no more.. because I have the answers.
Top ten explaninations of why the chicken crossed the road:
10. To get to the other side.
9. He was learning about road safety.
8. He was running away from home.
7. Somebody dared him to do it.
6. He was stupid and drunk.
5. Because he felt like doing it.
4. He wanted to see if there was another chicken on the other side.
3. He was trying to get home.
2. He was confused and forgot the way back.
1. His car broke down so he had to walk.
Top ten explaninations of why the chicken crossed the road:
10. To get to the other side.
9. He was learning about road safety.
8. He was running away from home.
7. Somebody dared him to do it.
6. He was stupid and drunk.
5. Because he felt like doing it.
4. He wanted to see if there was another chicken on the other side.
3. He was trying to get home.
2. He was confused and forgot the way back.
1. His car broke down so he had to walk.
Millitary Koalas voice cast
Here's what the voice cast for the series Millitary Koalas would be like if it was aired on a different channel instead of our own one. Note that my character would be voiced by Rob Paulsen while my brother's one would be voiced by Maurice LaMarche.
Voice cast: Good guys
James Arnold Taylor - Sparky.
Eg Daily - Sparky Jr.
Dee Bradley Baker - Nigel.
Jeff Bennett - Elvis.
Rob Paulson - Mozart.
Tara Strong - Blondie.
Maurice LaMarche - Beethoven.
Tom Kenny - Elton.
Jack Angel - Falco.
Jess Harnell - Clark.
Grey DeLisle - Cher
Bill Fabberbakke - Sidney.
Vannessa Marshall - Madonna.
Voice cast: Bad Guys
Corey Burton - Donny Von Dingo
John Kassir - Manogator
Cree Summer - Spiderella
Frank Welker - Howler the thylacine
Jim Cunnings - Cesil the lizard man.
Brad Garrett - Great White Steve
Tim Curry - Morlock the dropbear
We like our voice cast just the way it is, we can't see anyone else voicing the role of Madonna except for Andria and that's because she brings a certain amount of awesome to the character. Speaking of Millitary Koalas there is a new recruit, his name is Michael and he is named after Michael Jackson.
Voice cast: Good guys
James Arnold Taylor - Sparky.
Eg Daily - Sparky Jr.
Dee Bradley Baker - Nigel.
Jeff Bennett - Elvis.
Rob Paulson - Mozart.
Tara Strong - Blondie.
Maurice LaMarche - Beethoven.
Tom Kenny - Elton.
Jack Angel - Falco.
Jess Harnell - Clark.
Grey DeLisle - Cher
Bill Fabberbakke - Sidney.
Vannessa Marshall - Madonna.
Voice cast: Bad Guys
Corey Burton - Donny Von Dingo
John Kassir - Manogator
Cree Summer - Spiderella
Frank Welker - Howler the thylacine
Jim Cunnings - Cesil the lizard man.
Brad Garrett - Great White Steve
Tim Curry - Morlock the dropbear
We like our voice cast just the way it is, we can't see anyone else voicing the role of Madonna except for Andria and that's because she brings a certain amount of awesome to the character. Speaking of Millitary Koalas there is a new recruit, his name is Michael and he is named after Michael Jackson.
Cronenberg
One of my favourite directors is David Cronenberg.
I especially love Videodrome, Scanners, Existenz, Dead Zone, Crash, and The Fly. The Fly is my absolute favourite of those films.
If you were born in 1950 you might recall the original version with the infamous scene where the scientist ends up with his head on a fly's body and is about to eaten by a spider and cries out "Help me!" in a tiny voice. But if you're an 80's fanatic like me then you might be more familiar with David Cronenberg's remake. It's like the original one except it's different, Jeff Goldblum doesn't end up with his head on a fly's body oh no- it's much worse he ends up turning into a really grotesque hybrid of human and fly. One crucial element that David Cronenberg never forgets to add in his movies is horrific transformations involving the body changing in really horrible ways (this type of transformation is known as either a Painful Transformation or Transformation Trauma, and is full of Body Horror).
It may have given quite a lot of viewers nightmares and Squicked them out, but it kind of inspired me. The Fly has been satirised numerous times. On one episode of Beetleborgs, Flabber brings a sketch of a teleportation device to life with his magic and gives it a test run, a fly-like monster named Kombat Gnat (who has a lot of razor sharp teeth and the ability to shrink) gets into the machine, their dna gets merged together and Flabber ends up turning into it like Jeff Goldblum in the movie. However he gets turned back to normal in the end.
David's work these days tend to be less viceral but i still like his style nonetheless.
So here's to David Cronenberg, the baron of body horror.
I especially love Videodrome, Scanners, Existenz, Dead Zone, Crash, and The Fly. The Fly is my absolute favourite of those films.
If you were born in 1950 you might recall the original version with the infamous scene where the scientist ends up with his head on a fly's body and is about to eaten by a spider and cries out "Help me!" in a tiny voice. But if you're an 80's fanatic like me then you might be more familiar with David Cronenberg's remake. It's like the original one except it's different, Jeff Goldblum doesn't end up with his head on a fly's body oh no- it's much worse he ends up turning into a really grotesque hybrid of human and fly. One crucial element that David Cronenberg never forgets to add in his movies is horrific transformations involving the body changing in really horrible ways (this type of transformation is known as either a Painful Transformation or Transformation Trauma, and is full of Body Horror).
It may have given quite a lot of viewers nightmares and Squicked them out, but it kind of inspired me. The Fly has been satirised numerous times. On one episode of Beetleborgs, Flabber brings a sketch of a teleportation device to life with his magic and gives it a test run, a fly-like monster named Kombat Gnat (who has a lot of razor sharp teeth and the ability to shrink) gets into the machine, their dna gets merged together and Flabber ends up turning into it like Jeff Goldblum in the movie. However he gets turned back to normal in the end.
David's work these days tend to be less viceral but i still like his style nonetheless.
So here's to David Cronenberg, the baron of body horror.
Toys i'd like Gemmy to make
Gemmy Toys makes some of the most entertaining toys on the market. Here are the ones I'd like to see them make:
1. Michael Jackson dancing hamsters
A new variation of their popular dancing hamsters. hamsters dressed as different era MJ - the Thriller hamster is dressed in the Thriller outfit and dances along to Thriller, the Beat It hamster dances along to Beat It, Billie Jean hamster dances to Billie Jean, the Bad hamster dances to the song "Bad" , the Black Or White hamster dances to Black Or White, the Childhood hamster (dressed in a Peter Pan costume) sings the song Childhood, the Ghosts hamster sings the song "Ghosts", and the Gangster Hamster sings You Rock My World.
2. John Candy animated figure
An animated John Candy figure that says lines from Stripes, Splash, Cool Runnings, JFK, Uncle Buck and P.T.A. Also does John's famous laugh.
3. Chumsley the werejohncandy singing plush
A singing plush werejohncandy that talks, roars happily and sings songs. The two songs he sings are "Everytime you go away" by Paul Young and "You're my best friend" by Queen.
4. Cassie the werejohncandy singing plush
Goes with the Chumsley one. She sings two songs..."Girls just want to have fun" by Cyndi Lauper and "Forever your girl" by Paula Abdul
1. Michael Jackson dancing hamsters
A new variation of their popular dancing hamsters. hamsters dressed as different era MJ - the Thriller hamster is dressed in the Thriller outfit and dances along to Thriller, the Beat It hamster dances along to Beat It, Billie Jean hamster dances to Billie Jean, the Bad hamster dances to the song "Bad" , the Black Or White hamster dances to Black Or White, the Childhood hamster (dressed in a Peter Pan costume) sings the song Childhood, the Ghosts hamster sings the song "Ghosts", and the Gangster Hamster sings You Rock My World.
2. John Candy animated figure
An animated John Candy figure that says lines from Stripes, Splash, Cool Runnings, JFK, Uncle Buck and P.T.A. Also does John's famous laugh.
3. Chumsley the werejohncandy singing plush
A singing plush werejohncandy that talks, roars happily and sings songs. The two songs he sings are "Everytime you go away" by Paul Young and "You're my best friend" by Queen.
4. Cassie the werejohncandy singing plush
Goes with the Chumsley one. She sings two songs..."Girls just want to have fun" by Cyndi Lauper and "Forever your girl" by Paula Abdul
Special powers and moves
I once had this dream where I took part in like a really crazy challenge that was set in a game arcade - and we had special moves and abilities.
I had 6 sets of unique types of moves. The first set was a phsyical set, the second is a Channeling set, the third is transformation based, the fourth is special summoning moves, the fifth is TVTropes based moves, and the sixth one is Special moves (i.e finishing moves and others)
Physical moves and abilities:
1. Power Punch.
2. Flying Karate Kid Kick.
3. Chinkiller (where I develop Jay Leno's chin and use it to ram the opponent)
4. Berserker Joe Swipe.
5. Ninja Flip.
Special "Channeling" moves and abilities:
1. Moonwalk (where I channel Michael Jackson and develop his voice and dance moves)
2. Worst Nightmare (I channel Freddy Krueger and develop his powers and sport a clawed glove)
3. Hail To The King (I channel Bruce Campbell, develop his lantern jaw of justice and sport a chainsaw arm and use a boomstick)
4. Uncle Buck Special (channel John Candy, develop his voice, and sport an Uncle Buck outfit, hat, and wield an electric drill)
5. Dance Magic (channel Jareth the goblin king, develop magic powers)
6. Lead with your chin (channels Jay Leno, develops his voice, mannerisms and chin)
7. Carrey On (channels Jim Carrey, and starts taking on Jim's mannerisms)
Transformation based moves and abilities:
1. Animal morph (feline) - allows me to morph into any sort of feline.
2. Animal morph (fish) - used for underwater battles, allows me to morph into any sort of fish.
3. Creature morph (Gargoyle) - allows me to turn into a gargoyle - including some of the ones from the Disney cartoon.
4. Creature morph (Superghoul) - allows me to morph into a superghoul like MJ in Ghosts - also enabling me to posesss my opponents.
5. Creature morph (Grinch) - take on the form of a Jim Carrey movie style grinch.
6. John Candify - turns into John Candy or one of his characters.
7. Mask Of Carrey - allows me to turn into Jim Carrey or one of his characters.
8. Creature morph (Werejohncandy) - allows me to turn into a big werejc.
9. Fist Full Of Boomstick - turns into Bruce Campbell.
10. Creature Morph (Tim Burtonesque demon) - turns me into a Tim Burtonesque creature.
Special "Summoning" moves and abilities:
1. Werejohncandy roar - summons Chumsley and Cassie.
2. Michael Jackson yell - summons the ghost of MJ.
3. Dance Of The Deviant - summons Deviantart mascot Fella (who uses a series of art based special moves including Paint Ball Bomb).
4. Goblin King Wish - Summons Jareth.
5. Magic Word - summons Superted.
6. The Bruce Cube - summons Bruce Campbell.
7. Jim In The Box - summons Jim Carrey.
8. Gargoyle Gather - summons the Manhattan Clan from Disney's Gargoyles.
9. Cool Runnings Chant - summons a Jamaica bobsled team and the ghost of John Candy.
10. Call Of The Steagle - Summons Stephen Colbert and Stephen Jr.
TVTropes based moves:
1. Nightmare Fuel - a big scary looking computer generated face floats around the opponent cooing in a sinister ghostly voice "You're not perfect" like the one from Courage the cowardly dog. Scares the opponent for the first three rounds.
2. High Octane Nightmare Fuel - a more powerful variation which involves summoning Eight Armed Willy and Candy Wife from The Marvelous Misadventures Of Flapjack.
3. Painful Transformation - can be used for dramatic effect or played for laughs near the beginning of a battle.
4. Transformation Trauma - can be used on the opponent to make THEM painfully transform into something they hate.
5. Body Horror - enables me to posess my opponents and also cause David Cronenberg style mutatations to happen to their bodies.
6. Baleful Polymorph - turns the opponent into a toad, rat, or worm.
7. Demon Head - enables me to scare the opponent with a really terrifying face ala Beetlejuice or Large Marge.
8. All Scaled Up - turns me into a kickass firebreathing lizard man.
9. One Winged Angel - I turn into a big powerful demon or similar creature, can be used near the end of a big battle.
10. Shapeshifting Squick - allows me to assume the form of Carmen Electra to attract opponents of the male gender - then squick them out by turning into some kind of swamp creature as they try to kiss me while in the form of Carmen.
Special moves:
1. Soul Stealer - enables me to steal the opponent's soul.
2. Flaming Death - enables me to set the opponent on fire.
3. Stars and Stripes - a superpowerful all american laser beam.
4. Omega Blast - a powerful sonic blast that sends the opponent flying.
5. Cartoonify - a move that allows me to turn my opponent into a cartoon version of themselves, then I use various looney toon style moves to dispose of them including anvils and a giant eraser.
6. Cuddle Buddy Hug - I turn into a big werejohncandy and give my opponent a big bear hug - crushing them.
I had 6 sets of unique types of moves. The first set was a phsyical set, the second is a Channeling set, the third is transformation based, the fourth is special summoning moves, the fifth is TVTropes based moves, and the sixth one is Special moves (i.e finishing moves and others)
Physical moves and abilities:
1. Power Punch.
2. Flying Karate Kid Kick.
3. Chinkiller (where I develop Jay Leno's chin and use it to ram the opponent)
4. Berserker Joe Swipe.
5. Ninja Flip.
Special "Channeling" moves and abilities:
1. Moonwalk (where I channel Michael Jackson and develop his voice and dance moves)
2. Worst Nightmare (I channel Freddy Krueger and develop his powers and sport a clawed glove)
3. Hail To The King (I channel Bruce Campbell, develop his lantern jaw of justice and sport a chainsaw arm and use a boomstick)
4. Uncle Buck Special (channel John Candy, develop his voice, and sport an Uncle Buck outfit, hat, and wield an electric drill)
5. Dance Magic (channel Jareth the goblin king, develop magic powers)
6. Lead with your chin (channels Jay Leno, develops his voice, mannerisms and chin)
7. Carrey On (channels Jim Carrey, and starts taking on Jim's mannerisms)
Transformation based moves and abilities:
1. Animal morph (feline) - allows me to morph into any sort of feline.
2. Animal morph (fish) - used for underwater battles, allows me to morph into any sort of fish.
3. Creature morph (Gargoyle) - allows me to turn into a gargoyle - including some of the ones from the Disney cartoon.
4. Creature morph (Superghoul) - allows me to morph into a superghoul like MJ in Ghosts - also enabling me to posesss my opponents.
