Thursday 16 April 2009

101 uses and reasons for physyical shifting

  1. Can easily scare away unwanted intruders (including mailmen) out of your house.
  2. Can terrify skiers on a ski trip by pretending to be a yeti (For Wereapes)
  3. Can truthfully say…”The dog ate my homework.”
  4. For Werebirds: No more airplanes!
  5. Can use claws to open cans and shred bad mail you don’t want.
  6. Can retract fangs to freak your neighbours out.
  7. For Wereowls: Can twist your head around and freak out your enemies like in the Exorcist.
  8. Knife and fork? Sorry, not for you!
  9. Mum won’t tell you not to play with your food ever again.
  10. You can finally get back at that creepy dentist you really hate.
  11. Who needs a bath or a shower now?
  12. Can finally back at that evil doctor who keeps trying to kill you with a needle.
  13. Can easily make new friends at the zoo.
  14. For Werecats: Can get back at the barking dogs that keep waking you up at night.
  15. Can easily scare away the annoying black cat that’s been giving you bad luck.
  16. Can easily take care of the bully at school.
  17. Can mess with the landlord’s mind.
  18. Can finally teach your mean old work boss a lesson.
  19. Can scare away teachers.
  20. Blue ribbon at every pet show.
  21. You can easily scratch yourself without the aid of a person or object.
  22. Can easily be both the roles of Beast and Gaston in your school production of Beauty and the beast.
  23. It’s ridiculously easy to win 1st prize at a dog show!
  24. For Wererats: It’s easy to slip past enemies unnoticed.
  25. When someone tells you…”Bite me” , you can.
  26. For Werelizards: Can easily “blend in with the crowd.”
  27. FREE FOOD!
  28. Can easily groom yourself.
  29. For Werelions: Can easily imitate Mufasa or Scar.
  30. Steady job as a Disney villain. Shapeshifying villains are always favourable.
  31. Steady job as a professional wrestler.
  32. Steady job as a villain in a video game/movie.
  33. Can easily get a spot as a villain in an episode of Buffy.
  34. Shaving? No need for shaving!
  35. Security won’t bother you when you go to rob a store.
  36. Can truthfully say….”And every last inch of me is covered with hair.” like Gaston.
  37. Dental hygiene via dog biscuits.
  38. For WereBeasts: Can easily imitate the fight scene between Beast and Gaston in BATB.
  39. For Werecats: Catwoman has got nothing on you.
  40.  Paper boys either get outrun or maimed.
  41. Can play Frisbee with yourself.
  42. Cut down on food bills and over population at the same time.
  43.  No one will want to wake you up in the morning.
  44. Coats? Who needs them when you have fur!
  45. Can easily scare away your annoying snobbish arch rival.
  46. Can ruin mum’s new curtains by scratching them to bits.
  47. Never have to use a towel to dry off.
  48. Can easily replace Felix in the Felix cat food commercial as the new spokescat (For Werecats).
  49. Can be hired for security.
  50. No one will ever want to rob from you.
  51. Can easily get a job as a guard dog.
  52. For Weredragons: No need to use a campfire for roasting marshmallows.
  53.  Easy money: Go to a vet and sue for trying to kill your pet.
  54.  Can scare annoying nosey neighbours away real good.
  55. For Werecats: Can do a dead on Mike Myers impersonation.
  56.  Now that you’re a were-(insert animal name here) you can get payback on your enemies by tripping them up with your tail.
  57. For werecows: No need to go to the supermarket to get milk.
  58. You don’t need a fancy costume or makeup to look good on Halloween.
  59.  For werebats: Batman has nothing on you.
  60. Can get a guess spot as a villain/villainess on an episode of Big Wolf On Campus.
  61.  They love you so much that they’ll want you back for more episodes.
  62. X files? You are one and you will get the encounters special to yourself.
  63. It's ridiculously easy to get a part in any movie.
64. Same goes for TV, cartoons and video games.
65. Everyone will want you to be their bodyguard.
66. Annoying intruders get scared off easily.
67. Your brother or sister won't ever bother you.
68. Can instantly beat your friends in a running race.
69. Can beat the captain of the football team in a wrestling match.
70. The cool thing is that you can do whatever you want.
71. For WereApes: can do a dead on impersonation of King Kong.
72. Can easily get hired to work at a store.
73. No burglars will ever want to rob from that store again after they see that you work in it.
74. Can outrun the dog catcher/exterminator.
75. No need to shave.
76. Can be relied on to save people.
77. Your best friend will never be picked on by bullies again knowing that they have you to protect them.
78. It can come in handy.
79. Can Become a tag champion instantly.
80. Your enemies will now back away whenever you're around.
81. For Werebelushi family members: You can now eat all you can eat.
82. For WereElvises: Can easily whoop your opponent at karaoke contests and at games of Singstar.
83. People will never ever complain about your pets making noise in the middle of the night ever again.
84. For weredogs: Can be your own best friend.
85. Same goes for you if you are a Werejohncandy.
86. Can stay up all night.
87. For werecats: Can make an exellent cat burgular (literally)
88. For wererats: Can do a great impersonation of Ratigan from the Great Mouse Detective.
89. Another one for WereElvises: You are a shoe in to win ANY Elvis impersonator contest.
90. You'll never have to ask permission to go out late at night anymore.
91. For werelions: MGM will more than likely want you to be the fill in for Leo the lion.
92. Costume contests are a piece of cake.
93. It's fun messing with people's heads.
94. No dry cleaning bills ever again.
95. Unlimited oppuntunites to have fun.
96. Having super keen senses and superhuman agility and strength come in handy when in sticky situations
97. For WereElvises again: Can easily start up a Crowd Song musical number.
98. Instant fame and popularity.
99. Another one for the WereElvi crowd: Can easily win the heart of the love of your life with a beautiful love song.
100. Being able to transform at will gives you hours of fun.
And
101. It's the best thing ever.

4 comments:

  1. Great reasons for physical shifting, and here's another one that's an example of me, my husband and two of our cars: My husband and I can both turn into "grey" aliens and make our Chevy van or our Datsun 260Z into a UFO and leave border-patrol agents puzzled, pissed off, confused and weirded out when they are searching for the booze and cigarettes that we like to bring back from Canada and Mexico.

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  2. That's totally awesome. Me and my brother have been turned into a plethora of different things. I was turned into a vampire after being bitten by my brother's horrid ex girlfriend (she was a vampiress). My brother recreated Jeff Goldblum's experiment from The Fly using a teleportation device he invented himself and it turned out just like the movie. He became what I like to call BrundleFly III.

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  3. Is there anything for wereandrias similar to the other lycanthrope abilities that you could think of, possibly for another blog entry?

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