To Andria

This message goes out for a very special friend,   and her name is Andria.  

To Andria,

I would like to thank you for believing me and supporting me and not believing a word Metokur or Slapstick Anarchy has to say about me,   i'd also like to thank you for inspiring so many of my stories and characters and for being an overall wonderful friend.    Thank you for everything.  

Also you'll be glad to know that EGY is no longer a problem since she got banned from DA in December of last year,  also you don't have to worry about ol Rents -   his blog now appears to be gone as he has been banned from wordpress.     Also Midnight-Oyl and i  are no longer enemies as we are now friends on deviantart.

I have been doing very fine and have had a wonderful christmas,   i am also glad to announce that the cyst that i once had on the left side of my neck is now gone for good,  i had an operation on the 9th of December and now that cyst is gone.

I hope that you are well and that no monsters,  aliens or demons have tried to kill you,  eat you or maim you.  You are one of the best online friends i have ever had.

But there is only so many words i can use to describe how wonderful you are as a friend,  and i would probably run out of things to say before i can finish this,   but i would just like to say...thanks for being a friend.        And here's a cute little furry friend to give you some inspirational words of wisdom on the subject of friendship.  

Professor Rowan

I'd like to you introduce you to the latest villain in my monster world series,   he's a British werecat.


Description:

Professor Rowan Tiberius is a villain in the Monster World series and he is a werecat who works as a tutor at the University Nathan and his friends study at and always is a member of an evil werecreature clan.

Appearance:

In his human form he resembles Rowan Atkinson but with long hair,   he wears a black suit and tie and sensible shoes.   As a werecat he has black fur,  emerald green eyes with slits like a cats eyes,   long sharp claws on his fingers and toes,   pointed ears,   bushy eyebrows,   a black nose,   small tiger-like fangs,   whiskers,   a tail and a slightly wild looking mane.

Personality:

For the most part he appears to be rather charming and polite,  but that's because no one knows he is a werecat.      He also is rather cunning and crafty and can be quite mean at times.    He also sounds just like Rowan and has a great sense of humour.

Skills:

Like most werecats he has amazing cat-like agility and reflexes,   he is incredibly agile and not to mention strong and has very keen senses.    He also is quite intelligent as well as being cunning and crafty.    He can also turn into a small black cat to escape from his enemies.

Hobbies:

He doesn't have many hobbies but he does collect a lot of cat statues,   his lair in general has a cat inspired motif.     He also enjoys studying lycanthropy to some extent.

Accomplices:

He doesn't have many evil accomplices apart from fellow evil werecreature clan members,   surprisingly he is also a friend of Phillip the werepanther from the monster friends club.

Enemies:

His main arch enemies include anyone who tries to foil his plans as well as Nathan/Growler who he once tried to enlist but Nathan/Growler refused saying that he is a good weregrinch and always will be.

Background:

When Mr Harwood -   the regular tutor Nathan and his friends had caught a strange infectious disease which Ratty was to blame for it....     Professor Rowan was generous enough to offer to fill in as the replacement.    The class seemed to like him with the exception of Lithius the dogtanian,   and Nathan's friend Trevor who sneezed whenever he walked by.

No one really knew he was a werecat but Nathan's friend Kevin immediately began to suspect it after Professor Rowan hissed at Ratty in the manner of a cat.    Which explains why Trevor sneezed whenever he walked by -  because he was allergic to cats.

When Kevin tried telling his friends about this -  no one believed him except for Liam,  and not even Nathan himself believed it at first - because like most people in the class -  Nathan thought he was quite a charming guy.

That night while Nathan is on his way to visit his monster gang he is stopped by a small black cat - the black cat then shapeshifts back into Professor Rowan,    Nathan asks him what he's doing and Professor Rowan explains he is getting a midnight snack and points to the leftover food in the trashcan,   Nathan gets mad,  snarls and tells him to stay away from them as the trashcan is his and that it's off limits.  

Professor Rowan's eyes glow and become cat-like as he enters a fearsome attack position but Nathan grinches out becoming Growler the weregrinch and him becoming his werecat form and the two battle it out on the street for a few hours,   before Professor Rowan slinks off into the shadows and Growler follows him into the woods and they battle it out a few more times.    He tries using his stealth to ambush Growler but Growler leaps and karate kicks him -  knocking him right into the lake.

Professor Rowan gets slightly miffed as his fur gets wet and he tries licking it clean,   when he is done both of them return to human form and he explains his mission -  he is a member of an evil werecreature clan and has had his eye on Nathan for sometime,   he also knows Nathan is a weregrinch and offers him the chance to enlist.

But Nathan turns it down saying that he is a good weregrinch and always will be,   Professor Rowan turns into a black cat and slinks off into the night once more.