5. Creature morph (Grinch) - take on the form of a Jim Carrey movie style grinch.
6. John Candify - turns into John Candy or one of his characters.
7. Mask Of Carrey - allows me to turn into Jim Carrey or one of his characters.
8. Creature morph (Werejohncandy) - allows me to turn into a big werejc.
9. Fist Full Of Boomstick - turns into Bruce Campbell.
10. Creature Morph (Tim Burtonesque demon) - turns me into a Tim Burtonesque creature.
Special "Summoning" moves and abilities:
1. Werejohncandy roar - summons Chumsley and Cassie.
2. Michael Jackson yell - summons the ghost of MJ.
3. Dance Of The Deviant - summons Deviantart mascot Fella (who uses a series of art based special moves including Paint Ball Bomb).
4. Goblin King Wish - Summons Jareth.
5. Magic Word - summons Superted.
6. The Bruce Cube - summons Bruce Campbell.
7. Jim In The Box - summons Jim Carrey.
8. Gargoyle Gather - summons the Manhattan Clan from Disney's Gargoyles.
9. Cool Runnings Chant - summons a Jamaica bobsled team and the ghost of John Candy.
10. Call Of The Steagle - Summons Stephen Colbert and Stephen Jr.
TVTropes based moves:
1. Nightmare Fuel - a big scary looking computer generated face floats around the opponent cooing in a sinister ghostly voice "You're not perfect" like the one from Courage the cowardly dog. Scares the opponent for the first three rounds.
2. High Octane Nightmare Fuel - a more powerful variation which involves summoning Eight Armed Willy and Candy Wife from The Marvelous Misadventures Of Flapjack.
3. Painful Transformation - can be used for dramatic effect or played for laughs near the beginning of a battle.
4. Transformation Trauma - can be used on the opponent to make THEM painfully transform into something they hate.
5. Body Horror - enables me to posess my opponents and also cause David Cronenberg style mutatations to happen to their bodies.
6. Baleful Polymorph - turns the opponent into a toad, rat, or worm.
7. Demon Head - enables me to scare the opponent with a really terrifying face ala Beetlejuice or Large Marge.
8. All Scaled Up - turns me into a kickass firebreathing lizard man.
9. One Winged Angel - I turn into a big powerful demon or similar creature, can be used near the end of a big battle.
10. Shapeshifting Squick - allows me to assume the form of Carmen Electra to attract opponents of the male gender - then squick them out by turning into some kind of swamp creature as they try to kiss me while in the form of Carmen.
Special moves:
1. Soul Stealer - enables me to steal the opponent's soul.
2. Flaming Death - enables me to set the opponent on fire.
3. Stars and Stripes - a superpowerful all american laser beam.
4. Omega Blast - a powerful sonic blast that sends the opponent flying.
5. Cartoonify - a move that allows me to turn my opponent into a cartoon version of themselves, then I use various looney toon style moves to dispose of them including anvils and a giant eraser.
6. Cuddle Buddy Hug - I turn into a big werejohncandy and give my opponent a big bear hug - crushing them.
Weapons of mass destruction
Here are my favourite iconic weapons/tools of mass destruction from movies:
1. Freddy Krueger's glove
This is one of the most recognisable trademarks of the nightmarish Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund). With claws that are equally as sharp as his wit, Freddy is everyone's worst nightmare - literally. Don't fall asleep.
2. Jason Voorhee's machette.
Jason is a man of few words, in fact he doesnt speak at all. But he still manages to be scary with his hockey mask and his machette.
3. Leatherface's chainsaw.
Leatherface has his trusty chainsaw when he needs to kill a few hapless victims or more. He grunts as he makes quick work of his victims.
4. Jack Torrance's axe.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Jack Nicholson goes absolutely axe crazy as Jack Torrance in The Shining - uttering the famous adlibed line "heeeeere's johnny!".
5. Norman Bate's kitchen knife.
Everyone's favourite nerdy serial killer wields this knife. Look out for him.
6. The microwave from the movie Gremlins
This simple household appliance is guranteed to make any gremlin go SPLAT in no time.
7. Sweeney Todd's razor.
You wouldn't want to get your haircut by the demon barber - most people who do usually lose their heads.
8. All of the weapons in Van Helsing's arsenal
Hugh Jackman is the man when it comes to fighting monsters, as the title character in the movie Van Helsing - he has an amazing arsenal of weapons that he uses to slay monsters.
9. Ash's chainsaw hand and boomstick.
Bruce Campbell is the one guy who is more badass than Chuck Norris. He's played quite a few roles in movies but most fans will tell you that his most famous one is of Ash in the Evil Dead films. As Ash, Bruce is a badass slayer of the undead. He is considered a GOD by his many fans and admirers.
And..
10. Uncle Buck's drill and hatchet.
Ever hear of a ritual killing? Just when you think that there's no one who is as badass as Chuck Norris and Bruce Campbell - along comes the most unlikely one of them all - and his name is John Candy. Now some of you might be thinking..."But how can John Candy be badass and dangerous? He's just so big and cuddly!". Sure he seems like the kind of guy you would want as a dad, best friend or uncle.. but there is more to ol Uncle Buck than meets the eye. He gets several moments of awesome and badass in the film including when he gives the school principal a rather stern talking too, as well as the scene where he punches a clown in the face. Buck is a force to be recconed with, and can be pretty badass especially when pretending to be menacing. When he opens the door at the party with that drill...that's his defining moment of badass right there. Don't mess with the John Candyman. How badass is he? Buck is so badass that on Youtube someone posted a version of the trailer from the movie and edited to make it look like a horror movie.
1. Freddy Krueger's glove
This is one of the most recognisable trademarks of the nightmarish Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund). With claws that are equally as sharp as his wit, Freddy is everyone's worst nightmare - literally. Don't fall asleep.
2. Jason Voorhee's machette.
Jason is a man of few words, in fact he doesnt speak at all. But he still manages to be scary with his hockey mask and his machette.
3. Leatherface's chainsaw.
Leatherface has his trusty chainsaw when he needs to kill a few hapless victims or more. He grunts as he makes quick work of his victims.
4. Jack Torrance's axe.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Jack Nicholson goes absolutely axe crazy as Jack Torrance in The Shining - uttering the famous adlibed line "heeeeere's johnny!".
5. Norman Bate's kitchen knife.
Everyone's favourite nerdy serial killer wields this knife. Look out for him.
6. The microwave from the movie Gremlins
This simple household appliance is guranteed to make any gremlin go SPLAT in no time.
7. Sweeney Todd's razor.
You wouldn't want to get your haircut by the demon barber - most people who do usually lose their heads.
8. All of the weapons in Van Helsing's arsenal
Hugh Jackman is the man when it comes to fighting monsters, as the title character in the movie Van Helsing - he has an amazing arsenal of weapons that he uses to slay monsters.
9. Ash's chainsaw hand and boomstick.
Bruce Campbell is the one guy who is more badass than Chuck Norris. He's played quite a few roles in movies but most fans will tell you that his most famous one is of Ash in the Evil Dead films. As Ash, Bruce is a badass slayer of the undead. He is considered a GOD by his many fans and admirers.
And..
10. Uncle Buck's drill and hatchet.
Ever hear of a ritual killing? Just when you think that there's no one who is as badass as Chuck Norris and Bruce Campbell - along comes the most unlikely one of them all - and his name is John Candy. Now some of you might be thinking..."But how can John Candy be badass and dangerous? He's just so big and cuddly!". Sure he seems like the kind of guy you would want as a dad, best friend or uncle.. but there is more to ol Uncle Buck than meets the eye. He gets several moments of awesome and badass in the film including when he gives the school principal a rather stern talking too, as well as the scene where he punches a clown in the face. Buck is a force to be recconed with, and can be pretty badass especially when pretending to be menacing. When he opens the door at the party with that drill...that's his defining moment of badass right there. Don't mess with the John Candyman. How badass is he? Buck is so badass that on Youtube someone posted a version of the trailer from the movie and edited to make it look like a horror movie.
My Name Is Bruce
As we all know, Bruce Campbell is a god.
And here are my favourite lines from My Name Is Bruce:
1. "If I say no three times will the candyman come out!?"
2. "Consider yourself exempt from my wrath sweetcakes. If you're a little lucky later i'll let you play with my boomstick."
3. "Graham. I bet all the boys go cracker over you!".
4. "Ever see Rawhide (old guy: Yeah) You like it? (old guy: Yeah) Well you know you gotta keep those doggies rolling." *kicks the old guy's wheelchair*
6. "Say no more Mr mayor. My hero senses are tingling. Woo woo woo. I sense that the town of goldlick is in trouble, big trouble and you need my help. Hmmm..do ya? Do you need my help Mr Mayor, yes or no? (Mayor: That's exactly right). How about that, put the words right in your mouth didn't I? But not just any help, huh. You need someone special, someone who can take on a heinous monster and stop him in his tracks and take him to justice. That would be me. Woah! Ha ha ha. Mr Mayor, your worries are over, because there's a new sherrif in town and he's gonna clean up this mess. Goldlick, it's a good day. I'm here to help!".
7. "Settle down Shatner!"
8. "Hooch for the pooch."
9. "Ha. You want diasasters? Anyone here seen Assault on Dome 4 (Jeff: That's probably one of my favourite movies..) to Jeff: Don't answer that."
10. "Okay when did my ex wife start modeling?"
11. "I'm sorry, did you say unreashed?"
12. "I've heard of breakdancing but this is ridiculous."
13. "Hey lady, 10 cents a ride. No exceptions."
14. "What's that? (Kelly: Nothing) Oh no. Corners of your mouth turned up at the edges, there's an old indian saying for that phemenon...cahoota tallee-a smiley. That's chereoke for she who smiles at one she no longer continues to hate."
15. "Wow. It's really something. You know Jeff, i've gotten a lot of use of chainsaws over the years. Killed a lot of zombies, saved a lot of lives...but at the end of the day when push goes to shove...they're just too damm heavy."
And here are my favourite lines from My Name Is Bruce:
1. "If I say no three times will the candyman come out!?"
2. "Consider yourself exempt from my wrath sweetcakes. If you're a little lucky later i'll let you play with my boomstick."
3. "Graham. I bet all the boys go cracker over you!".
4. "Ever see Rawhide (old guy: Yeah) You like it? (old guy: Yeah) Well you know you gotta keep those doggies rolling." *kicks the old guy's wheelchair*
6. "Say no more Mr mayor. My hero senses are tingling. Woo woo woo. I sense that the town of goldlick is in trouble, big trouble and you need my help. Hmmm..do ya? Do you need my help Mr Mayor, yes or no? (Mayor: That's exactly right). How about that, put the words right in your mouth didn't I? But not just any help, huh. You need someone special, someone who can take on a heinous monster and stop him in his tracks and take him to justice. That would be me. Woah! Ha ha ha. Mr Mayor, your worries are over, because there's a new sherrif in town and he's gonna clean up this mess. Goldlick, it's a good day. I'm here to help!".
7. "Settle down Shatner!"
8. "Hooch for the pooch."
9. "Ha. You want diasasters? Anyone here seen Assault on Dome 4 (Jeff: That's probably one of my favourite movies..) to Jeff: Don't answer that."
10. "Okay when did my ex wife start modeling?"
11. "I'm sorry, did you say unreashed?"
12. "I've heard of breakdancing but this is ridiculous."
13. "Hey lady, 10 cents a ride. No exceptions."
14. "What's that? (Kelly: Nothing) Oh no. Corners of your mouth turned up at the edges, there's an old indian saying for that phemenon...cahoota tallee-a smiley. That's chereoke for she who smiles at one she no longer continues to hate."
15. "Wow. It's really something. You know Jeff, i've gotten a lot of use of chainsaws over the years. Killed a lot of zombies, saved a lot of lives...but at the end of the day when push goes to shove...they're just too damm heavy."
Best cartoon ever
Gargoyles is one of my all time favourite cartoons. It was darkier and edgier than most Disney fare. I watched it a lot and it never failed to impress me.
Favourite characters:
1. Goliath.
2. Hudson.
3. Broadway.
4. Brookyln.
5. David Xanatos.
6. Demona
7. Puck.
8. Oberon
9. Macbeth.
10. Fox
Favourite episodes:
1. Hunter's Moon.
2. High Noon.
3. Eye Of The Beholder.
4. Reawakening.
5. City Of Stone.
6. Possession.
7. Mark Of The Panther.
8. Angels Of The Night (Goliath Chronicles).
9. The Mirror.
10. Leader Of The Pack.
Reasons I loved the show so much:
1. It was very cleverly written.
2. The characters were all great.
3. The voice acting was incredible especially Keith David.
4. The storylines were deep and extremely facinating.
5. It paid homage to Shakespeare.
6. The animation was beautiful.
7. Awesome character designs.
8. It was a very clever show.
9. There are so many things to love about it.
10. The extremely epic intro and opening theme
Favourite characters:
1. Goliath.
2. Hudson.
3. Broadway.
4. Brookyln.
5. David Xanatos.
6. Demona
7. Puck.
8. Oberon
9. Macbeth.
10. Fox
Favourite episodes:
1. Hunter's Moon.
2. High Noon.
3. Eye Of The Beholder.
4. Reawakening.
5. City Of Stone.
6. Possession.
7. Mark Of The Panther.
8. Angels Of The Night (Goliath Chronicles).
9. The Mirror.
10. Leader Of The Pack.
Reasons I loved the show so much:
1. It was very cleverly written.
2. The characters were all great.
3. The voice acting was incredible especially Keith David.
4. The storylines were deep and extremely facinating.
5. It paid homage to Shakespeare.
6. The animation was beautiful.
7. Awesome character designs.
8. It was a very clever show.
9. There are so many things to love about it.
10. The extremely epic intro and opening theme
Jay related nightmares
I've had about 27 nightmares with Jay as the main antagonist in them in total and these ones are nightmares 12-14.
Jay Nightmare 12#:
Little Shop Of Horrors parody. Exactly like the film. Transformation scene is of Cartman into some sort of plantboy. Villain songs by Jay include "Feed Me" "Mean Green" and "Suppertime". Jay plays the Audrey II plant. My mom can be seen during the scene where the Audrey II plant eats the dentist. Has quite a few scary scenes. Quite a bit of blood is shown. Fortunately mom doesn't get eaten but there is a scene where the Audrey II plant tossess her around like a ragdoll.
Jay Nightmare 13#:
A rock opera themed one. It's a rock opera with me as the main character mom, Ratty, Piwi, dad and Troles have supporting roles in it, Kage and Jables make appearances in it alongside their dad's, and Jay plays the villain who is a vampire. Transformation scene is of me turning into a vampire after being bitten by Jay. Villain songs by Jay include "I Want Your Blood!" ""Tasty Blood", and "I'm Gonna Get Ya" - Tasty Blood has the same tune as the song Toxic Love (sung by Tim Curry as the voice of Hexxus in Ferngully). This one was very scary, especially the "I'm Gonna Get Ya" song sung by Jay, and also my transformation into a vampire, and the scene where she go up to Jay and he hissess at her. There is quite a lot of blood shown in this one. Mom doesn't die in this, but falls under Jay's spell and becomes his slave.
