Thursday 19 March 2009

Movie goers

In Comic Book Guy's Book Of Culture there is a page called the 18 types of Moviegoers. This is the original list:

  1. Mr Snoozy
  2. The Hooligans.
  3. The Ubiquitous Old Farts Who Always Pick The Wrong Movie.
  4. The Latecomer.
  5. The Heckler.
  6. Talk To The Screen Guy.
  7. Wailing Baby.
  8. The Obstructionist.
  9. True Cinephile.
  10. Scream Queen.
  11. Mr Jaded.
  12. Librarian.
  13. Phone Phillistine.
  14. Sneaky Pete.
  15. Quizler.
  16. Mr Know It All Who Thinks Reading "Entertainment Weekly" Makes Him A Film Expert.
  17. Get A Room Couple.
  18. Brides Of Crankenstein.

Here's ours additions to that list:

  • The Religious Zealot (the annoying religious jackass who shows up at any movie with supernatural elements in it and throughout the movie complains that the many supernatural elements of the movie are….”offensive to god”, usually shows up dressed as the pope or any other religious figure, sometimes brings a bible to the movie)
  • The Master Of Disguise (a combination of The Robin Hood and The Shifty Salesman, often shows up in various disguises that are convincing and fool other moviegoers, usually shows up at action/advenuture, spy, fantasy, or crime movies, is quite unpredictable)
  • The Anti Hero (the guy who roots for the guy who isn’t the hero or the baddie but the anti hero character)
  • The Detective (a smarter version of the cop, usually shows up at crime, and slasher movies and helps the fellow moviegoers figure out who the killer is, dressess like Sherlock Holmes…often says…”Elementary my dear Watson.”)
  • The Sleuth’s Companion (the detective’s best bud, shows up with his bud to
  • The First In Line Gang (a group of moviegoers who are always first in line due to the fact they’ve been camping outside the theater a few nights before the movie is released, usually show up at every kind of movie- being first in line)
  • The Forgetful (a relative of the Moron, buys tickets for the movies and then forgets where he left them later and tries to find them, ends up finding them in the end)
  • The Blabber Box (the annoying guy who NEVER shuts up, talks throughout the movie, NOTE: Avoid sitting next to this one at all costs or he’ll drive you crazy with his nonstop talking!)
  • The Abnormal (usually shows up at horror movies of any kind, is a relative of the Oddball, actually possess supernatural powers, stands out from the rest of the moviegoers because of this)
  • The Movie Goer Icon (the guy who’s SEEN every movie, often boasts about it, KNOWS every movie quote, isn’t very annoying except when he boasts)
  • The Adventerous Scientist (a combination of The Explorer and The Detective, shows up at adventure or crime movies and helps solve the mysteries the movie, often gives out logical explanations for each mystery, loves to explore the theater and search for clues, is usually very intelligent )
  • The International Mystery Man (relative of the Master Of Disguise, wears a variety of disguises, is very mysterious, is often seen during action/adventure and spy movies, the name is a play on both Mystery Men and Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery)
  • The Unlikely Suspects (usually a group of moviegoers, who are most likely to be troublemakers but don’t look like it, often cause trouble, show up during crime movies and are the minions of The Criminal Mastermind- the main enemy of The Interrogator and The Detective)
  • The Thugs (another set of minions for The Criminal Mastermind, or Evil Genius, the thugs are usually a dimwitted but intimidating bunch)

  • The Criminal Mastermind (the arch nemesis of the Detective, exhibits evil traits, has the Unlikey Suspects and The Thugs as minions, thinks of evil plans during the movie but is usually thwarted
  • The Chef (the guy who dislikes the food served at the lobby and then proceeds to make his own food during the movie)
  • The Character Guy (the guy who believes himself to be a character from the movie, dressess and acts like the character, even has a fansite dedicated to that character, and much like the Fanatic….shows it to everyone during the movie)
  • The Dungeons And Dragons Guru (a relative of The Mugen Master, brings D and D Minatures to the movie and paints them during the movie, he also plays Dungeons And Dragons with his buddies while waiting for those annoying lines to speed up)
  • The Legend/Ultimate Moviegoer (a less annoying version of The Movie Goer Icon, has seen every movie in the world and knows all the lines from it, is a walking encylopedia of movie knowledge and isn’t afraid to share his movie knowledge with others during the movie)
  • The Nutty Millionare (a not-so-annoying version of The Snob but combined with The Eccentric Professor, a Willy Wonka-like guy who shows up dressed like Johnny Depp’s version of Willy Wonka complete with two midgets made to resemble Oompa Loompas, is very rich, isn’t afraid to share his money and possessions with friends, makes wacky inventions during the movie)
  • The Prank Master (a combo of The Magician and The Prankster, a lot like Bart Simpson, likes to play tricks on fellow moviegoers and perform a variety of tricks during the movie)
  • The Noisemaker (a relative of the Blabber Box with a bit of the Motormouth thrown in, makes lots of noise during the movie thus making him one of the most annoying moviegoers to sit next to. NOTE: Avoid this one at all costs!)
  • The Silly Billy (a lot like Scampi, is very cheeky, enjoys playing practical jokes on fellow moviegoers during the movie)
  • The Diva (a lot like Soo, this chick tries her best to keep the other moviegoers in check, usually succeeds and sometimes fails)
  • The Gambler Crew (usually a group of guys who enjoy gambling and during the movie take bets on such things as “Which female will the lead guy go for” “how long it takes for the hero to figure out how to slay the monster” and “which character dies first” , they also have contests such as “Who can eat the most popcorn” “who can do the best celebrity impersonation” and “who can annoy other moviegoers the most”)
  • The Trailer Guy (the guy who shows up only for the trailers and then decides to fall asleep as soon as the film starts)
  • The Orange Whip Guy (the cop’s chubby brother, shows up during showings of the Blues Brothers and often asks fellow moviegoers “Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips!” while pointing to them at the same time, looks and sounds like John Candy’s character from Blues Brothers)
  • The Cheez Wiz (some strange guy who shows up at Blues Brothers showings and often asks a random moviegoer….”Did you get me my cheez whiz, boy?” which is followed by said random moviegoer throwing him a spray can of cheez whiz)
  • The Thing That Wouldn’t Leave (a relative of The Blob, never leaves the theater even after the movie is finished, occupies more than one seat, is a very chubby John Belushi-like guy, has the most disgusting eating habits and acts like a cross between the Homer Simpson and The Fat Slob)