Place of residence:

He has his own lair which has a study and a very cat inspired motif,   including several cat statues and and a library with books all about lycanthropy including many stories about werecats.

Traits:

Like many werecats he will transform at full moon but he can transform voluntarily as well,   also since werecats are known for their intense jealousy -  he will start transforming partially when jealous -  which is signified by his eyes glowing emerald green and becoming cat-like.   He also hissess in a cat-like manner.    He often uses his cunning mind and stealth when hunting to ambush his enemies.

werecat family

Today i'm going to tell you about some of the newest arrivals in my monster world series,  they are a family of werecats from Britain.

Rowan:

Professor Rowan Tiberius is the husband of Samatha,  he is a tutor at the university Nathan goes to and studies lycanthropy.   He is a male werecat who resembles Rowan Atkinson but with long hair and sounds like him a little bit,   he is very charming and polite but also sly and cunning as well.   He is a member of an evil werecreature clan,  and once tried enlisting Nathan but Nathan turned into down.  As a werecat he has black fur,  black claws on his fingers and toes,  a long black tail,  pointed ears, emerald green cat-like eyes,  small tiger-like fangs,  a black nose, whiskers,  bushy eyebrows and a long but well groomed mane.   He mainly spends his time concocting cunning plans and researching lycanthropy as well as lounging around in the lair.    His hobbies including reading books on lycanthropy in the library and collecting cat statues.   Even though he is evil,  he is shown to actually be quite nice at times and is a dedicated father -  he's very protective of his daughter and his son and often spends time teaching them how to be a proper werecat.   The type of cat form he turns into escape from people who try to catch him is a black cat.

Samatha:

Rowan's wife,  she is a stage actress and is quite considerate and friendly but she doesn't always agree with her husband but goes along with his plans anyway.  In human form she has long brown hair and blue eyes as a fairly slim physique, as a werecat she has brownish fur,  claws much like Rowan's on her hands and feet,  slightly cat-like ears, yellow cat-like eyes that glow in the dark,  a short tail,  a wild looking mane,  fangs,  a black nose, whiskers and almost semi-feline features.   Most of the time she's seen taking part in stage productions and helping out.    The type of cat she turns into when she needs to get in places that are locked or otherwise is a tortouise-shell cat with splotches of white as well as brown.

Olivia:

The daughter of Rowan and Samatha,  she studies at the same university as Nathan and is rather spunky and classy.   In her human form she has straight blonde hair and brown eyes and has a rather sweet girl-next-door type appearance.   As a werecat she has tan fur,  light yellow cat-like eyes,  claws on her fingers and toes,  a rather long mane of hair,  slightly pointed cat-like ears,  small fangs, a short tail,  whiskers and a black nose and lips.   Most of the time she can been seen studying in the same dorm as Nathan and the others,  but she also enjoys reading monster world books.   She was once saved by Nathan at one point. The type of cat she turns into get out of a tricky situation is a tabby cat.  On occassion she and her brother do spend time learning how to be proper werecats with their father tutoring them.


William:

Olivia's older brother,  he is socially awkward and shy around females but is quite a gentleman.  In his human form he has straight black hair and brown eyes as well as a small goatee.   As a werecat he has black fur with white steaks, claws on his fingers and toes, a mane,  dark green cat-like eyes, pointed ears, tiger-like fangs,  slightly bushy eyebrows,  whiskers, and a black nose and a a long tail.  He spends most of his time exploring and making things.   The cat type he turns into escape out of an awkward situation is a black and white short hair cat.   He and Olivia sometimes spend time together learning to be proper werecats with their father being the tutor.

photomanip problem

I'd like to bring up something that trolls have been bothering me about ever since I got my own undeserved ED article,  it this is this photomanip here of a werejohncandy here.    Now the trolls have been bothering me about this particular manip saying that this werejohncandy has an arm where his so called penis should be,   which isn't even remotely true -   as you can clearly see -  the other arm isn't even located near said werejohncandy's crotch and you clearly see he is wearing pants and you know the hole where a man's penis goes -  well that's where his crotch is -    obviously these trolls who said that must have failed anatomy.   If you looked a little closer we could see that the other arm in the picture is exactly in the same position as where the right arm is,    it was difficult to do this seeing as I hard to use John Candy's arms,  paint the fur and claws on them,  as well as get rid of the two other arms that were present in the original photo (the original it was a photomanip Weremoose did of himself turning into Broadway from Disney's Gargoyles) as well as the tail and legs that were in the original photo along with the head and the wings.    On top of that i had to rotate both arms into the position that would sort of match the way the arms in the original picture were positioned  -  same goes for the legs and for the head -   in the original photo that is the photomanip of weremoose as Broadway he has his head held back as if he is roaring or yawning.     And that's the explanation behind that.