Jay Nightmare 14#:
A parody of the film Christine. In it, dad buys a new car, the car in particular resembles one of Jay's own cars- this one has dad as the title character. Jay provides the voice of the car. My dad thinks that his new car is great and so does mom but I think there's something weird about it. Turns out that the car is evil and a lethal killing machine. The villain song from Jay for this one is "Run Over You". Transformation scene is of mom turning into some sort of robot that can meld with machinery. Scary scenes including the evil car running people over. Mom doesn't die in this but does become a robot in one scene. There's not too much gore in it. This one scared me a lot.
Jay Nightmare 15#:
A homage to movies like Society and Monster Squad. Basically i'm wondering around the house really late at night, I walk into the living room and am freaked out to see that the Tonight Show is on tv, Jay's doing one of his monologue jokes, my dad's asleep and my mom is the only other person in the house who's awake at this hour, I try turning the volume down but nothing happen, I then try changing the channel try turning the tv off but no matter how much I try- Jay is still on the tv. So I turn werejohncandy and smash the tv with my super strength. I exit the room, but as I exit it- I hear Jay's voice taunting me, I get really scared, I then cry for him to stop but he doesn't listen and continues tormenting me. I run into my mom's bedroom, I turn back into my human form and tell mom that Jay is trying to get me, then Jay appears saying that he wants revenge on me for those "letters" i've sent him, I try to fight him off but then Jay hits me really hard with his chin. Then I undergo a painful American Werewolf style transformation into a wereleno- which is extremely horrible, I become evil and everything. The villain song Jay performs in this is "No Escape". The transformation scenes including 2 ones of the little Jay doll turning vampric and one extremely horrifying painful American Werewolf style one of me changing into a wereleno (it's really scary). Mom doesn't die in this but unfortunately she is her bedroom with me when I undergo my painful transformation of turning into a wereleno. This one is the scariest one i've ever had- the scene where I turn into an evil wereleno is very traumatizing, mainly because it's a homage to American Werewolf In London and the fact that it's a very painful transformation (I cry out "Help me! Please help me! Help me! No! No! I don't want to be a wereleno again! Help me! Heeeeeelp me! Nooooooooooooooo!" while in mid transformation into a wereleno and what makes it creepier is that my voice kind of changes from my normal voice to Jay's nasty nasally voice). That transformation sequence scared me to no end (the growing chin part was very horrible and painful). This nightmare is the one i'm most scared by the most, and this nightmare is the main reason why I'm sometimes freaked out by Jay. I've been having this one frequently and to this very day whenever I see Jay on tv or in pictures or anything like that I freak out
Jay Nightmare 12#:
Little Shop Of Horrors parody. Exactly like the film. Transformation scene is of Cartman into some sort of plantboy. Villain songs by Jay include "Feed Me" "Mean Green" and "Suppertime". Jay plays the Audrey II plant. My mom can be seen during the scene where the Audrey II plant eats the dentist. Has quite a few scary scenes. Quite a bit of blood is shown. Fortunately mom doesn't get eaten but there is a scene where the Audrey II plant tossess her around like a ragdoll.
Jay Nightmare 13#:
A rock opera themed one. It's a rock opera with me as the main character mom, Ratty, Piwi, dad and Troles have supporting roles in it, Kage and Jables make appearances in it alongside their dad's, and Jay plays the villain who is a vampire. Transformation scene is of me turning into a vampire after being bitten by Jay. Villain songs by Jay include "I Want Your Blood!" ""Tasty Blood", and "I'm Gonna Get Ya" - Tasty Blood has the same tune as the song Toxic Love (sung by Tim Curry as the voice of Hexxus in Ferngully). This one was very scary, especially the "I'm Gonna Get Ya" song sung by Jay, and also my transformation into a vampire, and the scene where she go up to Jay and he hissess at her. There is quite a lot of blood shown in this one. Mom doesn't die in this, but falls under Jay's spell and becomes his slave.
Jay Nightmare 14#:
A parody of the film Christine. In it, dad buys a new car, the car in particular resembles one of Jay's own cars- this one has dad as the title character. Jay provides the voice of the car. My dad thinks that his new car is great and so does mom but I think there's something weird about it. Turns out that the car is evil and a lethal killing machine. The villain song from Jay for this one is "Run Over You". Transformation scene is of mom turning into some sort of robot that can meld with machinery. Scary scenes including the evil car running people over. Mom doesn't die in this but does become a robot in one scene. There's not too much gore in it. This one scared me a lot.
Jay Nightmare 15#:
A homage to movies like Society and Monster Squad. Basically i'm wondering around the house really late at night, I walk into the living room and am freaked out to see that the Tonight Show is on tv, Jay's doing one of his monologue jokes, my dad's asleep and my mom is the only other person in the house who's awake at this hour, I try turning the volume down but nothing happen, I then try changing the channel try turning the tv off but no matter how much I try- Jay is still on the tv. So I turn werejohncandy and smash the tv with my super strength. I exit the room, but as I exit it- I hear Jay's voice taunting me, I get really scared, I then cry for him to stop but he doesn't listen and continues tormenting me. I run into my mom's bedroom, I turn back into my human form and tell mom that Jay is trying to get me, then Jay appears saying that he wants revenge on me for those "letters" i've sent him, I try to fight him off but then Jay hits me really hard with his chin. Then I undergo a painful American Werewolf style transformation into a wereleno- which is extremely horrible, I become evil and everything. The villain song Jay performs in this is "No Escape". The transformation scenes including 2 ones of the little Jay doll turning vampric and one extremely horrifying painful American Werewolf style one of me changing into a wereleno (it's really scary). Mom doesn't die in this but unfortunately she is her bedroom with me when I undergo my painful transformation of turning into a wereleno. This one is the scariest one i've ever had- the scene where I turn into an evil wereleno is very traumatizing, mainly because it's a homage to American Werewolf In London and the fact that it's a very painful transformation (I cry out "Help me! Please help me! Help me! No! No! I don't want to be a wereleno again! Help me! Heeeeeelp me! Nooooooooooooooo!" while in mid transformation into a wereleno and what makes it creepier is that my voice kind of changes from my normal voice to Jay's nasty nasally voice). That transformation sequence scared me to no end (the growing chin part was very horrible and painful). This nightmare is the one i'm most scared by the most, and this nightmare is the main reason why I'm sometimes freaked out by Jay. I've been having this one frequently and to this very day whenever I see Jay on tv or in pictures or anything like that I freak out
Coco VS Leno
I mean no offense to my good friend Jay Leno, but this whole late night war thing is getting confusing.
------
The war of late night chat shows has been going on for quite a long time, first Jay VS David Letterman and now Jay VS Conan O Brian.
Jay Leno has been host of the Tonight Show for over 17 years now - he "left" the show near the end of May last year and got his own primetime show in September.
Conan took over from Leno the following monday after he left the show.
Now here's where things take a turn for the worse...
Apparently some sources say it was the network's decision to fire Conan and to have Jay back - which of course upset a lot of "Coco" fans out - you know, the ones who do the "I'm With Coco" badges and posters as well as quite a few of the photomanips ascioated with the campaign you see on Deviantart.
The Conan fans out there do NOT want Jay to return - back now Jay is back. So what happens to poor Conan? Nobody knows really.
What really happened? I suspect it was all part of Jay's evil plan. That's right, I believe that Leno is evil - pure unrelenting evil at it's worst. Not only is he evil, but he is also a sell-out. Bill Hicks was right about Jay - Jay is a corporate shill. I saw those Doritos ads with him in them on Youtube and I heard Bill's words echo in my head as I saw them.
Jay is NOT as nice as he makes you believe he is, I believe that the man is evil - pure EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL! Jay is evil and I have numerous legiminate reasons why.
It has been my suspicion that Jay is some sort of vampire - as in my nightmares he often appears as a vampire-like character. And in most of those nightmares there's a lot of horrific transformation scenes mainly of me into a creature called the WereLeno (which I wrote about in one of yesterday's submissions).
I conclude that Jay simply is an evil, cruel, heartless monster and must be stopped.
------
The war of late night chat shows has been going on for quite a long time, first Jay VS David Letterman and now Jay VS Conan O Brian.
Jay Leno has been host of the Tonight Show for over 17 years now - he "left" the show near the end of May last year and got his own primetime show in September.
Conan took over from Leno the following monday after he left the show.
Now here's where things take a turn for the worse...
Apparently some sources say it was the network's decision to fire Conan and to have Jay back - which of course upset a lot of "Coco" fans out - you know, the ones who do the "I'm With Coco" badges and posters as well as quite a few of the photomanips ascioated with the campaign you see on Deviantart.
The Conan fans out there do NOT want Jay to return - back now Jay is back. So what happens to poor Conan? Nobody knows really.
What really happened? I suspect it was all part of Jay's evil plan. That's right, I believe that Leno is evil - pure unrelenting evil at it's worst. Not only is he evil, but he is also a sell-out. Bill Hicks was right about Jay - Jay is a corporate shill. I saw those Doritos ads with him in them on Youtube and I heard Bill's words echo in my head as I saw them.
Jay is NOT as nice as he makes you believe he is, I believe that the man is evil - pure EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL! Jay is evil and I have numerous legiminate reasons why.
It has been my suspicion that Jay is some sort of vampire - as in my nightmares he often appears as a vampire-like character. And in most of those nightmares there's a lot of horrific transformation scenes mainly of me into a creature called the WereLeno (which I wrote about in one of yesterday's submissions).
I conclude that Jay simply is an evil, cruel, heartless monster and must be stopped.
Disney Channel teen stars
Here is the truth behind Disney Channel's teen stars - none of them are actually human, in fact some are androids. The disney company sold it's soul to the devil in order to make shows like Hannah Montana, HSM, and Jonas.
Also HSM is actually part of their evil plan to rule the world - which works in the same way as Hulu's plan to destroy the world except they want to brainwash us and make us all into mindless drones so that we'll do their evil bidding instead of attempting to turn our brains to mush like Alec Baldwin says in the Hulu advert that aired during the superbowl a couple of years back.
Luckily if your kids are smart enough to resist the evil charms of Hannah and company than they will be unaffected.
Also some sources state that Miley might in fact actually be a werewolf or similar creature - most likely a wendigo.
I conclude that Disney has become an evil organisation run by a corrupt corporate executive archetype who has access to mind control technology.
Also HSM is actually part of their evil plan to rule the world - which works in the same way as Hulu's plan to destroy the world except they want to brainwash us and make us all into mindless drones so that we'll do their evil bidding instead of attempting to turn our brains to mush like Alec Baldwin says in the Hulu advert that aired during the superbowl a couple of years back.
Luckily if your kids are smart enough to resist the evil charms of Hannah and company than they will be unaffected.
Also some sources state that Miley might in fact actually be a werewolf or similar creature - most likely a wendigo.
I conclude that Disney has become an evil organisation run by a corrupt corporate executive archetype who has access to mind control technology.
Bruce vs Jay
Now depending on who you ask some might say that Chuck Norris is the most awesome man in the world.
But the correct answer is Bruce Campbell. In case you don't know who Bruce is, he is a great actor famous for his role as Ash in the Evil Dead films. He is an incredibly handsome, talented star with a lantern jaw of justice and he's the most badass guy in the movie industry.
Bruce just has that effect on people, he's just so awesome that people immediatley take notice - some even worship him . And who wouldn't? He's kickass.
His chin is very big, impressive and mighty. It's more mightier than Jay Leno's one.
Also I should mention that both Bruce and Jay are bitter rivals and once had a great Chin War to see whose chin was more impressive. Bruce won, and Jay lost. Leno is still mad that he lost and claims that Bruce cheated (which isn't entirely true because it is considered cheat only by regular chin war standards, but not on Bruce Campbellian standards - so it was a Bruce Campbell bias) - well he should be the one talking because he stole his old show back from Conan O Brian.
Jay challenged Bruce to another chin-off - which is taking place right now as i am typing this.
I cannot tell who the winner is going to be but it looks like they're really having a go at eachother.
I conclude that Bruce might win this one again like he did last time - unless Leno has a dirty trick or two up his sleeve.
But the correct answer is Bruce Campbell. In case you don't know who Bruce is, he is a great actor famous for his role as Ash in the Evil Dead films. He is an incredibly handsome, talented star with a lantern jaw of justice and he's the most badass guy in the movie industry.
Bruce just has that effect on people, he's just so awesome that people immediatley take notice - some even worship him . And who wouldn't? He's kickass.
His chin is very big, impressive and mighty. It's more mightier than Jay Leno's one.
Also I should mention that both Bruce and Jay are bitter rivals and once had a great Chin War to see whose chin was more impressive. Bruce won, and Jay lost. Leno is still mad that he lost and claims that Bruce cheated (which isn't entirely true because it is considered cheat only by regular chin war standards, but not on Bruce Campbellian standards - so it was a Bruce Campbell bias) - well he should be the one talking because he stole his old show back from Conan O Brian.
Jay challenged Bruce to another chin-off - which is taking place right now as i am typing this.
I cannot tell who the winner is going to be but it looks like they're really having a go at eachother.
I conclude that Bruce might win this one again like he did last time - unless Leno has a dirty trick or two up his sleeve.
Innocent MJ
The late Michael Jackson was a musical visionary, there is no one quite like him.
Of all of his achievements, I find Ghosts to be one of his best.
Stan Winston worked with Michael Jackson on the short film Ghosts which was a really amazing halloween themed video. MJ played 5 characters in the movie.
The makeup in Ghosts was so incredible it was mind blowing. Now you may not know this but the hefty, middle aged white guy with glassess is MJ - and no i'm not joking. That IS Michael in makeup as the "Mayor" character.
Some people could not tell it was him - in fact some people on youtube say the mayor looks like Roger Ebert the film critic. In fact, in a review of "Ghosts" on the site Agony Booth the reviewer refers to the Mayor as "Mayor Ebert" - a nod to the fact that the 1998 Godzilla movie in which the mayor of the city was named Mayor Ebert and looked a lot like the film critic Roger Ebert. I wonder if Roger Ebert knows about that one.
According to Ritchie Alonzo (the guy who created the Mayor makeup) in the August 2009 issue of Makeup Artist Magazine - Michael went out as the "Mayor" character.
I also enjoyed the message the video had. I am one of the many people out there who believes that MJ is innocent and not a pedophile.
I was also slightly offended by the jokes Jay Leno made about him during the 2005 trial era. The worst was a phony interview with MJ which is actually just footage from the Living With Michael Jackson special with Jay inserted in Martin Bashir's place. Not only did Jay make Michael look like a fool in that fake interview but he also butchered one of Michael's best songs - and i' m talking about Billie Jean. He gets the lyrics wrong - well gets the "Billie Jean is not my lover" part right but he gets the part after that confused, he sings..."He's just a guy." Everyone knows the titular person of the song Billie Jean is a female NOT a male - apparently Leno doesn't know the lyrics properly.
