Looking back

The other students

Me and my brother had absolutely no normal friends at school, at our first school our friends were all a bunch of oddballs. For starters there was Rhys the resident comedian, he was like a regular Jim Carrey, then there was Ricky, Ricky had to be THE most outrageous of them all, he was a big Michael Jackson fan and he loved to goof off- he would often make funny noises and do impersonations, then there was Ashlie, now this kid was another classic funny dude, if there was one thing he knew how to do it's joking around, he could make people laugh just by walking up to them and tapping them on the shoulder, then there was Danny, Danny was a classic comic goofball, he was so funny that even the most cynical of students would wet themselves if they heard one of his jokes. The girls were all right, Kirsty was a very nice girl, naive, kind of shy but she looked like a young Kirsten Dunst and that kind of cute child star-like feel, her parents were fun too especially her dad (her dad was kind of like a regular John Goodman/Jackie Gleason type of guy) and also her older brother was the bomb- for starters he had a tv and playstation in his room, he was also incredibly good looking and a gifted athlete, one time he taught me and my brother some wrestling moves. Another girl in school I was close with was Victoria, now this gal was funny although she was a bit of a ditz, she was very fun to be around even though she wasn't the brightest in the class. Luckily there were two smart gals in the class to balance it out, their names were Geena and Rosalina- both of them were also very fnnny and open minded, both of them were not afraid to speak their mind. There was also a smart boy in the class his name was Daniel and he was a super genius kid, he was like a regular mad scientist. There were these two dudes me and my brother used to hang out with their names were Joseph and Toby and both of them were a blast. We used to make up games with them. Another fun kid we used to make up games with was a kid named Aaron, who was like the utlimate superhero fanatic. He loved shows like Power Rangers and loved it when we played superhero type games. There's one girl at school who we really despised though and that girl was a two timing double crossing tomboy named Stephanie, she came across as quite nice at first but she had a nasty habit of turning friends against eachother, sure she was beautiful on the outside but on the inside she was as cold as ice. Her little brother on the other hand was the best, he was so funny and naughty just like Bart Simpson. He looked a bit like Macaulley Culkin in Home Alone. We always had a blast with him around. There was one girl my brother liked and that was Amy, she was of Irish decent and she was a great dancer. She was really nice and sweet too.

The School Activities

School was horrible for me and my brother. It was like being in Hell, there were numerous rules we had to follow all of them were ludicrous and some were completely unfair. The lessons we had to study were torture, it was like watching a Rob Schneider movie marathon...it was horrible. Getting from one class to another was a challenge in itself, and what makes it worse is that we had to walk up rows and rows of stairs to get to the school cafeteria. It was torture, honestly it was. We were forced to wear drab dark navy blue uniforms that made us a look a little too much like those creepy children from movies like Children Of The Corn. The only time we were allowed to wear our own clothes was on "mufti" days. It was one nightmare after another. Sports Day was the worst of them all, various students were split up into groups which were called "houses" like in Harry Potter and had to compete in various sports games like running, I personally didn't see the point in this because all those houses were doing was competing against eachother for some stupid prize and to get all the glory and points for themselves. And the prize wasn't at all that great anyway, it was just a stuffed toy of that house's team mascot and some other junk, it wasn't all that special.

And

Untidiness, School Assemblies and Nightmare Fuel.

The school we went to was the most disgusting, scum ridden place ever. It was like a swamp. There was a really horrific odour that was so bad you could smell it from a mile away it smelt like my dad's old socks only smellier, sure it looked like a palace on the exterior, but the interior look more like the inside of a haunted house. Not to mention it had a rather creepy vibe in general. The janitor was too much of a slob to clean the place up. School assemblies were the worst, we had to sit through an hour of the school principal going on and on and on about something completely random, he would then tell some ridiculously bad jokes, which was then followed by some pointless ceramony where "certificates" were given for out standing behaviour just to get the students to work even harder, then some of the students would later showcase some ridiculous talent of theirs (and believe me, NONE of them were talented except for me, my brother and our wacky posse) that was either something to do with art or something to do with music, drama and dance- and most of the time they SUCKED, and then we had to endure another round of yakkity yak yak yakking from Mr Cope aka Mr Chataholic or Sir Yaps A Lot as my brother called him, followed by a terribly lame thing called giving out "house" points where the staff would give out awards to the students who won the most points for their "house". You see in our school we had "houses" like in Harry Potter, the houses didn't have names so me and my brother took the liberty of making up names for them- the green house team was called The Morons (because almost everyone in that was either a Ditz, Cloud Cuckoolander or a moron), The yellow house team was called The Backstabbers (because they often lied and cheated to get their way), the blue house team was called The Cowards (because almost everyone on that team were total fraidy cats) and our house the red one was called The Oddballs (because there was an interesting assortment of class clowns, goof balls, eccentric genius types and weirdos). Our house team was the only sane house in the whole school- because everyone else's teams were either crazy, idiotic or pure evil. Our house team were good at recieving points in terms of studying, but on sports day we always lost due to the wretched, sneaky, under handed trechery of The Backstabbers house team. At the end of the assembly we were forced to sing the stupid school song- and let me tell you the school song was the most boring song in the whole world. I can't describe horrible it was without barfing. Sometimes we had "guests" at the school assembly, most of them stank except for this one guy he was like a war hero or something like that, he was awesome and had lots of cool stuff. The worst guest ever to show up was Fireman Sam the character from that Welsh kiddie show of the same name, I was severely traumatised by that show when I was a kid and when he came to our school assembly as a guest speaker- I freaked out and so did my brother, it was horrific, the only thing scarier than that is the utterly horrific PSA we had to watch, it was the Guy Fawkes episode of the show, it was very horrifying, one scene in particular was horrifying, it was the scene where one of the buildings is on fire, and there's some one inside the building screaming in terror or something like that and one of the fire crew members attempts to rescue them but something happens, and there's this really suspenseful horror movie type music in the background, and then the Guy Fawkes scarecrow starts melting from the heat and poor Norman (that's the naughty kid) is locked in there with no escape. It's only made worse after Sam saves him and then breaks the fourth wall by telling the viewers about how to be safe with fireworks and what could happen if they're not careful. That scene traumatised me for life (I still have nightmares where i'm running from a river of fire). The only thing scarier than that is the PSA's they made us watch in class, for example in Spanish class the teacher showed us this educational cartoon once a week about learning the Spanish language, the characters consisted of a lion-like king and his queen, also his servants, his children and a Bigfoot-like monster. In one of the stories one of the king's kids I think it was the prince went into a cave and it was all dark and scary, there was also this menacingly growling sound coming from inside of it, the prince goes in to investigate further, however when he gets closer a scaly, monster-like hand with razor sharp claws rises out of the shadow then as the prince is about to leave the monster comes out of the shadows, attacks the prince, and then drags him into his lair and then eats him whole. In another one, one of the King's servants is turned into a monster and the transformation was simply horrific. In Health Class we had to endure a rather nightmarish PSA titled Germ Alert, it was supposed to be about good hygiene, this wicked witch-like villainess used a special spell to ruin the whole town with filth and the scary part is the effect of her spell causes everyone in town even the main heroes to become mindless, grey skinned, zombie-like ghouls- it was especially disturbing seeing one of the people turning into one, it was like a major case of Transformation Trauma with plenty of Body Horror. There was one for science class which had a rather disturbing scene where there's a beautiful girl who all of a sudden slowly morphs into a demon of some kind.