Also whoever said the arm being where the werejohncandy's willy should be is a bit stupid,  and they must have failed anatomy class.    Either that or said troll has been paying way too many visits to TVTropes.org and been visiting the Squick,  Freud was Right, and Body Horror entry pages almost every single day and night of their lives.       Which is probably what may have inspired Anon to do that awful story about me being turned into a penis-headed freak (or literal dickhead as I call it)  -  she must have taken a look at the Body Horror entry page and got inspired by one of the things mentioned in the film section,   I think it may have in fact been something from a David Cronenberg movie of sorts -   it may have been either Crash or Videodrome,   because in Videodrome there are a couple of scenes like that (like when Max's stomach becomes sort of like an organic VHS player which looks eerily similar to a vagina,  the penis drill scene,  and the gun that comes out of the tv).     Someone should have told Anon and the other trolls out there not to stay too long on tvtropes,  granted it is a funny website and very addictive but it can really mess you up in more ways than one -   oh well,    I guess it is too late for them.

Thank you for
 listening.

vampire movie marathon

I'm having a vampire themed marathon this week and it will mainly consist of 80's/90's/or 2000's vampire films, but no Twilight.

The movies i'm planning on watching are:

1. Fright Night
2. Lost Boys.
3. Once Bitten.
4. Innocent Blood.
5. Vampires Kiss.
6. From Dusk Till Dawn.
7. The Hunger.
8. My Best Friend Is A Vampire
9. Interview With A Vampire.
10. Blade.
11. Vampire In Brookyln.
12. Underworld.
13. 30 Days of Night.
14. Dracula 2000.
15. Van Helsing.
16. Dracula: Dead and Loving It.
17.   Monster Squad

Change for the better

It looks like things are finally going right for me,  not only have two of absolutely worst online enemies have been banned (EGY and Rents)  but i'm now fully able to enjoy myself without fear of trolls,   all of EGY and her other aliases if she had any others -  have been banned off deviantart and hopefully will not be returning,  also i seem to have come on pretty good terms with Kheperbleu and Midnight-oyl, both of which used to be enemies of mine.

The only way things could get better is if Metokur would got permanently shut down forever or if all of EGY's blogs on blogspot got deleted.

Also now that my neck cyst finally got rid of and my voice back to normal i feel just great,  the Yowie toys i found on trademe finally arrived -  turns out the sender got the address wrong.   My dad had to do a lot of outbidding on there in order to get them.

Plus i am starting work on a script i've been wanting to do -  it's called My Tutor the Werecat and the villain of the piece is a werecat named Professor Rowan Tiberius who looks a lot like Rowan Atkinson.   It's a 3 parter and i'm just starting work on part 1.

Despicable dvd

Yesterday i got the movie Despicable Me on dvd and i watched it last night and it was really enjoyable and fun,  every bit of it was entertaining.

Gru reminds me a bit of Rowan Atkinson especially in the way he moves,   and the Minions are really cute.   You should get this movie out,  it's really funny.

Plus for all those werewolf lovers out there -  there is a scene where Gru is shrinking the moon and one of the things we see is a werewolf turning back into his human form.

Plus the really cool thing is that the dvd came with a little Minion figurine,  which is adorable and the perfect thing to help make my army of minions.

I heavily suggested getting this movie out.

Transformation dreams

A lot of my dreams have a transformation theme and lots of tf scenes in them,   so here are just few of them.


The Tale Of The Daemon Ritus:

This one is inspired by the live action Scooby Doo movie,   the main protaganist in it is a young woman who discovers an item known as the Daemon ritus and awakens all the demons (resembling the ones from the film) after saying the demon chant in front of a mirror,   she becomes possessed and slowly starts turning evil and turning into a demoness -  and it's up to her lover and friend to find a way to turn her back to her normal self before it's too late.

The Tale Of The Vampire Bikers:

This is a Lost Boys inspired one featuring Vincent of my attic monster gang and his vampire biker gang, in it the city of Burbank has a major vampire problem so the mayor hires a vampire hunter named Hubert Van Helsing -  unfortunately this vampire hunter is a bumbling fool and doesn't know how to do his job right -  and Vincent and his gang easily manage to escape his rather flimsy traps and outwit him,    Vincent and Hubert do battle -   and Hubert gets bitten by Vincent and becomes a vampire himself.


Lord Of The Wererats:

This dream is based on a short screenplay i came up with,  it features a brother/sister duo who are wererats and happen to be rogues -   their evil arch enemy the wererat lord has his eye on an amulet which grants the wearer the power of mind control -  he plans on stealing it so he can become the most powerful wererat in the entire forest,   the duo have to find a way to protect the amulet so that he won't be able to steal it.