Therefore, Leno knows nothing about MJ. Just be glad he's not doing any MJ jokes now - it would be in bad taste if he did - as you must never speak ill of the dead.
Also the story behind the song Billie Jean oddly enough is that there was a woman who accused MJ of being the father of one of her twins.
MJ is, was, and always will be an inspiration to musicians everywhere no matter what the media says about him.
Of all of his achievements, I find Ghosts to be one of his best.
Stan Winston worked with Michael Jackson on the short film Ghosts which was a really amazing halloween themed video. MJ played 5 characters in the movie.
The makeup in Ghosts was so incredible it was mind blowing. Now you may not know this but the hefty, middle aged white guy with glassess is MJ - and no i'm not joking. That IS Michael in makeup as the "Mayor" character.
Some people could not tell it was him - in fact some people on youtube say the mayor looks like Roger Ebert the film critic. In fact, in a review of "Ghosts" on the site Agony Booth the reviewer refers to the Mayor as "Mayor Ebert" - a nod to the fact that the 1998 Godzilla movie in which the mayor of the city was named Mayor Ebert and looked a lot like the film critic Roger Ebert. I wonder if Roger Ebert knows about that one.
According to Ritchie Alonzo (the guy who created the Mayor makeup) in the August 2009 issue of Makeup Artist Magazine - Michael went out as the "Mayor" character.
I also enjoyed the message the video had. I am one of the many people out there who believes that MJ is innocent and not a pedophile.
I was also slightly offended by the jokes Jay Leno made about him during the 2005 trial era. The worst was a phony interview with MJ which is actually just footage from the Living With Michael Jackson special with Jay inserted in Martin Bashir's place. Not only did Jay make Michael look like a fool in that fake interview but he also butchered one of Michael's best songs - and i' m talking about Billie Jean. He gets the lyrics wrong - well gets the "Billie Jean is not my lover" part right but he gets the part after that confused, he sings..."He's just a guy." Everyone knows the titular person of the song Billie Jean is a female NOT a male - apparently Leno doesn't know the lyrics properly.
Therefore, Leno knows nothing about MJ. Just be glad he's not doing any MJ jokes now - it would be in bad taste if he did - as you must never speak ill of the dead.
Also the story behind the song Billie Jean oddly enough is that there was a woman who accused MJ of being the father of one of her twins.
MJ is, was, and always will be an inspiration to musicians everywhere no matter what the media says about him.
Tuesday 30 March 2010
Leno special edition
The Chintastic 2-disc Special Edition of Leno is available on bluray and dvd and it's packed full of interesting special features.
Leno special features disc 1:
•DVD commentary by me and my brother.
•DVD Commentary by Jay (me in character as Jay Leno, it's kind of like "The King" commentary on the Bubba Ho-Tep DVD)
•Original theatrical trailer.
•Sing along track.
•Tonight Show Kids commercial
•Pop-Up Facts.
Leno special features disc 2:
•Behind the scenes documentaries.
•Deleted scenes.
•Outtakes.
•Storyboard to screen comparisons.
•Interactive Chinstar comic.
•Jay Leno playtime friend commercial.
•The Man Behind The Story.
•Roc's Workshop (a look inside the workshop of our special effects supervisor Rock Hemmerson)
•Little Jay and Friends short cartoons.
•Crazy character creation: A documentary about the makeup process I had to undergo to play Jay.
•Backstage Secrets.
•Me and my brother's tonight show appearance.
Those are all the dvd features. The dvd includes never before seen musical numbers that weren't in the original version. The bluray version also has these special features as well.
In the film version of Leno the love song that plays in the background during the part where Jay and Mavis are having their romantic evening together is Take My Breath Away by Berlin. This song is from the movie Top Gun and has been featured in commercials and tv shows including the trailer for Toy Story 3 that debuted last month (during the scene where Barbie meets Ken).
The reason we chose that song is because it is not only an awesome song but it is also powerful and a really lovely 80's song. When we were picking a love song to use in that scene with Jay and Mavis we decided against using My Heart Will Go On from Titanic because these days it's been overdone - and it's been played so many times it's become annoying.
Leno special features disc 1:
•DVD commentary by me and my brother.
•DVD Commentary by Jay (me in character as Jay Leno, it's kind of like "The King" commentary on the Bubba Ho-Tep DVD)
•Original theatrical trailer.
•Sing along track.
•Tonight Show Kids commercial
•Pop-Up Facts.
Leno special features disc 2:
•Behind the scenes documentaries.
•Deleted scenes.
•Outtakes.
•Storyboard to screen comparisons.
•Interactive Chinstar comic.
•Jay Leno playtime friend commercial.
•The Man Behind The Story.
•Roc's Workshop (a look inside the workshop of our special effects supervisor Rock Hemmerson)
•Little Jay and Friends short cartoons.
•Crazy character creation: A documentary about the makeup process I had to undergo to play Jay.
•Backstage Secrets.
•Me and my brother's tonight show appearance.
Those are all the dvd features. The dvd includes never before seen musical numbers that weren't in the original version. The bluray version also has these special features as well.
In the film version of Leno the love song that plays in the background during the part where Jay and Mavis are having their romantic evening together is Take My Breath Away by Berlin. This song is from the movie Top Gun and has been featured in commercials and tv shows including the trailer for Toy Story 3 that debuted last month (during the scene where Barbie meets Ken).
The reason we chose that song is because it is not only an awesome song but it is also powerful and a really lovely 80's song. When we were picking a love song to use in that scene with Jay and Mavis we decided against using My Heart Will Go On from Titanic because these days it's been overdone - and it's been played so many times it's become annoying.
Leno dvd
As many of you all know- our production of Leno was without a doubt one of the most sucessful shows we've ever done. The movie version was also pretty great. I think the most fun part of it was playing all those different characters as well as Jay. Of course both the stage and film versions were good. The Chintastic Extended 2-Disc Edition on Bluray and DVD has tons of bonus features including a clip of our appearance on the Tonight Show and some hillarious commentary done by me as Jay.
My portray of Jay won me several awards and Jay himself even praised my performance.
One time while we were filming a scene for the film version I actually had a little fun and I went around town in the Jay Leno makeup and costume pretending to be like the real Jay- no one could tell it was me- the makeup was just so well done and realistic.
Leno was a very fun production and the film version was also pretty fun to do.
My portray of Jay won me several awards and Jay himself even praised my performance.
One time while we were filming a scene for the film version I actually had a little fun and I went around town in the Jay Leno makeup and costume pretending to be like the real Jay- no one could tell it was me- the makeup was just so well done and realistic.
Leno was a very fun production and the film version was also pretty fun to do.
WereLeno Alert
We've got some really horrible news for you, it seems that a Wereleno has been released from the dark dimension by my arch nemesis/evil counterpart the diabolical Dr Madness.
If you see this particular WereLeno don't go near him. Alert us or Chinstar immediantley. Also the only thing that can stop a WereLeno is Bruce Campbell.
We would go after it ourselves but i'm afraid that it might result in me getting attacked and turning into one again. Which I would NOT want to happen to me after the last time.
The last time I got turned into a WereLeno it was so horrible, the transformations into one were always so painful, scary and traumatic. Not to mention I was evil when I got turned into one - had no control of my actions and most of the time it was like i was possessed. Not to mention me and Chinstar became arch enemies because of this for a short while.
Luckily due to the fact i'm half Canadian forest werejc now - there's no chance of me ever turning over to the dark side of the chin again. But unfortunately my brother is not so lucky - so i hope that he does not end up becoming a wereleno - because i'd hate having to fight my own brother.
For those who are curious I still have that chin shaped mark on my shoulder from the time Jay Leno rammed me with his chin - when I was an evil wereleno it used to glow to signify my transformation into one, but now that i am not one anymore it doesn't glow - but i still like to tell my friends stories about it though.
For the main part WereLenos are evil and as such often serve the role as antagonists in our various tv shows and movies as well as in some of our graphic novels. The only acception is Sam "Chinstar" Leno's role on our show The Misadventures Of Doc M, He plays the only good WereLeno and a superhero parody. In halloween episodes he often is seen is dressed as the character Ash from the Evil Dead films and in one halloween episode actually fights off a horde of deadites. One of which was a homage to Army Of Darkness. My character briefly became an evil WereLeno in the nightmare episode where he enters the Nightmare Realm - a realm where your worst fears come alive - and my character's worst fear is being turned into an evil Wereleno.
Our transformation themed show Night Of Alterations which is similar to Tales From The Crypt, The Twilight Zone, and Tales From The Darkside has several sagas one of which is the Wrath Of The WereLeno Saga, in which all the episodes have a wereleno in them.
Also in one episode of The Adventures Of Chinstar, there is an evil WereLeno who tries to get his hands on a sacred book.
If you see this particular WereLeno don't go near him. Alert us or Chinstar immediantley. Also the only thing that can stop a WereLeno is Bruce Campbell.
We would go after it ourselves but i'm afraid that it might result in me getting attacked and turning into one again. Which I would NOT want to happen to me after the last time.
The last time I got turned into a WereLeno it was so horrible, the transformations into one were always so painful, scary and traumatic. Not to mention I was evil when I got turned into one - had no control of my actions and most of the time it was like i was possessed. Not to mention me and Chinstar became arch enemies because of this for a short while.
Luckily due to the fact i'm half Canadian forest werejc now - there's no chance of me ever turning over to the dark side of the chin again. But unfortunately my brother is not so lucky - so i hope that he does not end up becoming a wereleno - because i'd hate having to fight my own brother.
For those who are curious I still have that chin shaped mark on my shoulder from the time Jay Leno rammed me with his chin - when I was an evil wereleno it used to glow to signify my transformation into one, but now that i am not one anymore it doesn't glow - but i still like to tell my friends stories about it though.
For the main part WereLenos are evil and as such often serve the role as antagonists in our various tv shows and movies as well as in some of our graphic novels. The only acception is Sam "Chinstar" Leno's role on our show The Misadventures Of Doc M, He plays the only good WereLeno and a superhero parody. In halloween episodes he often is seen is dressed as the character Ash from the Evil Dead films and in one halloween episode actually fights off a horde of deadites. One of which was a homage to Army Of Darkness. My character briefly became an evil WereLeno in the nightmare episode where he enters the Nightmare Realm - a realm where your worst fears come alive - and my character's worst fear is being turned into an evil Wereleno.
Our transformation themed show Night Of Alterations which is similar to Tales From The Crypt, The Twilight Zone, and Tales From The Darkside has several sagas one of which is the Wrath Of The WereLeno Saga, in which all the episodes have a wereleno in them.
Also in one episode of The Adventures Of Chinstar, there is an evil WereLeno who tries to get his hands on a sacred book.
Monday 29 March 2010
Smoke and mirrors
First of all we would like to say sorry for the delay, the power went out 5 hours earlier today and it was a really scary experience.
Today's post is all about the special effects industry - in particular the makeup and special fx departments.
Our favourite makeup and special fx artists are Tom Savini, Rick Baker, and the late Stan Winston.
This is a part of our collection of our issues of Makeup Artist Magazine, it's a fantastic magazine that comes to us monthly and it's all about makeup and special fx.
Stan Winston worked with Michael Jackson on the short film Ghosts which was a really amazing halloween themed video. MJ played 5 characters in the movie.
The makeup in Ghosts was so incredible it was mind blowing. Now you may not know this but the hefty, middle aged white guy in the photo there is actually Michael - and no i'm not joking. That is Michael in makeup as the "Mayor" character - some people could not tell it was him - in fact some people on youtube say the mayor looks like Roger Ebert the film critic. In fact, in a review of "Ghosts" on the site Agony Booth the reviewer refers to the Mayor as "Mayor Ebert" - a nod to the fact that the 1998 Godzilla movie in which the mayor of the city was named Mayor Ebert and looked a lot like the film critic Roger Ebert. According to Ritchie Alonzo (the guy who created the Mayor makeup) in the August 2009 issue of Makeup Artist Magazine - Michael went out as the "Mayor" character.
I have done the exact same thing with some of my disguises several times, such as when I went as John Candy for halloween a couple of years ago - I was very convincing - I looked like the real thing (one person even walked to me and said that they loved me in Uncle Buck and Planes, Trains and Automobiles). That's where my John Candy impersonation came in handy, i've been practicing my impersonation of his voice for years and I can do his laugh as well - i first developed my JC impersonation on the comedy sketch show Comic Calamity. I wore a special John Candy likeness makeup for the occasion (which looked exactly like the real JC) which we also use for werejohncandy makeups - the Chumsley and Cassie makeup appliances are now on display in the makeup and special effects area of our lab.
in Leno (2008) I not only played Tonight Show host Jay Leno (both young Jay and present Jay) but I also played several of his old tonight show sketch characters. I had a special Jay Leno likeness makeup for both the stage and film versions - complete with the famous chin. Again it was so convincing that not many people could tell it was me - they thought it was the real Jay Leno. One of the differences between the stage version and film version is that the stage version has two additional Jay characters Johnny Allegro and Bob Johnson. You may recall a publicity stunt I did where I went out as "Jay" and interviewed people on the street like Jay does in the Jaywalking segment of his show.
The "Leno" makeup appliance can be seen in the makeup and special effects area of our lab. There's also a Bruce Campbell likeness one which is used for the Evil Dead stunt show that is seen in the masters of horror wing of our theme park/museum, and for disney fans there are character likeness makeups we did of Gaston (Beauty And The Beast), Kronk (Emperor's New Groove) and Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story).
Today's post is all about the special effects industry - in particular the makeup and special fx departments.
Our favourite makeup and special fx artists are Tom Savini, Rick Baker, and the late Stan Winston.
This is a part of our collection of our issues of Makeup Artist Magazine, it's a fantastic magazine that comes to us monthly and it's all about makeup and special fx.
You can get a subscription for this fantastic magazine here:
The makeup in Ghosts was so incredible it was mind blowing. Now you may not know this but the hefty, middle aged white guy in the photo there is actually Michael - and no i'm not joking. That is Michael in makeup as the "Mayor" character - some people could not tell it was him - in fact some people on youtube say the mayor looks like Roger Ebert the film critic. In fact, in a review of "Ghosts" on the site Agony Booth the reviewer refers to the Mayor as "Mayor Ebert" - a nod to the fact that the 1998 Godzilla movie in which the mayor of the city was named Mayor Ebert and looked a lot like the film critic Roger Ebert. According to Ritchie Alonzo (the guy who created the Mayor makeup) in the August 2009 issue of Makeup Artist Magazine - Michael went out as the "Mayor" character.
