Final Fantasy 9 movie

We would like to announce that we are releasing a movie based on Final Fantasy 9. This is one of the first movies based on a video game we've ever done and the second animated film we have done with motion capture animation. The movie features the voices of Joshua Loius Belushi as Zidane, John Hemmerson as Amarant, Kirsty as Princess Garnet, Doizee as Quina, Yeardly Smith as Eiko, my brother as Vivi, and Patrick Warburton as Adelbert Steiner. The film will be in cinemas starting from tommorow and is guranteed to be an epic. Once again my good friend Tyrone The Terrible voices the role of the villain- this time he voices the wily Kuja. The first animated film we did with motion capture animation was The Eye Of Horus. The Eye Of Horus was based on a play- but not a good one- a godawful school play we wrote the script for. The play was a musical about the Egpytian times- me and my brother produced and wrote the script for it- we orginally wanted it to be an action/adventure film like the Mummy movies but the school's lousy drama teacher Carl insisted on making it a sappy happy musical. What's worse is that none of the actors were right for the parts, the kid playing the pharoah was an Asian dork named Hwon, what's even worse is that the girl playing the pharoah's wife was some freakish looking Asian girl with a stupid accent her name was Abigail I think, also the girl playing one of the pharoah's servant girls was a 300lb Caucassian girl named Rossa. The girl playing the villainess was an ugly, brutish bully named Sally Webster- which just makes it worse because this girl was like the bastard offspring of The Hulk and an orc from Lord Of The Rings. The casting was completely off. Then to make things worse the villainess's army of minions were a group of creatures called "sand people" which makes them an extremely bad ripoff of the Jawas and Tusken Raiders from Star Wars. What's worst is that I was considered to play the "leader" of this so called group of minions, you see.. Carl had made a few changes to the script (the one me and my brother had been WORKING ON the whole damm time) and when I read it I was horrified to see that the sand people get killed off at the end of the big battle scene and that included the leader (the role that I had been considered for). I went up to Carl during rehearsals and gave him quite a stern talking to. I yelled in a most over the top manner...."Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaarl! WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU DONE TO THE SCRIPT ME AND MY BROTHER HAVE WORKED SO HARD ON? What kind of atrocity is this? IT'S NOT THE SAME!!!!!! The casting is all wrong, the kids in this play CAN'T ACT AT ALL and another thing, THERE ARE TOO MANY MUSICAL NUMBERS IN THIS PLAY and it's WAY TOO CUTESY. The script me and my brother worked on for this play was genius....PURE GENIUS! But then YOU had to come along and change it for the worst. The script is RIIIIIPE with historical innaccuracy! Change the script back to what it was BEFORE you changed it into the tripe it is now or else I'LL QUIT!". Carl refused to change the script back to the way it used to be so I then yelled...."OH OKAAAAAAY THEN! IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU WANT TO PLAY IT THEN THAT'S FINE WITH ME, I DON'T CARE, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH IT, JUST REMEMBER.....MY BROTHER AND I SPENT ALL F**** WEEK WORKING ON THAT SCRIPT, you could have left it the way it was....BUT NOOOOOO....YOU HAD TO CHANGE IT. WELL I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, BECAUSE YOU'VE CREATED A MONSTER...........A MONSTER! THE SCRIPT WAS GOLD BEFORE YOU CAME ALONG AND RUINED IT! ME AND MY BROTHER ARE THE REAL EXPERTS HERE. YOU SIR, HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO TALENT. YOU ARE THE WORST DIRECTOR WE HAVE EVER WORKED WITH................EVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER! You are also THE WORST drama teacher we have ever met! You have no talent!". Carl then asked me if that was the truth and I responded...."YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! No truth handler, YOU! Bah, I deride your truth handling abillities. And another thing, you can shove this script up your a** because I QUIT! GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR!". Me and my brother then walked out with dignity. A couple of weeks later the play premiered and it was a flop. Me and my brother couldn't bare to watch it, because it was horrible- it was so horrible it made Battlefield Earth look like the Godfather. It was even worse than those stupid "original" movies they show on Disney Channel. So I decided to get my revenge on Carl for what he did to the script. I used the Ben 10 working omnitrix and turned myself into Wildmutt (the dog-like alien) and trashed his office.

So later on me and my brother decided to make the play into a movie, but we decided to make it A LOT better than the godawful play was. We made into a motion capture animated film. We made it a cross between 300 and Army Of Darkness. The captain of the pharoah's men ( voiced by Sam Leno) was made to resemble Bruce Campbell. Unlike the original play, the enemy army are Deadite-like zombies, and the priestess now has a motive. In the original play the evil high priestess wasn't particular evil as she didn't have a motive- she just wanted the eye of Horus amulet for some reason. We gave her a motive in the film, we made it that the reason she wants the amulet is because it makes the wearer super powerful. And we also made her a LOT more evil as well. There's a scene where she puts on the amulet and she turns into a snake-like demon, this was inspired by quite a few scenes in movies where the bad guy turns into a big scary monster (this is known as a One Winged Angel act, the name cames from the song One Winged Angel which is the theme of the villain Sepiroth in Final Fantasy 7) such as Maleficent's dragon transfomation in Sleeping Beauty, Jafar's cobra tf in Aladdin, and Thulsa Doom's snake monster transformaiton from Conan The Barbarian.

The movie was released to great acclaim, and many said it was much better than the play was.

Final Fantasy 9 comes out in theatres tommorow and is guranteed to be a most impressive movie. So don't miss out.

Also the Eye Of Horus is out on dvd and bluray.