The Curse of Bat-Adder:

This dream is inspired by a Blackadder fanscript in which Blackadder is attacked by a werebat and starts turning into a were-bat himself,    and he has to try and find a cure before it's too late or he'll be a werebat forever,    other Blackadder characters that appear in this include Flashheart who plays a monster hunter.    This is also the inspiration behind the Bat-Adder incarnation i came up with.

The Grinch Costume:

A monster movie maniac buys a movie style grinch costume from Wacky Wally's costume store but doesn't believe him when Wally tells him the costume is magic -    he soon finds themself turning into an actual grinch as the costume merges with him.


Bart People:

This is one of the many Simpsons dreams i've had,  it is a segment for a treehouse of horror episode and is based on the Treehouse of horror comic of the same name.    On their return from Itchy and Scratchy land -    Bart is cursed to transform into a black panther and that if he is working with anyone else besides Lisa or Millhouse he involuntarily transforms and goes and wreaks havoc on the city of Springfield.    Lisa also becomes partially inflicted with the same curse and almost turns into one herself but playing jazz music helps her calm down and to control her instincts.    She uses this on Bart to subdue him -  but unlike the ending of the comic Bart doesn't taken to the show or put in the panther exihibit -  he learns to eventually control his transformations.... but also like the ending of the comic... it is revealed that some other residents of Springfield were also given the very same curse including Maggie who starts turning towards the end...  her eyes become emerald green with cat-like slits.

The Unwanted House Ghost:

A posh couple move in the house next door to my brother and i,   but what they don't know is that their house is actually haunted as they soon find out when a rather sadistic ghost decides to make it his buisness to try and scare them out of the house.     The Ghost possesess one of the servants and makes him attack the couple.   

Monster Fever on Spooky Island:

The rock band that Natalia and Trolse are in are invited to the famous holiday theme park Spooky Island by the owner Emile Mondavarious to perform a monster themed concert -   they accept the invitation but when they get to the island strange things start happening -    each member of the band slowly starts turning into a monster of sorts -   Trolse turns into a werewolf,   Natalia turns into a vampiress,   Jen turns into a gargoyle,  Mark turns into a zombie and Allen turns into a demon.    Rowan Atkinson guest stars as his character Emile Mondavarious from the Scooby Doo movie.

Attack Of The Teen werecat:

Tasmin Burville is the most diabolical 15 year old in town,   she also has a deep love of cats and is quite cat-like herself -   she starts transforming into a werecat and decides that she likes it and uses it to pull all sorts of dastardly tricks on people.

Blackadder Returns:

This is another Blackadder inspired dream,  it starts off with me getting ready to perform on stage in a play when i get a visitation from Mr Edmund Blackadder himself (in his Blackadder the third incarnation) who tells me that i am a long lost Blackadder descendant and that it's my destiny to be a cunning,  intellectual mastermind like the rest of the clan.    I start slowly becoming more and more Blackadder-like with each day - even start to look like him and sound like him -  my friends try numerous ways to try and get me back to my normal self but i dismiss them all,  eventually i am left with a choice -  either accept that it is my destiny to become a BlackAdder or get a change of heart and get back to my normal self and return to my friends,   eventually i decide that bad guys have more so fun so i accept my fate and my transformation into a full blown Blackadder member completes itself as i slink off into the shadows with my own Baldrick following closely.

Dan-Zilla:

Fans of the Godzilla movies would like this dream very much,   it's about my brother's pal Dan and his love of monsters -  one day while camping he falls into a radioactive lake and starts mutating into a large Godzilla-like monster similar to Tyranitor of my attic monster gang -   he wrestles with a gorilla monster and a giant squid creature.

Enter Toy-Master:

A supervillain by the name of the Toy-Master is transforming people into action figures,  plush animals or other toys.    The heroes have to work out a plan to stop him and once they do they go to his lair which is cleverly disguised as a Toys R Us store and work together to turn the people back to normal,  unfortunately during the final face-off one of their friends is transformed into a Mushabelly animal of sorts.    Luckily though he becomes a member of the Happy Me To You Mushabelly tribe at the end.