I have done the exact same thing with some of my disguises several times, such as when I went as John Candy for halloween a couple of years ago - I was very convincing - I looked like the real thing (one person even walked to me and said that they loved me in Uncle Buck and Planes, Trains and Automobiles). That's where my John Candy impersonation came in handy, i've been practicing my impersonation of his voice for years and I can do his laugh as well - i first developed my JC impersonation on the comedy sketch show Comic Calamity. I wore a special John Candy likeness makeup for the occasion (which looked exactly like the real JC) which we also use for werejohncandy makeups - the Chumsley and Cassie makeup appliances are now on display in the makeup and special effects area of our lab.
in Leno (2008) I not only played Tonight Show host Jay Leno (both young Jay and present Jay) but I also played several of his old tonight show sketch characters. I had a special Jay Leno likeness makeup for both the stage and film versions - complete with the famous chin. Again it was so convincing that not many people could tell it was me - they thought it was the real Jay Leno. One of the differences between the stage version and film version is that the stage version has two additional Jay characters Johnny Allegro and Bob Johnson. You may recall a publicity stunt I did where I went out as "Jay" and interviewed people on the street like Jay does in the Jaywalking segment of his show.
The "Leno" makeup appliance can be seen in the makeup and special effects area of our lab. There's also a Bruce Campbell likeness one which is used for the Evil Dead stunt show that is seen in the masters of horror wing of our theme park/museum, and for disney fans there are character likeness makeups we did of Gaston (Beauty And The Beast), Kronk (Emperor's New Groove) and Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story).
Saturday 27 March 2010
New pictures
Here are some new photographs me and my brother have taken over the past week.
This first one is of a painting me, my brother and Heather worked on - it is titled Feelings and it is centered around ladybugs and emotions. If you have a sharp eye, you might recognise the one with the sleepy looking on its' face.
This first one is of a painting me, my brother and Heather worked on - it is titled Feelings and it is centered around ladybugs and emotions. If you have a sharp eye, you might recognise the one with the sleepy looking on its' face.
This is the Rotta the Huttlet backpack buddy from the Star Wars: The Clone Wars range of toys by Hasbro.
This one is of a bag of costume accessories and other items. Also in the shot are a homemade Gremlins plushie of an original character my brother and i made up - her name is Matilda but she is nicknamed Killoala and a Jay Leno halloween mask which can be found on sites like brandsonsale.com. We've got a real problem with pesky Conan supporters coming door-to-door to our place and handing out "I'm With Coco" flyers and badges - and if you've got the same problem than a Jay mask will be the perfect thing to scare them off.
And these are some of my dvds, games and cds. Most of the ones you see there are Jim Carrey movies.
Leno song
The whole me getting banned from amiright thing was not really my fault as you already know. Im innocent of all charges. My ban was unfair and unjust. For I am not such a bad person, I am just misuderstood. It was the work of a mysterious person by the name of Annie Are You Okay. Me and my brother had ALWAYS been huge Jay Leno fans, having met the guy several times- almost every day- we're close friends. But Annie's little parody kind of ruined that. Her parody titled Leno- which is a parody of Luka by Suzanne Vega was supposedly about Jay but it kind of creeped us out. It had kind of a horror movie vibe to it. It kind of made us think differently about our close pal Mr Leno. It kind of made us think that he was evil and out to get us. The song gave us nightmares for weeks- and in them Jay was out to get us. We got all worked up because of that song- it kept us up awake at night. But we forgive her for writing that song.
Here's a couple of things we thought were wrong with it:
•The lyrics. The lyrics were a tad on the creepy side and most of the stuff wasn't even remotely true. "My name is Leno, i’m a late night talk show hostI have some crazy fans, Prob’ly have seen some of their posts. They watch too much TV at night. And speculate on my future plight. Think they need a few more meds. Think they need a few more meds.Think they need a few more meds. I think they’re tad obsessive. Frankly they all frighten me I mean, I know I’m impressive, but really man can't you see?". Now the REAL Jay Leno would never say ANYTHING like that about us (because we're his closest pals, we can be frequently seen in the background during the Jaywalking segments, my brother's the one wearing the t shirt with Jack Nicholson doing the Heeeere's Johnnny face on it, i'm the one wearing the one with our company logo on the back). And as for the "I know i'm impressive" line, the real Jay would never say that- he's not THAT vain.
•The portrayal of Jay. The characterisation of Jay in this song is NOTHING like the real Jay at all. Come to think of it, this one is a litte TOO EVIL. It's like she turned him into a vampire. Which ironically inspired my portrayal of Jay's evil twin/darkside Evil Jay in our production of Leno (I even wore a pair of fake fangs for that part).
•It makes me come across as a villain "If only they took some more time. To make random verses rhyme. Listen to Agrimorfee. Has a point, Agrimorfee. Listen to Agrimorfee". Okay, first of all, the real Jay knows nothing about Amiright or the people who run it so he would never say anything like that. Second of all that song makes me come across as a villain which I don't like. What is the author trying to tell the people reading it? Is the author trying to tell them that i am the ultimate evil and must be avoided like the plague? I don't like the sound of that. And yes Agri is an intelligent man, and has a unique moniker which by the way is greek for parody - so if he were a greek god he'd be the god of musical parodies.
•The negative vibe. The song gave off a rather negative vibe about us and Jay. Especially the lyrics. Halfway through the song it goes like this: "I don’t think they’re okayWhen they write about my chin. Pretty sure there is no way. Their musical hits ol’ Broadway. Oh won’t you please leave me alone. Oh please god just throw me a bone. Get these wackos off the site. Get these wackos off the site. Get these wackos off the site." Most of those happen to be things that the REAL Jay Leno would never say or think about us. We know him and have met him several times, we went on his show to promote our production Leno- we even showed a clip from the film version that also came out that same month. Jay was VERY touched by my portrayal of him, he said it was very heartwarming and charming. He gave him praise for the role. I won a Tony for it. Secondly, the real Jay Leno doesn't mind chin-jokes, he's been taking it on the chin for years (no pun intended) and it's the in the title of his autobiography...Leading With My Chin. His lantern jaw of justice is his most famous feature- he even pokes fun of it on the Fairly Odd Parents where he is the voice of a superhero named Crimson Chin. The only time I remember him being peeved off by a chinjoke or something similar was when someone sent in a picture of Flabber from Beetleborgs in a monday headlines segment. As for the "pretty sure there is no way, that their musical hits ol broadway" line- it was already on Broadway by the time that song was written. In fact it was one of the most popular productions we've ever done, it had already sold out in theatres. And the film version that came out a couple of weeks later that month won several awards at the local film festival. When we premiered the film version at the film festival- Jay Leno himself showed up as one of the guests. The author obviously didn't see it- we think she should have given it a chance- because Leno really was and is our most inspirational, uplifting production. And secondly, the real Jay would never ever tell us to leave him alone or that we frighten him or anything like that- we know him, he's a nice guy. He's a great guy. He's one of the most underrated comics of all time. That song doesn't do him justice. It makes him come across as some sort of vampire or something. And also the real Jay doesn't even know about Amiright as I stated before, so there's no way he would ever say THAT.
•The creepiness of it. The song in general was pretty creepy especially the lyrics and how Jay was potrayed. And most of the song is an attack parody directed to me anyway. And yet ol Chucky let this one go through undetected- I'm surprised he hasn't had Red Ant get rid of it yet. The lyrics say stuff like "Dr Music sounds pretty dumb" "I bet he can't do either one" which aren't true- I'm rather intelligent and I was able to pull off the role of Jay AND his tonight show characters. You should have seen the Great Beyondo I Am song number- the special effects were amazing. In the film version it's almost like Beyondo is coming at ya in 4-d. Annie's parody in general was pretty creepy and a little TOO MUCH like something Alice Cooper would sing about. The fact she was able to make almost the entirety of it a Villain Sucks song about me and have it go passed Chucky G's censors undetected is amazing, but it seems to me that she didn't do the research before writing it. Me, Chinstar, and my brother are the leading Leno experts- we know everything there is to know about the guy. And also we're the only ones who answer the questions right on Jaywalking. The song creeped the hell out of me, it gave me nightmares.
•This song doesn't feel like a proper Jay tribute song at all. It doesn't do him justice. If she wanted to do a good Jay tribute song- she could just done a parody of the Gaston song from Beauty And The Beast. That's what we did for one of the songs in the film version.
•Again, the lyrics. We have the original song, but the one we have doesn't have lyrics- it's just sort of an 1980's techno/trance disco track. We heard the original song on the radio once, it sounded more uplifting then the depressing parody Annie wrote. The rather depressing tone to the parody made it more like a horror movie than anything else. That's why our friend Werejoshpeckprince put it under the New Media examples on the Nightmare Fuel page on TVTropes. Because it had heavy nightmare fuel elements with Paranoia Fuel thrown in. Now we're not OBSESSED with Jay in anyway, but we absolutely hate it when something or someone ruins his reputation and makes him look bad- which is why we didn't like Artistic Roll Call by comedian Bill Hicks. The song made Jay look bad. Which is unnacceptable.
Here's a couple of things we thought were wrong with it:
•The lyrics. The lyrics were a tad on the creepy side and most of the stuff wasn't even remotely true. "My name is Leno, i’m a late night talk show hostI have some crazy fans, Prob’ly have seen some of their posts. They watch too much TV at night. And speculate on my future plight. Think they need a few more meds. Think they need a few more meds.Think they need a few more meds. I think they’re tad obsessive. Frankly they all frighten me I mean, I know I’m impressive, but really man can't you see?". Now the REAL Jay Leno would never say ANYTHING like that about us (because we're his closest pals, we can be frequently seen in the background during the Jaywalking segments, my brother's the one wearing the t shirt with Jack Nicholson doing the Heeeere's Johnnny face on it, i'm the one wearing the one with our company logo on the back). And as for the "I know i'm impressive" line, the real Jay would never say that- he's not THAT vain.
•The portrayal of Jay. The characterisation of Jay in this song is NOTHING like the real Jay at all. Come to think of it, this one is a litte TOO EVIL. It's like she turned him into a vampire. Which ironically inspired my portrayal of Jay's evil twin/darkside Evil Jay in our production of Leno (I even wore a pair of fake fangs for that part).
•It makes me come across as a villain "If only they took some more time. To make random verses rhyme. Listen to Agrimorfee. Has a point, Agrimorfee. Listen to Agrimorfee". Okay, first of all, the real Jay knows nothing about Amiright or the people who run it so he would never say anything like that. Second of all that song makes me come across as a villain which I don't like. What is the author trying to tell the people reading it? Is the author trying to tell them that i am the ultimate evil and must be avoided like the plague? I don't like the sound of that. And yes Agri is an intelligent man, and has a unique moniker which by the way is greek for parody - so if he were a greek god he'd be the god of musical parodies.
•The negative vibe. The song gave off a rather negative vibe about us and Jay. Especially the lyrics. Halfway through the song it goes like this: "I don’t think they’re okayWhen they write about my chin. Pretty sure there is no way. Their musical hits ol’ Broadway. Oh won’t you please leave me alone. Oh please god just throw me a bone. Get these wackos off the site. Get these wackos off the site. Get these wackos off the site." Most of those happen to be things that the REAL Jay Leno would never say or think about us. We know him and have met him several times, we went on his show to promote our production Leno- we even showed a clip from the film version that also came out that same month. Jay was VERY touched by my portrayal of him, he said it was very heartwarming and charming. He gave him praise for the role. I won a Tony for it. Secondly, the real Jay Leno doesn't mind chin-jokes, he's been taking it on the chin for years (no pun intended) and it's the in the title of his autobiography...Leading With My Chin. His lantern jaw of justice is his most famous feature- he even pokes fun of it on the Fairly Odd Parents where he is the voice of a superhero named Crimson Chin. The only time I remember him being peeved off by a chinjoke or something similar was when someone sent in a picture of Flabber from Beetleborgs in a monday headlines segment. As for the "pretty sure there is no way, that their musical hits ol broadway" line- it was already on Broadway by the time that song was written. In fact it was one of the most popular productions we've ever done, it had already sold out in theatres. And the film version that came out a couple of weeks later that month won several awards at the local film festival. When we premiered the film version at the film festival- Jay Leno himself showed up as one of the guests. The author obviously didn't see it- we think she should have given it a chance- because Leno really was and is our most inspirational, uplifting production. And secondly, the real Jay would never ever tell us to leave him alone or that we frighten him or anything like that- we know him, he's a nice guy. He's a great guy. He's one of the most underrated comics of all time. That song doesn't do him justice. It makes him come across as some sort of vampire or something. And also the real Jay doesn't even know about Amiright as I stated before, so there's no way he would ever say THAT.
•The creepiness of it. The song in general was pretty creepy especially the lyrics and how Jay was potrayed. And most of the song is an attack parody directed to me anyway. And yet ol Chucky let this one go through undetected- I'm surprised he hasn't had Red Ant get rid of it yet. The lyrics say stuff like "Dr Music sounds pretty dumb" "I bet he can't do either one" which aren't true- I'm rather intelligent and I was able to pull off the role of Jay AND his tonight show characters. You should have seen the Great Beyondo I Am song number- the special effects were amazing. In the film version it's almost like Beyondo is coming at ya in 4-d. Annie's parody in general was pretty creepy and a little TOO MUCH like something Alice Cooper would sing about. The fact she was able to make almost the entirety of it a Villain Sucks song about me and have it go passed Chucky G's censors undetected is amazing, but it seems to me that she didn't do the research before writing it. Me, Chinstar, and my brother are the leading Leno experts- we know everything there is to know about the guy. And also we're the only ones who answer the questions right on Jaywalking. The song creeped the hell out of me, it gave me nightmares.
•This song doesn't feel like a proper Jay tribute song at all. It doesn't do him justice. If she wanted to do a good Jay tribute song- she could just done a parody of the Gaston song from Beauty And The Beast. That's what we did for one of the songs in the film version.
•Again, the lyrics. We have the original song, but the one we have doesn't have lyrics- it's just sort of an 1980's techno/trance disco track. We heard the original song on the radio once, it sounded more uplifting then the depressing parody Annie wrote. The rather depressing tone to the parody made it more like a horror movie than anything else. That's why our friend Werejoshpeckprince put it under the New Media examples on the Nightmare Fuel page on TVTropes. Because it had heavy nightmare fuel elements with Paranoia Fuel thrown in. Now we're not OBSESSED with Jay in anyway, but we absolutely hate it when something or someone ruins his reputation and makes him look bad- which is why we didn't like Artistic Roll Call by comedian Bill Hicks. The song made Jay look bad. Which is unnacceptable.
Friday 26 March 2010
New books
We've just released some new books that are available now
New book releases:
New book releases:
- Chumsley And The Prince
- Millitary Koalas: Introducing Madonna
- The Valentine's Day Gift
- Misadventures In Gremlin-Sitting.