  • The Blob (the overweight Belushi-like guy who takes up more than one seat)

  • The Food Lover (the guy who brings his own food to the movie)
  • The Spoiler (the asshole who has read the entirety of the plot including the ending online and then later reveals the ending to everyone)
  • Mr Nice Guy (the generous guy who invites ALL of his buddies and ALL of his relatives to the movie thus filling up every seat in the theater)
  • The Motor mouth (the Michael Winslow-like guy who makes additional dialogue and sound effects ala Motormouth from Police Academy)
  • The Idol Wannabe (the person who sings along with the theme tune, usually very badly- so badly it makes ears bleed).
  • The Comedian (the person who tells corny puns and stuff during the movie, usually tells bad jokes that nobody gets or finds funny)
  • The Ace Ventura (the animal lover who brings his/her own pets to the movie)
  • The Gamer Kid (the kid who gets dragged to see it by his/her cruel parents but instead decides to play video games)
  • The Truly Devoted (usually a group, the type that has seen the movie plenty of times, can recite the lines off by heart, can sing all the songs from the soundtrack, and can even impersonate the characters, show up dressed as said characters from the movie)
  • The Moron (the mental retarded guy who simply just get anything, and by mental retarded I mean like Peter Griffin or Tom Hanks, usually says….”I don’t get it.”)
  • The Writer (the guy who brings a laptop computer and types up fanfic based on the movie during the movie and also types up ideas for the sequel)
  • The Fortune Teller (the person who predicts what the sequels/prequels are going to be like)
  • The Jerk (the guy who always roots for the villain)
  • The Goody Two Shoes (the guy who always roots for the hero)
  • The BookWorm (the person who usually brings a flashlight and a book/comic/magazine to the movie and reads during the movie)
  • The Spunky Damsel (usually a girl, the person who roots for the heroine)
  • The Trusty Friend (the person who is the best friend of the Goody Two Shoes, usually roots for the sidekick/best friend character)
  • The Nitpicker (the guy who points out all the flaws)
  • The SFX expert (the guy who likes the makeup and special effects in the movie)
  • The Movie Geeks (usually show up at fantasy, sci fi, superhero, or action movies- often like to debate over “who would win in a fight between the main character of said movie and the main character of another movie” during the movie)
  • The Wise Guy (the person who points out all the references in the movie)
  • The Artist (the guy who brings paper, and an assortment of art stuff to the movie and draws/paints pictures of the characters and other stuff from the movie during the movie then decides to do a comic book based on it later)
  • The Mog (half person half dog, his/own best friend, a lot like Barf from Spaceballs, often shows during sci fi movies)
  • The Gloomy Goth (the guy who usually shows up at gory horror movies/slasher films and gets all excited during the gory bits and even counts all the dead bodies during the body count scenes)
  • The Snob (The rich guy who buys ALL the seats in the theater)
  • The General (the guy who loves action movies and any movie with battle scenes in it, acts like an army general)
  • The Auto maniac (the guy who loves movies with car chases in them)
  • The Demolitions guy (the guy who loves movies with explosions in them)
  • The Fanatic (the person who knows a lot about the actors in the movie and is a big fan of them, has a bunch of their stuff and even has their own website dedicated to that actor)
  • The daredevil (the moron who tries to imitate the stunts from the movie, usually hurts self in the process)
  • Note taker (the one who writes down notes during the movie)
  • The Shifty Salesman (the mysterious type who is often seen sneaking into R Rated movies, usually wears a variety of mysterious outfits, sells various bootlegged items)

  • The Troper (works for tvtropes, lists the various tropes that are asscioated with the movie he/she is watching)

2 comments:

  1. Doc, I've seen almost every one of those in theaters from time to time, with the exceptions of the Dungeons & Dragons guy, the chef, the criminal mastermind/evil genius, the Mog, the orange-whip guy, and the cheez-whiz guy. I'm not sure about the TVTropes guy, though. I can't tell who works for where, unless they are wearing a certain hat, badge or uniform. I am personally more like the demolitions and car guys all rolled into one.

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