Werebear Of Oregon:

This one features a man who is a lot like Midnight-Oyl including having similar interests,   and he is infected with the Wocka wocka werebear curse (much like Fozzie in Muppet Monster Adventure) and is cursed to transform into a wocka-wocka Werebear every night,   and he tries numerous ways to find a cure for his condition but he fails most of the time,  in the end though he decides to pass the curse over to someone else.

friend profile

Full name: Tyrone Lucius DeSoto.
Nickname: Tyrone The Terrible.
Age: N/A.
Occupation: Writer/singer/supervillain.
Personality: Evil, charming, funny, suave and deliciously hammy.
Star sign: Scorpio.
Hair: Black with red streeks.
Eyes: Eeerie glowing green.
Skin: Fair.
Special skills: Singing, writing, inventing, plotting.
Trademarks: His evil laugh, his wicked smirk, his smooth voice, and his love of reptiles.
Villainous asscioates: Morgoth (an Alice Cooper lookalike), Dr Madness and various other villainous friends of his.
Favourite animal: Snakes and any other kind of reptile, bats, and spiders.
Favourite food: Anything hot and spicey.
Favourite drink: Beer.
Favourite colours: Black, grinch green, purple, and blood red.
Favourite movie genres: Sci fi, fantasy, horror, animation.
Favourite singers: Alice Cooper, David Bowie, The Rolling Stones, Meatloaf, Metalica, Kiss, Iron Maiden, Voltaire.
Idols: Vincent Price, Tim Curry, Christopher Lee, Chris Sarandon, Jeff Goldblum, Peter Lorre.
Favourite tv shows: BlackAdder, Buffy the vampire slayer, Supernatural, Tales From The Crypt, Masters Of Horror.
Favourite movie directors: David Cronenberg, Tim Burton, David Lynch, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Tom Holloland, George Lucas, John Landis.
All time favourite movie: Nightmare On Elm Street.
Favourite Disney villains: Scar, Shere Kahn, Clayton, Forte, Maleficent, The Queen/Witch, Ratigan, Chernabog, Gaston, Sid, Ursula, Judge Doom, Hades and Oogie Boogie.
Talents: Can do mean impersonations of Mick Jagger, David Bowie, Tim Curry and Simon Cowell, can pull off a great Villain Song, is extremely clever, can invent a lot of evil weapons and gadgets.
Special powers: Mind control, levitation, and the ability to turn into a big, scary all powerful monster.
Personal quotes: "I'm good at being bad!" "I know, i'm just terrible!" "There is no escape!" "Give into me now!".
Home: A tall, dark terrifying evil fortress located three blocks away from our amusement park/museum. It's the one with the big T on it.
Favourite song: Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears For Fears (his doorbell plays this tune and also this song is his ringtone).
Hobbies: Plotting evil plans, inventing, drinking, collecting old automobiles and other machinery.
Drives: A Ratfink style hot rod which he calls the Demon Prince.
Background: Tyrone The Terrible is one of Nathan's friends and an evil genius. Even though he is an evil sinister villain, he is a villain with good publicity. He is also a writer and his song speciality is villain songs. He works with various other villainous cohorts including fellow supervillain Nigel Von Sinister. When he's not trying to take over the world he's busy working on his huge collection of old automobiles and other types of machines. He has a pet rat named Ramone and a lot of minions to do his bidding. To him being a villain is fun, so much fun that he enjoys himself. He is quite the Large Ham and isn't afraid to put on a show. He wears a black and red evil overlord outfit made to look like Jafar's one from Aladdin. He posesssess an array of amazing supernatural powers and one of them is the abiltiy to turn into a big, scary, all powerful monster. His monster form has rarely been seen but rumour has it that it's so scary that people are put into a catatonic state of fear if they ever catch a glimpse of it.

Yowie power

I've been looking around the internet for interesting clips and fun websites, and i stumbled upon a site about the Yowies, in case you don't know what a Yowie is it's sort o like Kinder Surprise but you get an animal toy in them, mainly of an Australian or new Zealand animal. There were 6 Yowie-men, their names were Boof, Rumble, Crag, Ditty, Squish, and Nap.

You can find about them here;
[link]


Nap (guardian of the gum tree forest):
[link]

Rumble (desert and flatlands guardian):
[link]

Ditty (bushland garden):
[link]

Squish (river guardian):
[link]

Boof (rainforest guardian);
[link]

Crag (wetland guardian):
[link]

Yowie animated video clip:
[link]


Yowie commercial:
[link]

monsters and the darkside

Despite what Anon said,   this blog is in no way an emo blog and i am not emo either,   i  don't do all those things that some people think emos do like cutting yourself and all that -  those are just crude stereotypes,   i know that knives are dangerous and one should not play with them,   i only use a knive for cuting food  and nothing else -  certainly not for killing people or anything.

Also while it was true i wear black sometimes,   i'm not emo in the least bit,   while it is true i did go through a Goth phase in 2001-2007  that was only because i wanted to be like the character Merton from the show Big Wolf On Campus.   It's also mainly because in a way to emulate the style of my favorite American Idol judge - and by in the if you are wondering who it is -  it's Simon.   And by the way i am not obsessed with him or anythin g and despite what Anon said i have no intention of morphing into a "Were-"  version of him,  even though it was mighty nice of her to say that and to call me a snake on slapstick anarchy -    seriously,   that was a pretty high and awesome compliment -   i like snakes as they are some of my favorite animals and i like Simon as he is one of my favorite celebrities (hence why one of the villains in my Carlos Castaneda fan story series is a male Naga appropriately named Cowellconstrictor,  as the waist up he looks like Simon and he also has Simon's personality and his voice).