- Outback Defender
Thursday 25 March 2010
Rosco and Albert
Now you may recall that on amiright there was these two guys who gave their critique on a song parody, their names are Roscoe and Albert.
They are good friends of ours and they are kind of like Siskel and Ebert except they don't argue like those two film critics did.
These two guys always review our movies - they seem to enjoy our work a lot. Roscoe once mentioned in his review for the film version of "Leno" that he liked the cameo appearances by various amiright alumni. He also said that he enjoyed every minute of it, and he thought the songs were very well written.
Both of them liked the Millitary Koalas movie, and Albert said that he liked how Andria's character Madonna was different than most heroines in animated movies.
And I agree with Albert there, Madonna is most certainly an interesting character, she is not only beautiful but she is also really tough - she's a bit of an action girl. She's the only one in the marsupial squadron that can beat Sidney in a fight.
They are good friends of ours and they are kind of like Siskel and Ebert except they don't argue like those two film critics did.
These two guys always review our movies - they seem to enjoy our work a lot. Roscoe once mentioned in his review for the film version of "Leno" that he liked the cameo appearances by various amiright alumni. He also said that he enjoyed every minute of it, and he thought the songs were very well written.
Both of them liked the Millitary Koalas movie, and Albert said that he liked how Andria's character Madonna was different than most heroines in animated movies.
And I agree with Albert there, Madonna is most certainly an interesting character, she is not only beautiful but she is also really tough - she's a bit of an action girl. She's the only one in the marsupial squadron that can beat Sidney in a fight.
Tuesday 23 March 2010
Andria
As I am typing this i can't help but wonder what adventures our good friend Andria is up to. I hope that she is alright and that she isn't in any sort of danger.
After all she is our friend and i wouldn't want anything bad to happen to her. No i'm not obssesed with her, I like her yes but i don't have a crush on her. She's already married.
But she always looks out for me and defends me and I'm doing the same for her. I hope she hasn't been kidnapped or anything - because if she was - i'd have immediantley had Rents of Slapstick Anarchy up on my list of suspects (because he's had a grudge against me and Andria ever since he published those "articles" about me on his blog).
But if she ever does get caught in any sort of danger....she'd probably know that there are quite a lot of superheroes in the city including Chinstar as well as a friendly gargoyle clan. And she can trust Chinstar - because he's a superhero after all and is well known for being the ONLY good guy wereleno.
So wherever she is, I hope that she is okay.
After all she is our friend and i wouldn't want anything bad to happen to her. No i'm not obssesed with her, I like her yes but i don't have a crush on her. She's already married.
But she always looks out for me and defends me and I'm doing the same for her. I hope she hasn't been kidnapped or anything - because if she was - i'd have immediantley had Rents of Slapstick Anarchy up on my list of suspects (because he's had a grudge against me and Andria ever since he published those "articles" about me on his blog).
But if she ever does get caught in any sort of danger....she'd probably know that there are quite a lot of superheroes in the city including Chinstar as well as a friendly gargoyle clan. And she can trust Chinstar - because he's a superhero after all and is well known for being the ONLY good guy wereleno.
So wherever she is, I hope that she is okay.
Bruce Campbell Day
Today is Ash Wednesday over at our place, and no it's not the one that comes before Easter - our version is called Bruce Campbell Day. It is a whole day where we celebrate the awesomeness of the great lantern jawed b movie hero Bruce Campbell.
If you do not know who he is then listen up you primitive screwheads because i'm not going to tell you once. Bruce is an incredibly awesome actor who is famous for his role of Ash in all three Evil Dead films, he also appeared in films like Congo and Darkman (originally considered for the lead part, but the part went to Liam Neeson - but he made an appearance at the end as a "Final Shemp"). He is a friend of Sam Raimi and has made cameos in all three Spiderman films and will be appearing in Spiderman 4 although no info about the role he's playing has been confirmed yet (rumour has it he'll be playing Mysterio).
He's also done guest voiceover appearances in animation and appeared on shows like The X-Files (he appeared as a kind hearted demon in one episode), Charmed (as an FBI agent in one episode), Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (as Autolycus the dashing king of thieves) and Xena (also as Autolycus). He also had two short lived tv series Jack Of All Trades and Brisco County Jr. He also played an elderly Elvis Presley in Bubba Ho-Tep.
He is the author of two books If Chins Could Kill (his autobiography) and Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way.
For more information on this amazing actor, click this link:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0132257/
Coincidentally my father (who is an adventurer) looks a LOT like Bruce. Our friend Sam Leno also resembles the character Ash from the Evil Dead films and works at S-Mart like Ash does - he even works in the housewares department, and if you're lucky he might give you the Army Of Darkness tour including where they keep the guns. Sam "Chinstar" Leno is famous for his role as Chinstar the only good guy Wereleno that has been featured in our work (most werelenos are of the evil alignment and are arcane tricksters).
Also on Wednesdays I always involuntarily morph into Bruce himself. It's actually quite nice, even though I have to put up with some deadites flocking outside our house and sometimes the objects in the house come to life and laugh at me - and sometimes my hand becomes possessed but in overall being Bruce is rather nice.
Happy Bruce Campbell Day everyone.
If you do not know who he is then listen up you primitive screwheads because i'm not going to tell you once. Bruce is an incredibly awesome actor who is famous for his role of Ash in all three Evil Dead films, he also appeared in films like Congo and Darkman (originally considered for the lead part, but the part went to Liam Neeson - but he made an appearance at the end as a "Final Shemp"). He is a friend of Sam Raimi and has made cameos in all three Spiderman films and will be appearing in Spiderman 4 although no info about the role he's playing has been confirmed yet (rumour has it he'll be playing Mysterio).
He's also done guest voiceover appearances in animation and appeared on shows like The X-Files (he appeared as a kind hearted demon in one episode), Charmed (as an FBI agent in one episode), Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (as Autolycus the dashing king of thieves) and Xena (also as Autolycus). He also had two short lived tv series Jack Of All Trades and Brisco County Jr. He also played an elderly Elvis Presley in Bubba Ho-Tep.
He is the author of two books If Chins Could Kill (his autobiography) and Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way.
For more information on this amazing actor, click this link:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0132257/
Coincidentally my father (who is an adventurer) looks a LOT like Bruce. Our friend Sam Leno also resembles the character Ash from the Evil Dead films and works at S-Mart like Ash does - he even works in the housewares department, and if you're lucky he might give you the Army Of Darkness tour including where they keep the guns. Sam "Chinstar" Leno is famous for his role as Chinstar the only good guy Wereleno that has been featured in our work (most werelenos are of the evil alignment and are arcane tricksters).
Also on Wednesdays I always involuntarily morph into Bruce himself. It's actually quite nice, even though I have to put up with some deadites flocking outside our house and sometimes the objects in the house come to life and laugh at me - and sometimes my hand becomes possessed but in overall being Bruce is rather nice.
Happy Bruce Campbell Day everyone.
Monday 22 March 2010
Dream bedroom
Things that my ultimate dream bedroom would have.
1.Top secret science lab.
2. A closet which has various disguises including realistic animal costumes and celebrity likeness disguises.
3. A machine which allows you to choose your own dreams, deciphers them, records them and can make them into a movie or tv show.
4. A library filled with the greatest books ever written.
5. Shelves with various scientific equipment on them.
6. Gargoyles - not just for decoration, but to protect the room from intruders. They would be replicas of the Manhattan Clan and would come to life at night.
7. Megaconsole the ultimate video game system - plays all game formats including cd roms and nintendo cartridges.
8. Virtual reality goggles, gloves and helmet that really work - transports you into your favourite tv show or movie.
9. Spooky digital alarm clock: An alarm clock shaped like a skull and instead of the usual beeping sound you hear Vincent Price's evil laugh from Thriller.
10. Devilishly Sexy digital alarm clock: A hellfire theme one that has the voice of Tim Curry.
12. Evil Dead digital alarm clock: An evil dead alarm clock which has an action figure of Bruce Campbell as Ash. Instead of the beeping you hear Ash say lines from the Evil Dead films.
13. Gene splicer machine like the one used in The Fly.
14. A mini zoo filled with different kinds of animals even extinct and mythical ones.
15. Wide screen tv with over a thousand channels.
16. Movie theatre that plays any and all movies except High School Musical, Twilight, Titanic, and any Tom Hanks movie where Tom is playing a dramatic role (e.g Forest Gump, Philadelphia).
17. Device that brings drawings and toys to life.
18. Beanie baby army.
19. Morphing paintings like the ones in Disneyland's haunted mansion but even better - one in the foyer would feature me turning into a werejc, the ones on the bedroom wall would have me morphing into Ash from the Evil Dead films, Freddy Krueger or Jason Voorhees.
20. Lever which activates entrance to top secret lair.
21. Lever which opens up entrance to sacred Bruce Campbell shrine.
22. Tunnel which leads to garden filled with exotic plants including Audrey II plant from Little Shop Of Horrors.
23. Complete Comic books on tape collection - all narrated by Bruce Campbell.
24. Realistic medieval village for Dungeons and Dragons and similar role playing games.
25. Realistic futuristic spaceship interior for Star Wars and similar rpg.
1.Top secret science lab.
2. A closet which has various disguises including realistic animal costumes and celebrity likeness disguises.
3. A machine which allows you to choose your own dreams, deciphers them, records them and can make them into a movie or tv show.
4. A library filled with the greatest books ever written.
5. Shelves with various scientific equipment on them.
6. Gargoyles - not just for decoration, but to protect the room from intruders. They would be replicas of the Manhattan Clan and would come to life at night.
7. Megaconsole the ultimate video game system - plays all game formats including cd roms and nintendo cartridges.
8. Virtual reality goggles, gloves and helmet that really work - transports you into your favourite tv show or movie.
9. Spooky digital alarm clock: An alarm clock shaped like a skull and instead of the usual beeping sound you hear Vincent Price's evil laugh from Thriller.
10. Devilishly Sexy digital alarm clock: A hellfire theme one that has the voice of Tim Curry.
12. Evil Dead digital alarm clock: An evil dead alarm clock which has an action figure of Bruce Campbell as Ash. Instead of the beeping you hear Ash say lines from the Evil Dead films.
13. Gene splicer machine like the one used in The Fly.
14. A mini zoo filled with different kinds of animals even extinct and mythical ones.
15. Wide screen tv with over a thousand channels.
16. Movie theatre that plays any and all movies except High School Musical, Twilight, Titanic, and any Tom Hanks movie where Tom is playing a dramatic role (e.g Forest Gump, Philadelphia).
17. Device that brings drawings and toys to life.
18. Beanie baby army.
19. Morphing paintings like the ones in Disneyland's haunted mansion but even better - one in the foyer would feature me turning into a werejc, the ones on the bedroom wall would have me morphing into Ash from the Evil Dead films, Freddy Krueger or Jason Voorhees.
20. Lever which activates entrance to top secret lair.
21. Lever which opens up entrance to sacred Bruce Campbell shrine.
22. Tunnel which leads to garden filled with exotic plants including Audrey II plant from Little Shop Of Horrors.
23. Complete Comic books on tape collection - all narrated by Bruce Campbell.
24. Realistic medieval village for Dungeons and Dragons and similar role playing games.
25. Realistic futuristic spaceship interior for Star Wars and similar rpg.
Sunday 21 March 2010
Going out
Next monday we've got some guys coming and they're going to take the power out and then recharge it all again.
So we won't be able to acess the computer on that day or any other electrical appliances because the power will be out - so instead we're going to have go to the shopping centre and shop instead.
Like there's gonna be anything new anyway - last time i checked everything was still the same.
Most shops these days have gotten extremely lazy with the service and haven't done anything in weeks so I doubt that there's going to be anything good.
But don't be sad we'll be back the day after.
So we won't be able to acess the computer on that day or any other electrical appliances because the power will be out - so instead we're going to have go to the shopping centre and shop instead.
Like there's gonna be anything new anyway - last time i checked everything was still the same.
Most shops these days have gotten extremely lazy with the service and haven't done anything in weeks so I doubt that there's going to be anything good.
But don't be sad we'll be back the day after.
Saturday 20 March 2010
Money
Alright here's the deal I need money for commisions and stuff, so here's what i'm gonna do.
I'm gonna do some comissioning of my own.
Story and poetry comisions - i'll do a story or poem of your choice it can be about anything in the world. For around 30$.
Character sketches and backgrounds - i'll do original characters or backgrounds for around 25$.
And for 10-15$ i will do a photomanip of you or someone else as an animal or monster.
I'm gonna do some comissioning of my own.
Story and poetry comisions - i'll do a story or poem of your choice it can be about anything in the world. For around 30$.
Character sketches and backgrounds - i'll do original characters or backgrounds for around 25$.
And for 10-15$ i will do a photomanip of you or someone else as an animal or monster.
Thursday 18 March 2010
Meat and Bruce
If I was a songwriter like Jim Steinman one of the songs i would write would be about Bruce Campbell, and I would get Meatloaf to sing it.
Because Meatloaf can sing about absolutely anything and make it epic. So a song about Bruce performed by him would be the ultimate in epic win.
I would write in the exact same style as Jim Steinman does when writing Meatloaf songs sometimes - lots of fire and brimstone.
The music video itself would have Meatloaf and Bruce both appearing in it, it would be set in the city at night - and it would start off with an opening intro in which a bunch of deadites, demons and shadow creatures run amuck in the city, then we hear the sound of a motorcycle engine, a motorcycle approaches and we see Meatloaf riding it with Bruce sitting in the sidecar.
Both of them leap off the motorcycle and fight of all the deadites, demons and shadow creatures.
A giant bat creature rises up from the ground and does several claw swipes. The creature's claw swipe knocks Bruce and Meat in the firey pits of hell.
Bruce is unconcious but then wakes up. Bruce looks around at his surroundings to see he is in hell, but Meatloaf says..."Ah it's no biggie. Between you and me, this is about the 15,000th time that I've ended up in here."
Bruce then doubles over in pain as two big black bat-like wings burst out of his back. His ears become pointy, he develops fangs and glowing red eyes as well as claws..
Then he and Meatloaf hop on the motorcycle again and burst out of the gates of Hell - they encounter the bat creature once again - Bruce gets out his boomstick and blasts the bat creature - while Meatloaf circles around it on his motorcycle. The sunlight hits and the bat creature explodes.
And Meatloaf and BC break out of the darkness and fly away like a bat out of Hell.
At the end the two part ways and shake hands as they say goodbye, and Bruce turns back to normal.
Because Meatloaf can sing about absolutely anything and make it epic. So a song about Bruce performed by him would be the ultimate in epic win.
I would write in the exact same style as Jim Steinman does when writing Meatloaf songs sometimes - lots of fire and brimstone.