And also i haven't heard of the band My Chemical Romance and while i have heard of Linkin Park,  i don't listen to them that much.      My music tastes are different -   i like Elvis,  David Bowie,   Meatloaf,   Kiss,  Metallica,  Alice Cooper,   MJ,  Madonna,  Cher,   Rolling Stones,   The Blues Brothers,   Iron Maiden,    Creature Feature and even bands like Aqua and Westlife.    I used to be a Spice Girls fan too.

Yes it's true i do love monsters and other scary things as well as horror movies,   I used to be a fan of the Goosebumps book series along with my friend who was also a fan of the series - so much so that she had all the books and the tv show episodes on video.   All of them worked except for A Night In Terror Tower and that was an american VHS and wouldn't work on the VHS player that only played videos from England or Australia.  I wanted to collect all the books,   the only ones i had in the series was the original Monster Blood and Monster Blood II.   My favorite episodes of the series were definitely Night Of The Living Dummy III,   The Haunted Mask,   Werewolf Of Fever Swamp,   Vampire Breath and One Day At Horrorland.    Now Night Of The Living Dummy III and Haunted Mask were special because at the beginning they had R.L Stine (the author of the books)  doing the introduction at the beginining and at the end (he also did the intro for Haunted Mask II,  Werewolf Of Fever Swamp and A Night On Terror Tower).    One thing that i could never figure out and it still perplexes me to this day is about that spot in the middle of his forehead,  i'm very curious -   i don't know if it's a birthmark,  zit or anything like that -  i tried finding it out on google but i couldn't get any results.

As for other horror books,  i did receive a copy of Bram Stoker's Dracula for my birthday back in 1998 when my family and i were on holiday here in New Zealand,   that is what kind of fueled my interest in vampires along with  Buffy the vampire slayer.    And no i'm not a Twilight fan,   I have heard of the books and the films but i have never read the books or seen the movies,   i'm not really interested in them and from what i've been hearing they don't seem all that great and i don't really get why they're so popular.    I feel the same way about Hannah Montana,   High School Musical and any other teenbop thing the Disney Channel makes,   i  just don't get why some kids enjoy them so much.

There was a group of kids at Wairau Valley (the school i used to go to) -  big kids mind you,  who would dance to music during the breaktime.   Mainly because they were practicing for jump jam which i' m ashamed to say i took part in where you have to dance to songs like Witch Doctor and follow the dance moves of the instructor,   but also because music helps calm their leader (the always angry and not to mention quite scary looking) Sally down.

I have quite a few horror books I enjoy reading including the Tales Of Horror series which are sort of books that tell you all sorts of interesting facts about monsters,   the ones i have are Werewolves,  Monsters, Vampires,   and Ghosts -  i hope to get the ones on Aliens and Zombies soon.

I also have the Dungeons and Dragons monster manual,  i personally like the werecreatures they have on their lycanthrope entry including weretigers,  wereboars and wererats.    Coinicidentally,   my friends and I used to do a bit of role-playing where we would play werecreatures -   Jason would be the were-eagle guy,   Eben would be the werebear guy and I would be the were-rat.   I then later used my skills as a writer to type up a script based on this little werecreature game of ours -  starring my wererat character -  who had a little brother of her own (another wererat) both of them were rogues and their main arch enemy would be a wererat nobleman type.   Although now I think Jason is more of a Werejoshpeck because he really does resemble a pre weight loss Josh Peck and has some of his mannerisms too.  

I also worked on several National Lampoon's Animal House fan episode scripts if you will,   and my character was a member of the Delta House -  she was a female werebelushi named Scarlett,  and she would serve as a female counterpart to Bluto (John Belushi's character) -   and yes,  she does have an uncle named Jake but not Crazy Jake like on the Blues Brothers forum but rather Greasy Jake -  a werebelushi who is the owner and manager of the Greasy Jake's fast food joint -  which in a way was sort of our very own parody of McDonalds and Burger King.     My friend David and I had a lot of fun writing up the episodes,   one of the episodes i enjoyed writting the most was the one where Scarlett turns into a Full Werebelushi on a full moon night and goes berserk,   scaring the hell out of everyone in the Omega house as well as Dean Wormer,   i had a lot of fun writing the transformation sequence for that -  i made it sort of painful and at the same time funny - the part where she gains 500lbs was the most fun as was the clothes ripping,   i put some detail into doing the quills growing out of her back part.    And later on i would more transformation sequences like that,   like in the Halloween special transcript -  and to add an extra belushi homage -   she was dressed as a Samurai Blues Brother (a combination of Jake Blues and Samurai Futaba).    Also in an episode of the Blues Brothers fan series i wrote my character Elliot gets transformed into a werebelushi after one of her friends the half cyborg blues brother played by David breaks the rules of the cursed town of Belushitaria,  which Elliot is blamed for and is turned into a werebelushi as a punishment.    In another episode David's character discovers a Belushitarian incantation which can be used to trigger involuntarily transform said werebelushi into werebelushi form,  one part of the incantation translates as "be belushi".     Elliot does turn into a full werebelushi in two other episodes as well,  one of which is the nightmares episode where after the band eats some really badly cooked food from a lackluster eating establishment simply known as I Can't Believe They Call This A Restraunt,    each of them has a nightmare which is to do with the one thing they fear the most -   Elliot one fear is the fear of losing control of her werebelushi instincts and her nightmare shows her in a movie directed by John Landis and she loses control of her werebelushi instincts which causes her to become a full werebelushi during filming and to wreak havoc on the set.    In the other episode she turns into a Full werebelushi in -   she gets frustrated while trying to repair the half cyborg blues brother (David's character) who is malfunctioning and this malfunction causes him to go into Jerk Mode and to insult her,   after numerous attempts at trying to reset him back to his normal Nice Mode -  she gets frustrated and that night she turns into a Full Werebelushi and goes on a full scale city rampage.

It is also noted that I played both characters in their respective "series"  episodes.   Also Scarlett has her own little "lackeys"  in the series,   their names are Grunt and Rangoon,  they first appeared in the episode which tells the story of how Scarlett first joined the Delta house which had her first transformation into her werebelushi form in it.

There was supposed to be an episode where she gets brainwashed and turns into a Wild Werebelushi of sorts and tries to attack her friends,   but i never got around to writting it.

I think one of the members of the Gamma house was a Werejohncandy,   his name was Bounder and he served as a bouncer for the little club most of the other members belonged to.    There was a Grinch guy in Alpha house -   his name was Greenleaf,   Jester and his sister were also were-grinches but  Greenleaf was the main one.

Bloodhound,   who is David's character in the series was part vampire part werewolf.    I remember his name was Aaron Dracula.

There was also one this one member of the Alpha house named Alistair Cowell -   he was the nephew of American Idol judge Simon Cowell and his nickname was Menace,   in addition to being like his uncle right down to the brutal honesty -   he also knew a bit about the dark arts and was sort of a warlock in training.

There was a zombie girl named Siren and she was quite similar to the corpse bride and she was the girlfriend of a zombie guy in alpha house -  said zombie guy was named Zombo like the one in my closet monster gang.

Koalas

I've always been an animal lover but my alltime favourite animal has to be koala,  i love koalas - they're so cute.  

The first time i ever saw a koala was on a British nature series which were filmed at London zoo and hosted by Chris Pachem.    There was also a documentary called King Koala which helped fuel my interest in them,   I remember that there was a male koala named Arnie (after Arnold Scwartzenegger)  and a female koala named Lulu,   and Arnie was competing with this other male koala named Dennis to see who would end up wining Lulu's heart.    Both of them were rescued and looked after by the RSPCA or some other animal rescue organisation.  

I have a brown koala plushie named Lulu -  it was something my beloved nana gave me along with the panda my dad gave me and the little ladybug that would wind up being named Doizee but then named Doizee Jr later on after I purchased that ladybug backpack from Spain.   My old friend Kirsty and I used to play with our koala plushies quite a bit -   hers was named Kiki and she served as the best friend of Lulu (my  koala plushie),   one of the running gags is that i would make Lulu do a silly dance then yell..."Lulu's being silly!"  to which mom or dad would jokingly respond..."Don't be silly,  Lulu."

Being both koala lovers and beanie collectors,  our favorite beanie baby was definitely Mel the koala,  in fact Mel was the first beanie i ever got.    And once i got Eucalpytus -   the two of them immediately became best friends forever.    And when we played with them -  we  often have them acting like boy-crazy teenage girls,  a running gag is that both of them would start chasing any male that came in their direction and yelping..."Elelelellelllel!" before exclaimining..."Boyfriend!"  and kissing their new boyfriends of choice.    I call Mel a she because even though the poem on the tag refers to her as being a male and being named Mel Gibson -   I felt she was more feminine than masculine -   same with Eucalpytus.

One of the children's books i read at a young age had koalas in it,    it was one of the Animal Rescue books -  titled Koala In A Crisis this one was about a girl who helped a stray koala.

I've got many koala related toys and books including several plushes and also a pair of home made koala ears,  i also have the Billabong family which are from the Sylvanian Families range and are a family of koalas.