The music video itself would have Meatloaf and Bruce both appearing in it, it would be set in the city at night - and it would start off with an opening intro in which a bunch of deadites, demons and shadow creatures run amuck in the city, then we hear the sound of a motorcycle engine, a motorcycle approaches and we see Meatloaf riding it with Bruce sitting in the sidecar.
Both of them leap off the motorcycle and fight of all the deadites, demons and shadow creatures.
A giant bat creature rises up from the ground and does several claw swipes. The creature's claw swipe knocks Bruce and Meat in the firey pits of hell.
Bruce is unconcious but then wakes up. Bruce looks around at his surroundings to see he is in hell, but Meatloaf says..."Ah it's no biggie. Between you and me, this is about the 15,000th time that I've ended up in here."
Bruce then doubles over in pain as two big black bat-like wings burst out of his back. His ears become pointy, he develops fangs and glowing red eyes as well as claws..
Then he and Meatloaf hop on the motorcycle again and burst out of the gates of Hell - they encounter the bat creature once again - Bruce gets out his boomstick and blasts the bat creature - while Meatloaf circles around it on his motorcycle. The sunlight hits and the bat creature explodes.
And Meatloaf and BC break out of the darkness and fly away like a bat out of Hell.
At the end the two part ways and shake hands as they say goodbye, and Bruce turns back to normal.
Wednesday 17 March 2010
Weregrinch Bruce
I have finally finished my story Bruce VS The Weregrinch.
I had a lot of fun working on it, and in case the rest of you haven't read them yet I heavily suggest you do.
In part 1 our hero Bruce Campbell gets attacked and bitten by a grinch-like creature and slowly begins changing into a weregrinch.
In part 2 our hero's friends think up a plan to find a way to turn Bruce back to normal. Meanwhile Bruce slowly becomes more grinch-like and begins to get used to it.
In part 3 we find out that Jim Carrey is the weregrinch that bit Bruce, it is revealed that he is the original weregrinch. And he has a sinister plan instore for our hero.
And finally in part 4 Jim reveals his evil plan - he wants Bruce to be evil just like him. Bruce takes on Jim - if he wins then Jim must promise not to ever attempt to turn him evil ever again, if Jim wins than Bruce says that he'll accept his fate and join the side of evil.
Bruce gets turned back to his normal self at the end of part 4. So don't worry he won't turn full weregrinch.
I was kind of skeptical about how to do the ending though, the original ending in mind was that i would have Bruce's transformation progress further until he's almost a full weregrinch (but retaining his normal features). I might put that up as the alternate ending.
You can view all 4 parts of the story on DA, also I've posted all 4 parts of it on my blog.
I gotta admit though, Bruce makes a great weregrinch.
I had a lot of fun working on it, and in case the rest of you haven't read them yet I heavily suggest you do.
In part 1 our hero Bruce Campbell gets attacked and bitten by a grinch-like creature and slowly begins changing into a weregrinch.
In part 2 our hero's friends think up a plan to find a way to turn Bruce back to normal. Meanwhile Bruce slowly becomes more grinch-like and begins to get used to it.
In part 3 we find out that Jim Carrey is the weregrinch that bit Bruce, it is revealed that he is the original weregrinch. And he has a sinister plan instore for our hero.
And finally in part 4 Jim reveals his evil plan - he wants Bruce to be evil just like him. Bruce takes on Jim - if he wins then Jim must promise not to ever attempt to turn him evil ever again, if Jim wins than Bruce says that he'll accept his fate and join the side of evil.
Bruce gets turned back to his normal self at the end of part 4. So don't worry he won't turn full weregrinch.
I was kind of skeptical about how to do the ending though, the original ending in mind was that i would have Bruce's transformation progress further until he's almost a full weregrinch (but retaining his normal features). I might put that up as the alternate ending.
You can view all 4 parts of the story on DA, also I've posted all 4 parts of it on my blog.
I gotta admit though, Bruce makes a great weregrinch.
Fistfull of Boomstick
"Alright you primitive screwheads listen up. You see this? This...is my BOOMSTICK!"
This line is just one of the many memorable lines in the third Evil Dead film Army Of Darkness.
Uttered by the incredibly awesome Ash (played by Bruce Campbell) , if you don't know who he is than damm you to hell.
For those who are new here, I am Nathan "Dr Music" Forester, scientist, performer, writer, and inventor extraordinare. My other form is a Canadian Forest Werejohncandy.
This little ol blog of mine is full of interesting stories, humourous jokes and other fun stuff to keep you amused all day long and all through the night. Unlike my new rival Rents of Slapstick Anarchy whose blog consists of nothing but lies and facist bullshit, my blog is actually entertaining - and there are quite a lot of interesting characters hanging on this here blog - maybe you'll get to meet some of them.
If you want to know more you can take a tour of the lab - but don't touch anything.
Along with me at the moment are my brother and our mascot Chumsley the werejc and his girlfriend Cassie (the two of them are a lovely couple). Usually on this blog we get comments from our good friend Andria Killgor who unfortunately seems to be absent this time.
There's also one other thing you should know about me before we start, every Wednesday I transform into Bruce Campbell. Part of our Ash Wednesday tradition.
Our friend Sam "Chinstar" Leno got a job over at S-Mart, he works in the housewares department just like Ash from the Evil Dead films. He even looks kind of like Ash. If you ask him, he might give you the Army Of Darkness tour including where they keep the guns.
Happy st patrick's day everyone.
Tuesday 16 March 2010
Meet The Characters
We present to our new action packed series The Awesome Adventures of Bruce Campbell. It's about the star of the Evil Dead films as he and his friends go battle all sorts of supernatural forces.
The characters:
Bruce
The title character and the hero, star of the cult classics Evil Dead, Evil Dead II and Army Of Darkness as well as Bubba Ho-Tep, My Name Is Bruce and various other film and tv roles including the dashing Autolycus in both Xena and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. He fights all sorts of supernatural evil forces with his friends. Sometimes gets turned into a monster of some kind himself depending on the episode.
Adam
One of Bruce's best pals, Adam is a comic book affictionado who likes to invent things - and also repairs Bruce's chainsaw and boomstick.
Jake
Jake is Bruce's closest friend, Jake is a computer expert and is also very intelligent and can speak multiple different languages. He is the one who usually finds a way to turn his friend back to normal after he slowly turns into a monster.
Paulie
A special effects technician who does all the blood and gore for Bruce's movies, Paulie is a nervous wreck at times and is especially imtimidated by Bruce (that is usually if Bruce is turning into a monster)
Todd
Todd is a former member of a secret evil spy organisation, he specialises in robotics including a replacement arm in case Bruce loses one of his real arms.
Cara
Bruce's love interest, she's an artist and writer. She is beautiful and has long red hair.
Mills
Bruce's manager. Appears in quite a few episodes. Usually becomes very shocked whenever Bruce gets turned into a monster.
Robert
Robert is an expert on weapons and also helped design Bruce's trademark chainsaw hand and shotgun. Robert also likes explosions a lot.
Jeff
The kid from the movie My Name Is Bruce, Jeff and his mother often accompany Bruce and his friends on their adventures. Jeff is an uberfan of Bruce.
The characters:
Bruce
The title character and the hero, star of the cult classics Evil Dead, Evil Dead II and Army Of Darkness as well as Bubba Ho-Tep, My Name Is Bruce and various other film and tv roles including the dashing Autolycus in both Xena and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. He fights all sorts of supernatural evil forces with his friends. Sometimes gets turned into a monster of some kind himself depending on the episode.
Adam
One of Bruce's best pals, Adam is a comic book affictionado who likes to invent things - and also repairs Bruce's chainsaw and boomstick.
Jake
Jake is Bruce's closest friend, Jake is a computer expert and is also very intelligent and can speak multiple different languages. He is the one who usually finds a way to turn his friend back to normal after he slowly turns into a monster.
Paulie
A special effects technician who does all the blood and gore for Bruce's movies, Paulie is a nervous wreck at times and is especially imtimidated by Bruce (that is usually if Bruce is turning into a monster)
Todd
Todd is a former member of a secret evil spy organisation, he specialises in robotics including a replacement arm in case Bruce loses one of his real arms.
Cara
Bruce's love interest, she's an artist and writer. She is beautiful and has long red hair.
Mills
Bruce's manager. Appears in quite a few episodes. Usually becomes very shocked whenever Bruce gets turned into a monster.
Robert
Robert is an expert on weapons and also helped design Bruce's trademark chainsaw hand and shotgun. Robert also likes explosions a lot.
Jeff
The kid from the movie My Name Is Bruce, Jeff and his mother often accompany Bruce and his friends on their adventures. Jeff is an uberfan of Bruce.
Monday 15 March 2010
Bruce VS The weregrinch part 4
Here is the final part of the 4 part story Bruce VS The Weregrinch. We hope you enjoy it.
-------------
Bruce and his friends watched as Jim Carrey leaped off the chair with superhuman agility.
"Alright, Carrey. Why did you do this? Why did you bite me and give me the weregrinch curse?" Bruce asked.
"Well it's because I wanted you to be evil just like me." Jim replied.
"I've been down that road once. Wasn't pretty." Bruce responded.
"Are you sure? Because there's a lot of great perks about being an evil weregrinch like me. I can't tell you all the perks, but I guarantee that when you've been fully transformed into a weregrinch like me...you'll find that it can be a lot of fun being bad." Jim cooed.
"Sounds tempting, but I'd have to pass. Sorry Jimmy." Bruce responded.
"But being evil is so much more fun that being good." Jim told him. "Won't you join me and be evil?"
"No. I won't." Bruce replied.
"Come on, Bruce. Join me. You know you want to. Being a weregrinch is a lot of fun and I think you'll love being evil." Jim cooed.
"No way. I won't. I kinda admit that being a weregrinch is fun, but i'd rather be my normal ass kicking self than join you." Bruce responded.
"Normal? But Brucey! Becoming a weregrinch is the best thing to ever happen to you." Jim exclaimed. "Why, it's splendid, it's fantastical, it's wonderful to be a weregrinch just like me. It's craaazy."
"Hey, no musical numbers." Bruce responded.
"Sorry. I've got a part in the upcoming movie Damm Yankees, and I'm just practicing my singing. And I gurantee that you'd love being evil." Jim said.
"There's no way I would work with you. I've worked you once and only once, and that was in the Majestic. And there's no way in hell i'd want to work with you." Bruce shouted.
"So you won't join me and be evil then?" Jim asked.
"Hell no!" Bruce replied.
"Fair enough." Jim said. "But won't you at least consider it? After all being evil is much more fun than being good."
"No it isn't. Trust me. I got turned into a deadite once, it was the worst thing ever." Bruce replied. "Sorry but the whole evil routine, not my thing."
"Come on Brucey, don't be so negative. It'll be fun being evil. Plus I gurantee no pesky fans will ever want to bother you ever again. Plus, i've heard that evil is considered to be sexy." Jim cooed.
"Even if that is true, there is no way in hell i'd ever want to be evil. I'm the hero here, I fight the forces of darkness." Bruce responded. "Forget it Jim, there's no way i'm turning evil."
"Aaaaw. Come on. You know you want to." Jim cooed.
"Sorry...but evil never wins. And do you know why? Because I always kick it's ass." Bruce stated.
"Good guys hardly use their powers for anything fun though. If you join me Bruce and become evil, you can use your powers to cause all sorts of havoc." Jim responded.
"Superpowers are cool and all but I don't actually need them to be the hero everyone knows and loves. I'm pretty awesome all by myself." Bruce stated.
"But you'll be even more awesome as a fully transformed evil weregrinch like me. Trust me, you'll love it." Jim responded.
"Like I said....I don't want to be evil." Bruce retorted.
"Aaaaaw. You're no fun! You're just a goody two shoes." Jim teased.
"What did you call me?" Bruce snarled.
"A goody two shoes. Because that's what you are. You're a goody little two shoes." Jim teased.
"Watch your mouth!" Bruce warned him.
"Oooh. I'm so scared, what are you gonna do about it Mr Goody Two Shoes?" Jim teased.
"You're really starting to piss me off." Bruce snarled.
"Mr Goody Two Shoes, Mr Goody Two Shoes, Mr Goody Two Shoes!" Jim sang as he mocked Bruce.
"Oh okay...you asked for it.." Bruce snarled. "I challenge you to a fight in the town square."
"Oooh a challenge. Sounds like fun!" Jim exclaimed. "But I warn you, i'm a master of trickery. You might never know what i'm gonna do."
The two of them stood in the town square ready to fight..
"Alright. Here's how it's gonna go. If I win, then you have to promise not to ever try and turn me evil ever again." Bruce said.
"Okay. But what if I win?" Jim asked.
"Ah...if you win, then i'll accept my fate and join you on the dark side and be evil like you." Bruce replied.
"What!? Bruce, are you out of your mind?" Paulie spluttured.
"Listen Paulie, desperate times call for desperate measures." Bruce responded.
"But Bruce. I thought you wanted to be turned back into yourself." Paulie added.
"I do. But the only way to do that is if I defeat ol Rubberface here in a fight." He told him.
"I understand, but Bruce. You're dealing with the original weregrinch here, he's probably way more powerful than you." Paulie explained.
"Earth to Paulie, i'm Bruce f***ing Campbell, I took on the army of darkness and won. I think I can handle Jim Carrey." Bruce quipped. "I mean what's the worst thing he could do...talk out of his ass?"
"Hey I heard that! The butt talking thing is pure gold. It is one of my best tricks. I did it in Ace Ventura 1 and that movie made me the star I am now, there was a sequel of the movie and also an animated series spinoff. Also note that Ace Ventura is the only exception as usually as I never do sequels. They usually just make lame sequel movies that don't have me in them. But at least i'm still more sucessful than you, Brucey." Jim retorted. "After all i'm an a list comedian, and you're just a B movie actor who gets stuck doing low budget horror films."
"Oh please. I'm the one with the real talent here. And by the way, you know when you did that claw thing in Liar Liar? Well you may claim that your dad taught you that - but you stole that from one of MY movies - mainly the scene in Evil Dead II when my character's hand becomes possessed." Bruce replied.
"So what if I did? That bit is classic!" Jim retorted.
"The point is...you're going down." Bruce responded, in his most imtimidating manner.
The two of them fought in the town square, Jim was darting around with amazing super speed but Bruce was keeping up with him..
"Nice moves Brucey. But i'm still better." Jim exclaimed.
"Dream on, rubberface." Bruce quipped.
"I see that you are full of rage. You're going to make a most excellent Full Weregrinch. " Jim cooed.
"I'm full of rage because you're the one who bit me." He responded. "And i'm gonna teach you a lesson."
"I don't think so. You see the clouds up there? They're going to part, and the moon will appear from behind them. And it will transform you into a full weregrinch. And there's nothing you'll be able to do it...Hahahaha! Was that over the top? I can never tell!" Jim exclaimed.
The moon then came out from behind the clouds..