I used to love the Yowie chocolates,   in fact i first discovered them while on Wahiki Island in New Zealand,  there was a book about one of the Yowie characters -   the particular Yowie character featured in the book was  Nap the honeygum yowie,   he looked a bit like a koala and he lived up in the gum trees.    I had almost all of the animal toys all except the koala one -  no matter how many Yowies my dad bought for me -  it was almost impossible to get the koala,   that is until one day when i got lucky -   now in the Yowie commercial they showed the Bandicoot-like yowie character Boof in his chocolate form and the koala came out of the capsule,  ironically I did not find the toy in that very same Yowie -   i found him in the platypus-like one.

Back when i had all the Puppy In My Pocket type toys,   there was one set i stumbled upon in the toy department at Tesco's -   it was one of the koala family consisting of the mama koala and her children and it came with the treehouse.    After buying it and paying for it -  i took the set home and play with it,  all was happy until that unfortunate thing that happened at bathtime,   when the plug got pulled out -  one of the koala babies got sucked down the plughole and down into the drain where he/she was unfortunately never seen or heard from again.     This  isn't the first time it's happened either,   much earlier -  on a cruise across the River Thames -  one of my Kitten In My Pocket figurines fell right into the river.

I have the Blinky Bill CD Rom games and still play them from time to time,   i used to watch the cartoon series frequently as well.  

The two koala plushies I am frequently seen playing with and cuddling up with are Pookie and Sidney,  now Pookie is an orange TY Pluffie koala  while  Sidney is one i brought from Natures Window.    When I play with them i make it so Pookie is a scientific genius who is working undercover and pretending to be an idiot to trick the bad guys while i make it that Sidney is a complete idiot who can't do anything right and seems to like pickles a lot and will believe almost anything anyone tells him.

I know some pretty amazing facts about koalas.    For instance they sleep almost 22 hours a day,  but they do come out sometimes after sunset.  

Also their name in Aborginal means no-drink,   which means they don't need to drink water to get the nutrients they need  since their main diet of Eucalpytus leaves provides them with the nutrients they need.   And in case you are wondering -  no they are not bears -  people just refer to them as bears because they think they look like them.    The reason they do is to do with when the Europeans first came to Australia -  they saw the koalas and thought they looked like bears -  thus they claimed the koalas were bears and that's why they keep refering to it as a koala bear even though it is not a bear.

Koalas are marsupials which means they are special kind of mammals that live in Australia and have pouches where their young babies or joeys stay until they are old enough to leave on their own -   a koala's pouch opens at the bottom unlike with kangaroos where it opens at the top.   And no -  they do not get drunk or "drugged out"  from eating the leaves.

Also koalas have 4 thumbs on each paw and their fingerprints are almost the same as human fingerprints.

As much as i love koalas,   i have never been up and close to a real one before as i don't live in Australia -  for a while  i wanted one as a pet but upon looking it up recently i  learned that it is illegal to keep them as pets anywhere even in Australia except in the case of zoos and nature reserves.  

  Which is just as well seeing as they could be considered endangered  -  their homes are constantly being destroyed due to bushfires and pretty soon they could end up without any home to live in at all.    Other threats include owls,  dingoes and pythons.    Over 40000 koalas are killed each year by either a car or dog.

Now my dad unfortunately now has the habit of making this one joke about koalas eating people -  specifically Australians -   we all know it isn't true because koalas are folivores and live solely on a diet of Eucalpytus leaves.     I think he must have them confused with their evil counterparts the Dropbears which are described as being large,  vicious carnivorous koalas with sharp teeth that inhabit tree-tops and attack their prey by dropping down onto their heads from above.

I think the odds of koalas eating people to be highly unlikely -   i definitely think dad has them confused with dropbears but not to worry though -  dropbears are just something the Australians make up to frighten tourists.     I don't think we will ever have to worry about koalas of any kind eating people especially  not Australians -  unless of course Peter Jackson decides to return to doing splatter type horror films like the ones he did before he made Lord Of The Rings and fly over to Australia and make a splatter type horror film about killer koalas either killing or eating people using animatronics or something.  

But mind you -  a movie like that would be pretty cool to see though,   it could be sort of like Gremlins or Troll/Troll 2,    they could get Peter Jackson to direct it -  but if PJ's not available  they could get Joe Dante to direct it or Edgar Wright who did Shaun Of The Dead and Hot Fuzz -  or maybe they could get Sam Raimi to direct it and give his friend Bruce Campbell a role in it.

Koalas are not only cute,  they're cool and really amazing creatures.    There should be a cartoon series about a group of superhero anthromorphic koalas that fight crime -  something like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but for the Aussie crowd.