Jim started to transform into a weregrinch, his eyes glow an eerie yellowish colour as a creepy cheshire cat grin formed on his face, green fur developing on his hands as his fingernails grew into long black claws, the fur spread to the rest of his skinny flexible body as he slowly became more grinch-like, the fur then sprouted on his face as his features started becoming more grinch-like starting with his eyebrows becoming bushy and his nose turning black and moving upward, ears becoming pointed. his hair growing long and wild as his teeth became sharp white fangs.
"Nice. But I can do better." Bruce said.
Bruce then started transforming too, his eyes glowing an eerie yellowish colour, green fur started to grow all over him, fingernails and toenails growing into long black claws, ears becoming pointy, hair growing wild, eyebrows becoming bushy, nose becoming black and moving upward.. and his features becoming almost semi- grinch-like.
"Lookin good Brucey. Say if the whole hero thing doesn't work out, you can always join the darkside and be evil like me." Jim exclaimed.
"Me? Join the dark side? Forget it. I'm not turning evil for anyone - not even you." Bruce retorted.
Bruce and Jim now both in weregrinch form battled it out in the town square, Jim was quick but Bruce was even quicker as he dodged all of Jim's attempts at attacking him.
"You call that your best shot, Jim?" He exclaimed. "I've seen better!"
"Oh really? Can you do this?" Jim teased, as he leaped with amazing cat-like agility.
"Yes I can do it. And I can do it better!" He replied.
Bruce leaped in the air with amazing superhuman agility and cornered Jim...then, he picked him up and tossed him around in the air...
"Oooh impressive. Your grinch-like abilities are coming along well." Jim cooed. "You know, if you wanted to you could always become evil like me."
"I don't want to be evil. But thanks for the offer anyway!" He quipped.
"Oh okay. Suit yourself." Jim responded.
Bruce then grabbed Jim by the neck, then did a flying karate kick that sent him flying onto the ground..
"Hey Bruce, catch!" Todd shouted as he tossed a chainsaw in Bruce's direction.
"Thanks! I've been looking all over for this!" Bruce exclaimed as he caught the chainsaw and put it in his hand. "Alright you green hairy freak, it's showtime!"
Bruce was winning the fight against Jim now, and it wasn't just because of his newfound super powers, it was because he now had his chainsawhand with him.
And it looked like Jim Carrey was almost out of energy..
"Oh Bruce, before you finish Jim there's something I want you to have!" Jeff yelled.
Jeff tossed a shotgun in Bruce's direction and Bruce caught it...
"Yes, finally! Alright Carrey, you see this....this is my BOOMSTICK! And you're going to see what this bad boy can do!" Bruce exclaimed.
Bruce held his boomstick and aimed it at Jim...
"You're not going to shoot me are you?" Jim asked, quivering.
"No. But i'm gonna do this!" Bruce replied.
Bruce then took aim and fired one shot at a gargoyle statue..
"Ha ha, missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me!" Jim sang.
"I wasn't aiming for ya!" Bruce quipped.
The gargoyle statue fell on Jim Carrey and it crushed him, making him all flat like in a cartoon.
"Groovy." Bruce said.
"Oh alright, you win." Jim exclaimed.
Bruce had defeated Jim...
And it was just in time too - the night was over and the sun was rising..
A big flash of light appeared as Bruce slowly morphed back into his old human self..
"Yes. I'm back to being my old ass kicking self again! The curse has been lifted." Bruce exclaimed in a most heroic manner.
Bruce's friends walked up to congradulate him on his victory..
"Brucey! You're back to normal again." Paulie cheered.
"Yeah! You're not green and hairy anymore." Jake responded. "You're back to being you."
"Yep. And there's nothing else i'd rather be." Bruce told them.
"I'm so glad you're back to normal again, although I did like your weregrinch form." Adam stated. "How does it feel to be you again?"
"Groovy. Just groovy!" Bruce replied, stroking his hair.
"Yep that's our Bruce!" Jake exclaimed. "He's back to normal."
"Another sucessful victory over the forces of evil. I say this calls for a celebration." Bruce announced.
-------
And so Bruce and his friends went back to the trailer park and celebrated. Bruce had been turned back to normal and Jim Carrey had been defeated.
Bruce had been turned back to normal in the end and his brief stint as a weregrinch was gone.
All was right in the fair town and once again the forces of evil had been defeated by the mighty Bruce.
The end
-----
I hope you enjoyed all 4 parts of the story.
-------------
Bruce and his friends watched as Jim Carrey leaped off the chair with superhuman agility.
"Alright, Carrey. Why did you do this? Why did you bite me and give me the weregrinch curse?" Bruce asked.
"Well it's because I wanted you to be evil just like me." Jim replied.
"I've been down that road once. Wasn't pretty." Bruce responded.
"Are you sure? Because there's a lot of great perks about being an evil weregrinch like me. I can't tell you all the perks, but I guarantee that when you've been fully transformed into a weregrinch like me...you'll find that it can be a lot of fun being bad." Jim cooed.
"Sounds tempting, but I'd have to pass. Sorry Jimmy." Bruce responded.
"But being evil is so much more fun that being good." Jim told him. "Won't you join me and be evil?"
"No. I won't." Bruce replied.
"Come on, Bruce. Join me. You know you want to. Being a weregrinch is a lot of fun and I think you'll love being evil." Jim cooed.
"No way. I won't. I kinda admit that being a weregrinch is fun, but i'd rather be my normal ass kicking self than join you." Bruce responded.
"Normal? But Brucey! Becoming a weregrinch is the best thing to ever happen to you." Jim exclaimed. "Why, it's splendid, it's fantastical, it's wonderful to be a weregrinch just like me. It's craaazy."
"Hey, no musical numbers." Bruce responded.
"Sorry. I've got a part in the upcoming movie Damm Yankees, and I'm just practicing my singing. And I gurantee that you'd love being evil." Jim said.
"There's no way I would work with you. I've worked you once and only once, and that was in the Majestic. And there's no way in hell i'd want to work with you." Bruce shouted.
"So you won't join me and be evil then?" Jim asked.
"Hell no!" Bruce replied.
"Fair enough." Jim said. "But won't you at least consider it? After all being evil is much more fun than being good."
"No it isn't. Trust me. I got turned into a deadite once, it was the worst thing ever." Bruce replied. "Sorry but the whole evil routine, not my thing."
"Come on Brucey, don't be so negative. It'll be fun being evil. Plus I gurantee no pesky fans will ever want to bother you ever again. Plus, i've heard that evil is considered to be sexy." Jim cooed.
"Even if that is true, there is no way in hell i'd ever want to be evil. I'm the hero here, I fight the forces of darkness." Bruce responded. "Forget it Jim, there's no way i'm turning evil."
"Aaaaw. Come on. You know you want to." Jim cooed.
"Sorry...but evil never wins. And do you know why? Because I always kick it's ass." Bruce stated.
"Good guys hardly use their powers for anything fun though. If you join me Bruce and become evil, you can use your powers to cause all sorts of havoc." Jim responded.
"Superpowers are cool and all but I don't actually need them to be the hero everyone knows and loves. I'm pretty awesome all by myself." Bruce stated.
"But you'll be even more awesome as a fully transformed evil weregrinch like me. Trust me, you'll love it." Jim responded.
"Like I said....I don't want to be evil." Bruce retorted.
"Aaaaaw. You're no fun! You're just a goody two shoes." Jim teased.
"What did you call me?" Bruce snarled.
"A goody two shoes. Because that's what you are. You're a goody little two shoes." Jim teased.
"Watch your mouth!" Bruce warned him.
"Oooh. I'm so scared, what are you gonna do about it Mr Goody Two Shoes?" Jim teased.
"You're really starting to piss me off." Bruce snarled.
"Mr Goody Two Shoes, Mr Goody Two Shoes, Mr Goody Two Shoes!" Jim sang as he mocked Bruce.
"Oh okay...you asked for it.." Bruce snarled. "I challenge you to a fight in the town square."
"Oooh a challenge. Sounds like fun!" Jim exclaimed. "But I warn you, i'm a master of trickery. You might never know what i'm gonna do."
The two of them stood in the town square ready to fight..
"Alright. Here's how it's gonna go. If I win, then you have to promise not to ever try and turn me evil ever again." Bruce said.
"Okay. But what if I win?" Jim asked.
"Ah...if you win, then i'll accept my fate and join you on the dark side and be evil like you." Bruce replied.
"What!? Bruce, are you out of your mind?" Paulie spluttured.
"Listen Paulie, desperate times call for desperate measures." Bruce responded.
"But Bruce. I thought you wanted to be turned back into yourself." Paulie added.
"I do. But the only way to do that is if I defeat ol Rubberface here in a fight." He told him.
"I understand, but Bruce. You're dealing with the original weregrinch here, he's probably way more powerful than you." Paulie explained.
"Earth to Paulie, i'm Bruce f***ing Campbell, I took on the army of darkness and won. I think I can handle Jim Carrey." Bruce quipped. "I mean what's the worst thing he could do...talk out of his ass?"
"Hey I heard that! The butt talking thing is pure gold. It is one of my best tricks. I did it in Ace Ventura 1 and that movie made me the star I am now, there was a sequel of the movie and also an animated series spinoff. Also note that Ace Ventura is the only exception as usually as I never do sequels. They usually just make lame sequel movies that don't have me in them. But at least i'm still more sucessful than you, Brucey." Jim retorted. "After all i'm an a list comedian, and you're just a B movie actor who gets stuck doing low budget horror films."
"Oh please. I'm the one with the real talent here. And by the way, you know when you did that claw thing in Liar Liar? Well you may claim that your dad taught you that - but you stole that from one of MY movies - mainly the scene in Evil Dead II when my character's hand becomes possessed." Bruce replied.
"So what if I did? That bit is classic!" Jim retorted.
"The point is...you're going down." Bruce responded, in his most imtimidating manner.
The two of them fought in the town square, Jim was darting around with amazing super speed but Bruce was keeping up with him..
"Nice moves Brucey. But i'm still better." Jim exclaimed.
"Dream on, rubberface." Bruce quipped.
"I see that you are full of rage. You're going to make a most excellent Full Weregrinch. " Jim cooed.
"I'm full of rage because you're the one who bit me." He responded. "And i'm gonna teach you a lesson."
"I don't think so. You see the clouds up there? They're going to part, and the moon will appear from behind them. And it will transform you into a full weregrinch. And there's nothing you'll be able to do it...Hahahaha! Was that over the top? I can never tell!" Jim exclaimed.
The moon then came out from behind the clouds..
Jim started to transform into a weregrinch, his eyes glow an eerie yellowish colour as a creepy cheshire cat grin formed on his face, green fur developing on his hands as his fingernails grew into long black claws, the fur spread to the rest of his skinny flexible body as he slowly became more grinch-like, the fur then sprouted on his face as his features started becoming more grinch-like starting with his eyebrows becoming bushy and his nose turning black and moving upward, ears becoming pointed. his hair growing long and wild as his teeth became sharp white fangs.
"Nice. But I can do better." Bruce said.
Bruce then started transforming too, his eyes glowing an eerie yellowish colour, green fur started to grow all over him, fingernails and toenails growing into long black claws, ears becoming pointy, hair growing wild, eyebrows becoming bushy, nose becoming black and moving upward.. and his features becoming almost semi- grinch-like.
"Lookin good Brucey. Say if the whole hero thing doesn't work out, you can always join the darkside and be evil like me." Jim exclaimed.
"Me? Join the dark side? Forget it. I'm not turning evil for anyone - not even you." Bruce retorted.
Bruce and Jim now both in weregrinch form battled it out in the town square, Jim was quick but Bruce was even quicker as he dodged all of Jim's attempts at attacking him.
"You call that your best shot, Jim?" He exclaimed. "I've seen better!"
"Oh really? Can you do this?" Jim teased, as he leaped with amazing cat-like agility.
"Yes I can do it. And I can do it better!" He replied.
Bruce leaped in the air with amazing superhuman agility and cornered Jim...then, he picked him up and tossed him around in the air...
"Oooh impressive. Your grinch-like abilities are coming along well." Jim cooed. "You know, if you wanted to you could always become evil like me."
"I don't want to be evil. But thanks for the offer anyway!" He quipped.
"Oh okay. Suit yourself." Jim responded.
Bruce then grabbed Jim by the neck, then did a flying karate kick that sent him flying onto the ground..
"Hey Bruce, catch!" Todd shouted as he tossed a chainsaw in Bruce's direction.
"Thanks! I've been looking all over for this!" Bruce exclaimed as he caught the chainsaw and put it in his hand. "Alright you green hairy freak, it's showtime!"
Bruce was winning the fight against Jim now, and it wasn't just because of his newfound super powers, it was because he now had his chainsawhand with him.
And it looked like Jim Carrey was almost out of energy..
"Oh Bruce, before you finish Jim there's something I want you to have!" Jeff yelled.
Jeff tossed a shotgun in Bruce's direction and Bruce caught it...
"Yes, finally! Alright Carrey, you see this....this is my BOOMSTICK! And you're going to see what this bad boy can do!" Bruce exclaimed.
Bruce held his boomstick and aimed it at Jim...
"You're not going to shoot me are you?" Jim asked, quivering.
"No. But i'm gonna do this!" Bruce replied.
Bruce then took aim and fired one shot at a gargoyle statue..
"Ha ha, missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me!" Jim sang.
"I wasn't aiming for ya!" Bruce quipped.
The gargoyle statue fell on Jim Carrey and it crushed him, making him all flat like in a cartoon.
"Groovy." Bruce said.
"Oh alright, you win." Jim exclaimed.
Bruce had defeated Jim...
And it was just in time too - the night was over and the sun was rising..
A big flash of light appeared as Bruce slowly morphed back into his old human self..
"Yes. I'm back to being my old ass kicking self again! The curse has been lifted." Bruce exclaimed in a most heroic manner.
Bruce's friends walked up to congradulate him on his victory..
"Brucey! You're back to normal again." Paulie cheered.
"Yeah! You're not green and hairy anymore." Jake responded. "You're back to being you."
"Yep. And there's nothing else i'd rather be." Bruce told them.
"I'm so glad you're back to normal again, although I did like your weregrinch form." Adam stated. "How does it feel to be you again?"
"Groovy. Just groovy!" Bruce replied, stroking his hair.
"Yep that's our Bruce!" Jake exclaimed. "He's back to normal."
"Another sucessful victory over the forces of evil. I say this calls for a celebration." Bruce announced.
-------
And so Bruce and his friends went back to the trailer park and celebrated. Bruce had been turned back to normal and Jim Carrey had been defeated.
Bruce had been turned back to normal in the end and his brief stint as a weregrinch was gone.
All was right in the fair town and once again the forces of evil had been defeated by the mighty Bruce.
The end
-----
I hope you enjoyed all 4 parts of the story.
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